怎么会狠心伤害我
Pain.
Where have you been yesterday or last night?
Tell me.
YES please, tell me the whole thing.
Please.
This is important to me.
Thank you for offering and asking me if I will move back with you.
You told me you had nightmare and you were scared. That's so sweet.
But "what if" there wasn't any? Tell me what would happen to us?
You say, since I have changed, so should be okie.
but "what if" I never? Tell me what would happen to us?
I told you, you will need to consider few things.
I don't mean to put you down, but I was hurt bcoz of last nite.
I told you, you are irresponsible.
And you replied me say, if we were to stay together again, you will be like last time.
but "what if" we never? Tell me what would happen to us?
Can you see the whole picture? It is all about me. That's me. And only me.
Yes, you need to see my action before you start your plan and be who you are and start giving.
but "what if" I think the same way too? Wait for miracle to happen? Does that mean both will never see any good result turn out?
Yes. There is no "what if". There is only possibility, yes or no.
I try not to be defensive and rude. I try to use better words so that we both won't get upset or make the whole r/s worse than before. I try to speak straight to the point until im speechless and I am blank.
You need assurance, you have fear, you lack of confidence, i offer to be the leader to boost up what you need. And I will deal with mine behind.
Life isnt fair. Yes. I wish in a r/s you will love me more.
but i don't feel appreciated and neglected during this few months.
Im not blaming you. Dont get me wrong. I just want to share with you few things then im all done.
I hate being in such situation. All of your friends think we are no long together. Coz you behave that way. And you told them you want me to move out. That's hurt from the very first day until today. Yes. you gave alot. but does that mean you can kill my heart like that? This is the very first thing draw us away and this is the very issue that disconnect me from you. This is a shame to me.
Secondly, you told your close friend about us. And being so secretive until the whole world say you and her. It is not that I don't trust you. Again, you behave as such. How could I believe 100%ly? You never bother to explain and this make me hanging and i feel useless and hopeless. This is hurt. This took me months to overcome.
third, moving out is your choice. You never share with me what's your plan. I would love to hear from you and always so. I pick up myself from no where and I was like an idiot keep waiting for you. I cried, almost everyday. Coz i feel hurt. even now. I have dealed with my fear and nonsense, dont worry.
I have never restrict you from hanging out with your friends. Since you ask me to repect you, your privacy, I give it all to you. You changed your password, you went out with your friends never tell me until the very last min (thats ok coz you never bring me with you), you have plans during weekend and you ask me if we shld meet up at night.
Share me your thoughts, how many times you told me we meeting and ended up nothing? Dont say say or bring it thru even if you have no intention of doing it. Please. Help me with this. I sincerely hope that nothing goes wrong anymore. i love you and how you are the most important person on the earth to me. But something you do sometimes makes my heart soft of go away.
All i need from you is be more responsible. Commitment is not easy to handle. Once you say yes, I shall trust you in handling them nicely, coz you are the man of the house and in us. I love and value so many things about you.
I love the effort that you put in and the time we have together means alot to me, and your lateness robs me of what I really desire - to have good time with you. Do you mean there's nothing can motive you anymore? Seeing me is something so boring? *laugh* perhaps not boring but irritating.. Tell me, i dont mind. I hope we can clear away all doubts and misunderstanding and move on together.
I always love to stay with you stick to you and be with you. You may want to take those things into consideration. 1, you friends will know about this. I care what they are thinking. Coz i hate being judged and I hate rumours. I need to protect our reputation and i want us to be the perfect sample for all of them.
2, Your privacy. Again, you need to make it clear what can be shared and what not. You know the taste of living together. Im not pushing you, I just want you to understand if you are ready for it. I don't want to irritate you and ended up not happy and ask me to move away again. And during this season, all you need is plenty of supports for your career. I refuse to be anyone's burden. I love to have you but if this is too much for you, i will step back.
3, Responsibilty. This is the most biggest commitment in a r/s. This include delivery of promises, willing to commit in a r/s fully until the extend of giving up being who you are, sacrifices and to change to suit the environment and your partner.
Tell me share me your most inner thoughts. I am always here for you, 24/7 x 365days x 100 years.
When times are right, everything will start to fall at its place nicely.
I am sorry to write you such long nonsense. There are things i seriously dunno how to speak out. I scared I might hurt you or cry infront of you. This is why i chose to ask you to go sleep last nite. Forgive me my stupidity.
Love you always & happy boxing day.
- lovely -
Friday, December 25, 2009
Leave me alone if you have no idea how to treasure me and my heart.
Thank you.
Disappointed.
I am speechless and I am really disappointed.
I take each of your single word into heart and waiting patiently at home thought we will be meeting at night. Atleast we could just spend alittle time during this special day. I seriously feel like an ............. I would appreciate atleast you call/text to inform me.
Nevermind..
Your choice.
I told myself not to give up and hope high. but..
Nevermind..
Your decision.
I am hurt.. Deeply.. and unhappy about it.. I know Im not important to you....
It is alrite.
We have different view about commitment.
I don't know what to say anymore.
All the words disappear from my mind
and im blank, totally.
Perhaps I take things too serious...
Maybe you are right.
This is not something you can predict, simply because nothing motives your interest in it.
Or ... your heart is not here anymore.
If i push you to hard,
i am sorry.
My fault.
I shall stop bothering you.
I am sorry.
Forget abt this &
Enjoy your Christmas day.
-lovely-
Thank you.
Disappointed.
I am speechless and I am really disappointed.
I take each of your single word into heart and waiting patiently at home thought we will be meeting at night. Atleast we could just spend alittle time during this special day. I seriously feel like an ............. I would appreciate atleast you call/text to inform me.
Nevermind..
Your choice.
I told myself not to give up and hope high. but..
Nevermind..
Your decision.
I am hurt.. Deeply.. and unhappy about it.. I know Im not important to you....
It is alrite.
We have different view about commitment.
I don't know what to say anymore.
All the words disappear from my mind
and im blank, totally.
Perhaps I take things too serious...
Maybe you are right.
This is not something you can predict, simply because nothing motives your interest in it.
Or ... your heart is not here anymore.
If i push you to hard,
i am sorry.
My fault.
I shall stop bothering you.
I am sorry.
Forget abt this &
Enjoy your Christmas day.
-lovely-
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!!! & Happy 2010!
Ho! ho! ho! Why did santa's wife slap him?
Because he kept calling her a ho! (slang for whore)...
I think she is a whore.. Santa so fat and old, the wife so young and pretty. She is definately a whore... *opps..giggle*
Hmm... Santan didn't come last nite. Wonder if the window too small or 13th floor too high for him. Ohh... I think GPS can't locate these new blocks.. *wondering*
!@#$ u lor... your text msg seriously perk me up... *Love*
25 Dec 2009 11:45am
He never even come to 5th floor shag makes you think he will go 13th? haha merry Xmas
Well, i have presents from... Cylester aka secret buddy in office gift exchange (yet to open), Carol (Crabtree and Evelyn lotion), Fiona & Sharon (yet to find out but from action city), Adrian (biscuit), Wilson (Snow man and Christmas tree and small cupcake donut, I only took the small cupcake, the rest taken by Darlene and Bryon)... This is all... :) Mom says next week i go bek i will have my surprises.. Think she got me a new cupboard. And guess what.. today is the spring cleaning day...
My sis hates it! And she told me she found lots of my old photos with my ex.. I know this is not a good time to talk abt. But well, i love to share this with you. My mom say she will cut and burn the pictures.. Let by gone be by gone and she knows i care about your feeling.. Wow! i am touched... Hooray!!!! I love you mom!!!
She finally get my point and she finally let me take charge.. Finally... i feel old again...she says I have been working outside for so long.. She knows i can handle things and judge myself. She respects my decision and she wants me to be happy and not to worry about home. *sob sob* I am such useless rite? She will continue to worry until she sees me settle down my life and have my own family. Guess this is the only wish from all parent. Well, let's plan and see what can i do...
I bought myself gifts like little man usb port. Office ppl and my boss love it.. They even love my thumb drive, toys on the table, stationery whatever on my table. They just find I am the weird one. *am i?*
Well, this year i didn't buy anything. Last year i bought alot of things for my family. This year i only bought one for myself and made one gift for my loved one. *sweet*
2009 is some sort of a not quite good year for me. Changed jobs and my uncle passed away. Year end disaster. Life is short... *sad*
Well, pray next year things will be better and smoother! woohoooo!!! *cheers* Today 12am can open the presents edi... Sure MCC and LPP don't let me touch it... *laugh* Both of them hug the presents like its already part of their body... Let's see how to steal the presents from them over midnite... *Evil laugh*...
Not really excited about those presents but well, just part of the process.. So i got to do it! *yea yea* i got presents.. *laugh out loud* oh man...maybe because of my age and mentality, this just doesnt work... hahaha... shit la.. i feel old suddenly.... Maybe i should just do it a few more times.. *-_-lll*
but I enjoy buying presents.. Thinking what to buy, what theme party to do.. how to make the present more interesting... I love doing that instead of receiving.. oh no.. i seriously feel old.. Only mature ppl or parent think that way.. oh no!!! *Thunder & Lighting*..
Alrite.. now i hungry edi...I shld go buy chicken and think that is turkey then get ice lemon tea think that is beer and celebrate... *Joy* woohooo!!!
Thanks for sharing last nite abt you being touched for my past blog. I love hearing that..*sweet* Christmas is all about love and giving. Please do not doubt the love that I have for you.. Never go lesser but growing more each day..I love what we have build up and I love the love we share together... I love single little moment we spend together and I treasure them all. Please do not doubt my love to you anymore, never and ever. Please promise.. I do not want you to feel disconnected from me anymore. Please do tell me if you feel that way again..
Merry Christmas to you my love... *wink*
^Lovely^
Ho! ho! ho! Why did santa's wife slap him?
Because he kept calling her a ho! (slang for whore)...
I think she is a whore.. Santa so fat and old, the wife so young and pretty. She is definately a whore... *opps..giggle*
Hmm... Santan didn't come last nite. Wonder if the window too small or 13th floor too high for him. Ohh... I think GPS can't locate these new blocks.. *wondering*
!@#$ u lor... your text msg seriously perk me up... *Love*
25 Dec 2009 11:45am
He never even come to 5th floor shag makes you think he will go 13th? haha merry Xmas
Well, i have presents from... Cylester aka secret buddy in office gift exchange (yet to open), Carol (Crabtree and Evelyn lotion), Fiona & Sharon (yet to find out but from action city), Adrian (biscuit), Wilson (Snow man and Christmas tree and small cupcake donut, I only took the small cupcake, the rest taken by Darlene and Bryon)... This is all... :) Mom says next week i go bek i will have my surprises.. Think she got me a new cupboard. And guess what.. today is the spring cleaning day...
My sis hates it! And she told me she found lots of my old photos with my ex.. I know this is not a good time to talk abt. But well, i love to share this with you. My mom say she will cut and burn the pictures.. Let by gone be by gone and she knows i care about your feeling.. Wow! i am touched... Hooray!!!! I love you mom!!!
She finally get my point and she finally let me take charge.. Finally... i feel old again...she says I have been working outside for so long.. She knows i can handle things and judge myself. She respects my decision and she wants me to be happy and not to worry about home. *sob sob* I am such useless rite? She will continue to worry until she sees me settle down my life and have my own family. Guess this is the only wish from all parent. Well, let's plan and see what can i do...
I bought myself gifts like little man usb port. Office ppl and my boss love it.. They even love my thumb drive, toys on the table, stationery whatever on my table. They just find I am the weird one. *am i?*
Well, this year i didn't buy anything. Last year i bought alot of things for my family. This year i only bought one for myself and made one gift for my loved one. *sweet*
2009 is some sort of a not quite good year for me. Changed jobs and my uncle passed away. Year end disaster. Life is short... *sad*
Well, pray next year things will be better and smoother! woohoooo!!! *cheers* Today 12am can open the presents edi... Sure MCC and LPP don't let me touch it... *laugh* Both of them hug the presents like its already part of their body... Let's see how to steal the presents from them over midnite... *Evil laugh*...
Not really excited about those presents but well, just part of the process.. So i got to do it! *yea yea* i got presents.. *laugh out loud* oh man...maybe because of my age and mentality, this just doesnt work... hahaha... shit la.. i feel old suddenly.... Maybe i should just do it a few more times.. *-_-lll*
but I enjoy buying presents.. Thinking what to buy, what theme party to do.. how to make the present more interesting... I love doing that instead of receiving.. oh no.. i seriously feel old.. Only mature ppl or parent think that way.. oh no!!! *Thunder & Lighting*..
Alrite.. now i hungry edi...I shld go buy chicken and think that is turkey then get ice lemon tea think that is beer and celebrate... *Joy* woohooo!!!
Thanks for sharing last nite abt you being touched for my past blog. I love hearing that..*sweet* Christmas is all about love and giving. Please do not doubt the love that I have for you.. Never go lesser but growing more each day..I love what we have build up and I love the love we share together... I love single little moment we spend together and I treasure them all. Please do not doubt my love to you anymore, never and ever. Please promise.. I do not want you to feel disconnected from me anymore. Please do tell me if you feel that way again..
Merry Christmas to you my love... *wink*
^Lovely^
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Half day & Half dead!
Today is Christmas Eve! Woohoo! Merry Christmas and merrrrry long weekend!!! *Cheers*
Half day and got home ard 2pm then ate then bathed and nap.. Feel so good! *Chippy*
But.... everyone is planning to go where and where to celebrate while i tell them... erm... i also got celebration... with my kids.... Sirotan, duckie, Girapoo, Bear Bear, MCC and LPP... They are all at home and hugging the Christmas presents! *Yeah!*
We ordered special ice-cream to daddy's house. and they kids say "Miss you daddy!!! Merry Christmas without us!!" Well, i know i screwed up... kids know i screwed up..Coz i was sad during the nite. *tears dropping*
Well, i promise no more delivery services and of coz im not saying i am gonna give up giving you surprises.. Never think that way. I will do what it takes to make the r/s going. simply because i care.
Well, before i ki siao... you better explain yourself first... what do you mean by your sms?
24 Dec 2009 7:43pm
What you mean good? Why marry you like that? Cheh so easy...
you have few choices. So please kindly explain further... I love to hear from you..
Hope you enjoy the ice cream.. nah! you are not fat..and this ice-cream wont make you gain 1kg. not even 10gm.... The most important thing is, Christmas is all about love and giving. We hope to give you the best and share the most precious with you in our lives.. Well, you mom did say during the phone call. R/s is all abt trust and encourage each other. Well, maybe this is just part of the process in life. We been thru, we taste it and we know what we want best.
Merry Christmas to you and love you..
*Oh oh...tell me when you free so I can deliver your gift to you. Must be before 30 Dec.*
^Lovely^
Today is Christmas Eve! Woohoo! Merry Christmas and merrrrry long weekend!!! *Cheers*
Half day and got home ard 2pm then ate then bathed and nap.. Feel so good! *Chippy*
But.... everyone is planning to go where and where to celebrate while i tell them... erm... i also got celebration... with my kids.... Sirotan, duckie, Girapoo, Bear Bear, MCC and LPP... They are all at home and hugging the Christmas presents! *Yeah!*
We ordered special ice-cream to daddy's house. and they kids say "Miss you daddy!!! Merry Christmas without us!!" Well, i know i screwed up... kids know i screwed up..Coz i was sad during the nite. *tears dropping*
Well, i promise no more delivery services and of coz im not saying i am gonna give up giving you surprises.. Never think that way. I will do what it takes to make the r/s going. simply because i care.
Well, before i ki siao... you better explain yourself first... what do you mean by your sms?
24 Dec 2009 7:43pm
What you mean good? Why marry you like that? Cheh so easy...
you have few choices. So please kindly explain further... I love to hear from you..
Hope you enjoy the ice cream.. nah! you are not fat..and this ice-cream wont make you gain 1kg. not even 10gm.... The most important thing is, Christmas is all about love and giving. We hope to give you the best and share the most precious with you in our lives.. Well, you mom did say during the phone call. R/s is all abt trust and encourage each other. Well, maybe this is just part of the process in life. We been thru, we taste it and we know what we want best.
Merry Christmas to you and love you..
*Oh oh...tell me when you free so I can deliver your gift to you. Must be before 30 Dec.*
^Lovely^
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I am hurt. Deeply hurt... *sobbing*
Can't get over it!!
Im hurt... really hurt... *Ouch...*
After 30mins of chewing the sotong shredded pieces, I feel better now.. Much better... *Emo*
My heart pain since the moment you sms me telling me about the call. My breath feel heavy and my whole body sore and my gastirc pain. *Sad*
Im not sure if this is fated or this is just not my luck. 5 deliveries in my entire life, 3 screwed up. and all 3 on you. suay or wat i dont know. I know this time i feel much worse than the other 2 times. First time birthday cup cakes, second time your birthday cake, third time ice-cream. I hope this ice-cream helps to make up abit later.
I love that ice-cream. That's why i try all my best to get it.. But didnt know it turn out this way...I am so sorry.. This ice-cream only meant for fine dining and we will sure love it if we were to have good food now.. *Love*
I save the nicest for you and your family at this special day, Christmas is all about love and giving. I didn't give you what you have deserved in the past and now i hope i can do something to perk up our r/s. but...buuttt..... I have failed you again... *CRY*.
Im hurt.. I don't know what to do next and I don't feel like doing anything anymore... I am a total loser. and I have give up on myself...
I am sorry. Wish you have a great christmas.....
*Heartbroken*
*Lovely*
Can't get over it!!
Im hurt... really hurt... *Ouch...*
After 30mins of chewing the sotong shredded pieces, I feel better now.. Much better... *Emo*
My heart pain since the moment you sms me telling me about the call. My breath feel heavy and my whole body sore and my gastirc pain. *Sad*
Im not sure if this is fated or this is just not my luck. 5 deliveries in my entire life, 3 screwed up. and all 3 on you. suay or wat i dont know. I know this time i feel much worse than the other 2 times. First time birthday cup cakes, second time your birthday cake, third time ice-cream. I hope this ice-cream helps to make up abit later.
I love that ice-cream. That's why i try all my best to get it.. But didnt know it turn out this way...I am so sorry.. This ice-cream only meant for fine dining and we will sure love it if we were to have good food now.. *Love*
I save the nicest for you and your family at this special day, Christmas is all about love and giving. I didn't give you what you have deserved in the past and now i hope i can do something to perk up our r/s. but...buuttt..... I have failed you again... *CRY*.
Im hurt.. I don't know what to do next and I don't feel like doing anything anymore... I am a total loser. and I have give up on myself...
I am sorry. Wish you have a great christmas.....
*Heartbroken*
*Lovely*
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Good to go!! Finally done! *phew*
Wow! I love it! They love it! opps.. ya.. i show 2 of my colleagues about my creation. Not sure if you will like and I do need courage and support to go on...Lately been lack of confidence. *Sigh*.. Yeah!!! overall good ratings!!
I just love these color combination. I can't wait to post up those photos I took. But...I can't.. *sob sob*.. Coz I must give to you first.. Else there won't be a surprise edi... *Blink Blink*
Oh yeah! a full day hard work worth more than what I've sweat out. You may not like it, but Love one another deeply, from the heart. (1 Peter 1:22) I love what I do, and I hope my love will touch your heart and draw you closer to my world. Touched? *Wink* *Love it*
Ohh well, I know sometimes I get hurt too easily, and that's not you, that's me. When you negate my words, I feel alone and unloved. *sad*. Now you drift apart from me, i feel disconnected and hurt. I keep bringing up some issues beecause they are important to me and I just want us to get closer than before. And I hope by sprinkle you with my little caring and love, will make things better, keep things moving. Sometimes I need your help to push me further, because that's how we learn what we want. I do wish to share your love equally with your career *cough cough* (FYI: of coz I do hope to have 80% of your love and attention and total you only have 100%), I know work is addictive. I do hope we will have time to talk. Comunication is the main tool to keep us going, I love you to story me. I love to hear from you, I want to know more about your daily life, not only problems but every single little thing.
We used to talk rubbish, nonsense and we even have word for the week. *Laugh* like release... That's the very first word we started off. *Shy*.. Remember?
*Love never dies! Love keeps our heart warm and make us happy in our daily life. Love is our daily bread and Love make us blush and cheerful* ... Oh dear, i hope you do feel something from my action. I promised and assured you that I will keep this going and I will not change my heart for you. Let my gift tells you the whole.
Check out the instruction manual soon.
Love you always. ^Lovely^
Love and Faithfulness meet together,righteousness and peace kiss each other. (Ps. 85:10)
Wow! I love it! They love it! opps.. ya.. i show 2 of my colleagues about my creation. Not sure if you will like and I do need courage and support to go on...Lately been lack of confidence. *Sigh*.. Yeah!!! overall good ratings!!
I just love these color combination. I can't wait to post up those photos I took. But...I can't.. *sob sob*.. Coz I must give to you first.. Else there won't be a surprise edi... *Blink Blink*
Oh yeah! a full day hard work worth more than what I've sweat out. You may not like it, but Love one another deeply, from the heart. (1 Peter 1:22) I love what I do, and I hope my love will touch your heart and draw you closer to my world. Touched? *Wink* *Love it*
Ohh well, I know sometimes I get hurt too easily, and that's not you, that's me. When you negate my words, I feel alone and unloved. *sad*. Now you drift apart from me, i feel disconnected and hurt. I keep bringing up some issues beecause they are important to me and I just want us to get closer than before. And I hope by sprinkle you with my little caring and love, will make things better, keep things moving. Sometimes I need your help to push me further, because that's how we learn what we want. I do wish to share your love equally with your career *cough cough* (FYI: of coz I do hope to have 80% of your love and attention and total you only have 100%), I know work is addictive. I do hope we will have time to talk. Comunication is the main tool to keep us going, I love you to story me. I love to hear from you, I want to know more about your daily life, not only problems but every single little thing.
We used to talk rubbish, nonsense and we even have word for the week. *Laugh* like release... That's the very first word we started off. *Shy*.. Remember?
*Love never dies! Love keeps our heart warm and make us happy in our daily life. Love is our daily bread and Love make us blush and cheerful* ... Oh dear, i hope you do feel something from my action. I promised and assured you that I will keep this going and I will not change my heart for you. Let my gift tells you the whole.
Check out the instruction manual soon.
Love you always. ^Lovely^
Love and Faithfulness meet together,righteousness and peace kiss each other. (Ps. 85:10)
Monday, December 21, 2009
Shoooooo my Monday Blue away!
Laugh my heart out!!!! hahahahahaha
I thought only love makes the heart melt. But... Butttt.... muahahahahahahahahaha!
Shit la! I think my wire something wrong..my engine just go wild again! hahahahahahaha!
This all started from the morning. Monday morning I got to go Bonia office to pick up CDs. Then will head to office to do the color proof. Then 11am got meeting at robinson rd CDL. then tot after that go Marina Blvd to pick up the sponsored prize. Then heng heng after i finished Bonia, on the way Darlene called say CDL meeting pushed to 5pm. Then i dropped by Marine Blvd to pick up prizes. Then walked bek to office. Weather was nice! but road uneven and dirty coz of the construction side. *Sweat*
Okay! come bek to the first thing I did when i woke up. Usually i wake up ard 7:40am. Exact time is 7:35am. Sometimes I need to wash clothes then i will wake up early. Then today i woke up at ard 8:10am. My aunt talked to me ard 7:50am ask if i not going to work. Shit la! woke me up! else i can sleep awhile more. Then woke up, fold my 'blanket' then saw MCC smilling. Coz i have 2 presents sitting on MCC & LPP. They look happy hugging them. *Cheerful*. *Please see below for the picture! Show time!!*
Laugh my heart out!!!! hahahahahaha
I thought only love makes the heart melt. But... Butttt.... muahahahahahahahahaha!
Shit la! I think my wire something wrong..my engine just go wild again! hahahahahahaha!
This all started from the morning. Monday morning I got to go Bonia office to pick up CDs. Then will head to office to do the color proof. Then 11am got meeting at robinson rd CDL. then tot after that go Marina Blvd to pick up the sponsored prize. Then heng heng after i finished Bonia, on the way Darlene called say CDL meeting pushed to 5pm. Then i dropped by Marine Blvd to pick up prizes. Then walked bek to office. Weather was nice! but road uneven and dirty coz of the construction side. *Sweat*
Okay! come bek to the first thing I did when i woke up. Usually i wake up ard 7:40am. Exact time is 7:35am. Sometimes I need to wash clothes then i will wake up early. Then today i woke up at ard 8:10am. My aunt talked to me ard 7:50am ask if i not going to work. Shit la! woke me up! else i can sleep awhile more. Then woke up, fold my 'blanket' then saw MCC smilling. Coz i have 2 presents sitting on MCC & LPP. They look happy hugging them. *Cheerful*. *Please see below for the picture! Show time!!*
Imagine early morning i arrange them for photo shoot. hahahahahaha mad right? And you still remember you will grant me my wish if i can make him smile again?? *puzzled* Now i have made it!!! See! He smiles with big *GRIN* hahahahahaha
After i took that pic, i went to bathe then dress up then go Bonia office. Then ard 11+am, we had our lucky draw! woohoo! everyone hoping to get something nice home. hahaha of coz me too. I havent been getting any present or gift from lucky draw already. *emo* sad rite?
Anyway, the final draw was between me and Johari. They said every year lucky draw he will get nice prize. So we were competing each for the first prize. hahahahahahaha *hiccup* opps..... I got it!!!! yeah!!!!
*wink* *peace* hahaha... i won $500 Hugo Boss voucher. But i plan to sell it. *Wait* Dont be upset ya! It is not that i dont want to give you, like i say, from the first day wen i do this sponsorship, i edi plan to win this and give it to you as your christmas present or CNY new clothes. The thing is, the T&C wont allow us to have so much freedom in making our choice. So i decided to sell it then have the cash. with cash, you can buy whatever you want. Dont be upset ok? If you have anyone want to buy from me also i dun mind. I just want to keep the cash so that you can buy new clothes.
Today is a happy Monday. I thought today want to have Manja Monday. Coz monday usually blue. Oh well! maybe tomorrow will be Emo Tuesday. *Sad*
Anderson on urgent leave and will only be back to work next week Monday. Kinda worry about him. Heard that his mom in hospital and say his msn post "Please wake up". I abit.... *sweat*. Well, everyone in office keep asking around if he is okay. I dare not to ask him anything worried that might add on his burden. But well, just pray that he is strong enough to handle everything.
What about you? Are you okay? I was so happy since sunday and slept so well since last nite. Thinking about you all day and want to share this happy monday with you. but guess you were too busy.. Let me know when can i call you, coz i dont want to interupt you and i feel *hurt* when my call got rejected. Well, i do understand you need to help to build up the company, please..please... take good care of yourself. and all i can do is to....wait.
Wait for your return and wait to have you in my arms again...
*love* Love you always! ^Lovely^.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Feel it inside out!!!
Wow! Wow! wow wow! wow wow wow!
I can feel the arms again! This is real and this feels so good! *Love*
This felt like the first day i met you and the very first time we went out together. *Eyes rolling* This feels so different and it feels like ant biting my skin. bitter, pain and sweet! *Amazed*
I was so nervous when i got down the bus and i thought I could just kisss you gently and stare at you awhile. But you were so *awfully* looking at me.. :S why arr? I know i am still who i am and im not any prettier. *sobbing* you scared me! you make me panic!
Oh well, wanted to hold your hand but not sure if you like it. And not sure if you let me to. Later if you swing away my hand, u might worry i cant take it. Or you might not want to spoil my mood. Well, just tell me if you are not ready. I know there are lotsa i wanted to do, but i will make it slow. Let's be more prepared next time and take things slowly. I believe one day you will be more open to me. *smile*
Well, i had a great time together hugging you and kissing you. I wish time can just pause for awhile. Erm..Time machine! *wink*....
Thanks for buying me snacks and I will try to put on weight. I think my extra wings are bigger than my boobs liao... Oppps .... *Shy*
Oh boy! i miss the old us. i miss the fun time we had before. I miss being who i am and now i cant. To be a better me, i have to take alot of things into consideration. I know you lack of faith, let me build that up. I will be more gentle and give you more TLC. I know I cant do anything to compensate the past, but im sure i can do something to change the future.
Again, i wont promise I will be perfect which i know i can't. No one is perfect thats why pencils have erasers. when ppl come to their comfort zone, they will start taking things for granted. Dont worry, you have my assurance. Of coz sometimes I slack, but i will remind myself constantly not to over board. U have my assurance! *keep my finger crossed tight tight*
These were the 2 most touching sms i ever had! I want to keep them everyday around me. I love them alot! They inspire me and they motivate me! Thank you dear for such sweet sms and gentle reminder. I know wat you are thinking and i hope with my promise and effort, things will turn out well very soon.
12:56am 20 Dec 2009
I'm on my way home now. I've been reading your blog everday. All i can say is i miss you i miss us i hate you i feel scared i dont know what to do i want to hug you i want to kiss you i still get irritated by you (sometimes) i feel lonely i wonder what you are doing all the time i do think about you.
I miss you too. I wonder if you are alone or bz or doing well or with someone else. i feel sad when my mind is free. i hate being alone and i feel so much lonesome in me. This is worse than the first 6 months when i first came to SG. I want to call you text you and spend more time with you. But I feel cold and the rejection was i-tolerance. I somehow feel like giving up few times. U perk me up whenever i feel like losing my heart. You just smart and you chose the right time to do the right things. Not like me, i always the wrong one.
1:18am 20 Dec 2009
I dont want to leave you out thats why but im scared. Past two years build up until i really dunno what to do. Now i finally feel loved again but i scared if you will change again. Part of me misses you alot wish you were here with me again but dont know how to open mouth. Another part is scared I have you close again if i will be irritated again I dont want to keep repeating like this that's why i say i feel lost.
I sometimes irritate you bcoz I over protective. I just dont want you to be so tired and stress-up. I still treat you like a kid. I have that sister love in me. I dont just treat you like my boy friend, hubby but bro, close friend, soul mate,everything that comes with life. I should just let you be more independent and give you more freedom. I be so concious becoz when a woman say no, in heart, actually a yes. So i abit paranoid by this. I am not sure if you are them. Want me to *hong* you few times then you will say the real thing. I dont mind at all. I jst want to know if what you say is what you mean in heart. Then i know what I can do to make everythg turn gold.
Anyway, I have a nice ending for 2009. What was past I cant change, but what is coming up, it's already in my mind. I cant say they are well-planned and fantastic, but if we can do it together, that will be amazingly fantabulous!! *love*
Looking forward to fulfill them!
*i love you & i stl want things to happen. I will be the leader to build up the foundation. Of coz i stll have my shy part. forgive me if i cant read u well. but i promise to try harder. much much harder. share with me how i can make it better, i wan to make u feel good.*
*Lovely*
I can't wait! I am so going to have this day to arrive!!!
Good morning! I had a sweet night. I wish I can skip these 8hrs and see you now! Hooray! *claps*
*heartaching* When I received your sms, i was stun and blank. I think you can read my mind and you just know me too well. There's only one thing can change my mind and stop everything immediately. Guess what!
I am just a normal human who has mom and dad and siblings. Just an adjective! (erm..im not saying you are not coz you are single child. *cough* but you are seriously abit different.)
*Phew* stop blogging awhile and continue my work. Then *pause* then went downstairs to buy things. Wanna complete the item before this week. Then can pass to you before 30 Dec.
I think most probably i will go bek KL on 31 dec. Mom did ask me to go bek and say wan to go Penang with bobby. Well, dun really interested in that unless you wanna go too. Anyway, i plan to book hotel in the city area so nite time can see fireworks count down. Walk ard the city, spend time sigh seeing, feel the city then go bek hotel. I did that like 5yrs ago, think it is time to do thatagn. I hope you can come with me, but i worried you might not want to spend time with my family together. I hope we can stick together wherever we go, One Soul, One Mind, One Heart!
But..buttttt.... you will look weird in human top donkey bottom. How to have one soul, one mind one heart with this kind of weirdo? Narnia came alive? :S
*PAUSE* Carol and Dale are here. Got to stop work... miss ya and cant wait to see you.... *Love*
{ Lovely }
Good morning! I had a sweet night. I wish I can skip these 8hrs and see you now! Hooray! *claps*
*heartaching* When I received your sms, i was stun and blank. I think you can read my mind and you just know me too well. There's only one thing can change my mind and stop everything immediately. Guess what!
I am just a normal human who has mom and dad and siblings. Just an adjective! (erm..im not saying you are not coz you are single child. *cough* but you are seriously abit different.)
*Phew* stop blogging awhile and continue my work. Then *pause* then went downstairs to buy things. Wanna complete the item before this week. Then can pass to you before 30 Dec.
I think most probably i will go bek KL on 31 dec. Mom did ask me to go bek and say wan to go Penang with bobby. Well, dun really interested in that unless you wanna go too. Anyway, i plan to book hotel in the city area so nite time can see fireworks count down. Walk ard the city, spend time sigh seeing, feel the city then go bek hotel. I did that like 5yrs ago, think it is time to do thatagn. I hope you can come with me, but i worried you might not want to spend time with my family together. I hope we can stick together wherever we go, One Soul, One Mind, One Heart!
But..buttttt.... you will look weird in human top donkey bottom. How to have one soul, one mind one heart with this kind of weirdo? Narnia came alive? :S
*PAUSE* Carol and Dale are here. Got to stop work... miss ya and cant wait to see you.... *Love*
{ Lovely }
Saturday, December 19, 2009
If 22 is too old for 19, then what about 28?
this is insulting... :(
hahaha....
18 Dec 2009 7pm Vibes Comm Christmas Party @ East Coast Timbre Mobile.
A place that will make people fall in love with, a place that will make people wonder what if it rains, a place that you will bring your loved one to dine-in, a place that you will want to date at.
I was totally amazed when i first step into the place. Ya! everything is so mobile. Tmbre Mobile what...kakaka :D... The live band stage, the mobile container, the kitchen, the tables and chairs, the lightings, the set up..everything just so amazing.. *Eyes rolling*
We set-up a table for presents and games gadgets. Then started to order our first drink of the night! Woohoo!!! free drinks for whole night long!! Yeah!!! *Lychee Martini, Apple Martini...*
Too bad, another group of colleagues stuck in office due to the LG ad. Poor thing! Well, bosses and ppl around kept calling them and rush them over. LOL... this is so family! *love*
Well, as usual. Marcus was the one who always say coming coming coming and still there. and Anderson, Bryon, Nurul & Johari shared one car. Bryon drove them here. Surprisingly, none wanted to share car with Marcus. Thats funny!!! Bryon win!
DT and few colleagues were talking about Marcus. Complaining how slow and slopy is he.. LOL! Then i act! They tot i was formally from Media Corp acting school. Muahahaha! True lor..He is damn slow lor. Everytime ask me to go meeting with him, if he dont rush me, i will take my own sweet time to settle my work. Once he cant wait any longer, he will get angry and throw tantrum. What a weirdo! Ppl cant be late but he can nuah! Wat the.... *Turn off*. Oh Well, DT says he is not a good husband! and haha Well, ppl out there, you know what you want lor hor...
Then some jst trying to make Anderson drunk. Haha boss hor very bad one lor..He told the whole world he cant drink, then everyone come & attack him straight away! hahahaha...poor Anderson!
Then picture picture! Cheers Cheers! Groom *Ian* & Bride *Fiona* went around toasting. Adrian, the most si wen guy, say he cant drink too much of beer, he will get diarroea. Then Migz kept asking him to drink and guess what he say " Later I LS in my pants you help me to wipe?" then we all LOLOLOLOLOL! Adrian in the office will never be so un-glam! hahaha...There you go! *Wink* Wolf will show its true color once the moon is bright up high. *Laugh*
The pizza, food, desserts all - *slurp* *Yummy*!!!! I want to go again!!! i want to have their pizza again~ 30% of food, 50% drinks 20% laughter filled up my tummy for the night. So full!
Oh oh! come bek to the 22, 19 and 28 number thingy. Melvin is 22, he is gay and he has a bf who is 20. And he saw this blue shirt guy who was celebrating his fren's birthday over at the other side. He says he is cute and he thinks he is straight. Pearlyn also think he is straight. Well, Shu Min thought so too. For me, i have no comment. Coz I was not interested (haha more like i dont know how to see coz it's not obvious enuf) and I didnt really notice which one until........
DT sat down infront of us and offer to walk over and tell the blue shirt guy about Melvin likes him and Shu Min and me want to know him. Then I keep pushing Melvin to do and make friend. He is so young! Damn! He told us his current bf only together for 6 months. and this is the longest! haha JS say yalor..time to change edi since this is the longest you claim..LOL bad sia this boss!
Then DT walked over and pull the guy! OMG!!!! Melvin panic and he started to hold Shu Min tightly. Partyly he is high, and she has to help taking care of him.. Then DT help to intro intro then I quickly walk away... OMG! This is too much for me.. *scary*
Party continued with live band! They all started to sing and dacing around.. Drink and smoke and scream and picture!!!!
Ended up the group came aft 10pm..By then we already cool down and half done. Those aunties, uncles who have families all gone. Left the single ladies and boys and men around. Share cab home or hubby fetch or ...... Dont know how and when they actually disappeared. Then ended up, Marcus sent me home.. Yeah! free transport! He just cant stand the noisy'ness of the rest of the colleagues and go home see his other half.. LOL..
Well, i enjoyed myself ! guess i have no more reputation liao! hahaha
Looking forward for more parties and next year bonuses and company trip!!
then i can settle down my life edi...
*Lovely*
this is insulting... :(
hahaha....
18 Dec 2009 7pm Vibes Comm Christmas Party @ East Coast Timbre Mobile.
A place that will make people fall in love with, a place that will make people wonder what if it rains, a place that you will bring your loved one to dine-in, a place that you will want to date at.
I was totally amazed when i first step into the place. Ya! everything is so mobile. Tmbre Mobile what...kakaka :D... The live band stage, the mobile container, the kitchen, the tables and chairs, the lightings, the set up..everything just so amazing.. *Eyes rolling*
We set-up a table for presents and games gadgets. Then started to order our first drink of the night! Woohoo!!! free drinks for whole night long!! Yeah!!! *Lychee Martini, Apple Martini...*
Too bad, another group of colleagues stuck in office due to the LG ad. Poor thing! Well, bosses and ppl around kept calling them and rush them over. LOL... this is so family! *love*
Well, as usual. Marcus was the one who always say coming coming coming and still there. and Anderson, Bryon, Nurul & Johari shared one car. Bryon drove them here. Surprisingly, none wanted to share car with Marcus. Thats funny!!! Bryon win!
DT and few colleagues were talking about Marcus. Complaining how slow and slopy is he.. LOL! Then i act! They tot i was formally from Media Corp acting school. Muahahaha! True lor..He is damn slow lor. Everytime ask me to go meeting with him, if he dont rush me, i will take my own sweet time to settle my work. Once he cant wait any longer, he will get angry and throw tantrum. What a weirdo! Ppl cant be late but he can nuah! Wat the.... *Turn off*. Oh Well, DT says he is not a good husband! and haha Well, ppl out there, you know what you want lor hor...
Then some jst trying to make Anderson drunk. Haha boss hor very bad one lor..He told the whole world he cant drink, then everyone come & attack him straight away! hahahaha...poor Anderson!
Then picture picture! Cheers Cheers! Groom *Ian* & Bride *Fiona* went around toasting. Adrian, the most si wen guy, say he cant drink too much of beer, he will get diarroea. Then Migz kept asking him to drink and guess what he say " Later I LS in my pants you help me to wipe?" then we all LOLOLOLOLOL! Adrian in the office will never be so un-glam! hahaha...There you go! *Wink* Wolf will show its true color once the moon is bright up high. *Laugh*
The pizza, food, desserts all - *slurp* *Yummy*!!!! I want to go again!!! i want to have their pizza again~ 30% of food, 50% drinks 20% laughter filled up my tummy for the night. So full!
Oh oh! come bek to the 22, 19 and 28 number thingy. Melvin is 22, he is gay and he has a bf who is 20. And he saw this blue shirt guy who was celebrating his fren's birthday over at the other side. He says he is cute and he thinks he is straight. Pearlyn also think he is straight. Well, Shu Min thought so too. For me, i have no comment. Coz I was not interested (haha more like i dont know how to see coz it's not obvious enuf) and I didnt really notice which one until........
DT sat down infront of us and offer to walk over and tell the blue shirt guy about Melvin likes him and Shu Min and me want to know him. Then I keep pushing Melvin to do and make friend. He is so young! Damn! He told us his current bf only together for 6 months. and this is the longest! haha JS say yalor..time to change edi since this is the longest you claim..LOL bad sia this boss!
Then DT walked over and pull the guy! OMG!!!! Melvin panic and he started to hold Shu Min tightly. Partyly he is high, and she has to help taking care of him.. Then DT help to intro intro then I quickly walk away... OMG! This is too much for me.. *scary*
Party continued with live band! They all started to sing and dacing around.. Drink and smoke and scream and picture!!!!
Ended up the group came aft 10pm..By then we already cool down and half done. Those aunties, uncles who have families all gone. Left the single ladies and boys and men around. Share cab home or hubby fetch or ...... Dont know how and when they actually disappeared. Then ended up, Marcus sent me home.. Yeah! free transport! He just cant stand the noisy'ness of the rest of the colleagues and go home see his other half.. LOL..
Well, i enjoyed myself ! guess i have no more reputation liao! hahaha
Looking forward for more parties and next year bonuses and company trip!!
then i can settle down my life edi...
*Lovely*
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Suddenly so many things to settle.
Christmas is near at the corner. Rushing out Xmas gift to clients and rushing to close 2009 jobs and billings. Work aside, i need to prepare gift for new year. Ya, you got it right. New Year. Not CNY Not Xmas Not Valentine's day Not any Anniversary but New Year!
Erm.. how should I say.. This might not be a meaningful gift. erm..no no.. should say, this is meaningful gift but has no meaning for that particular day. Yea!
Serve as a remembrance or souvenir or something worth keeping. Erm.. doubt for the last choice though.. haha coz only me like it that way. not sure if 'he' likes it. anyway, 2 more weeks to go and everything will be different and total brand new.
Kinda sad to say good by to 2009. Maybe I jst had too much of fun since 2008, and sad to say 2009 isnt any better than 2008. I missed 2008 alot. I had most fun during 2008.
Well, we fell, we know the pain, we cry, we wake up then realize what is all life about.
So long 2009 and hope 2010 will be much better. I have drafted out my 2010 plan, hope i can fulfill them all. (keep my fingers crossed tight tight).
Time to get back to my gift. Farewell 2009 and Hellow 2010!
*lovely*
Christmas is near at the corner. Rushing out Xmas gift to clients and rushing to close 2009 jobs and billings. Work aside, i need to prepare gift for new year. Ya, you got it right. New Year. Not CNY Not Xmas Not Valentine's day Not any Anniversary but New Year!
Erm.. how should I say.. This might not be a meaningful gift. erm..no no.. should say, this is meaningful gift but has no meaning for that particular day. Yea!
Serve as a remembrance or souvenir or something worth keeping. Erm.. doubt for the last choice though.. haha coz only me like it that way. not sure if 'he' likes it. anyway, 2 more weeks to go and everything will be different and total brand new.
Kinda sad to say good by to 2009. Maybe I jst had too much of fun since 2008, and sad to say 2009 isnt any better than 2008. I missed 2008 alot. I had most fun during 2008.
Well, we fell, we know the pain, we cry, we wake up then realize what is all life about.
So long 2009 and hope 2010 will be much better. I have drafted out my 2010 plan, hope i can fulfill them all. (keep my fingers crossed tight tight).
Time to get back to my gift. Farewell 2009 and Hellow 2010!
*lovely*
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Happy One month anniversay!!!
yeah!!! *heartaching*
Time flies to fast. One month edi since I moved out.
Time to do a simple - One month review:
- Time spent on the phone talking?
* Not more than 10 hours
- Time spent on SMS?
* Not more than 80 sms
- Time met together?
* Not more than 1 hour
Conclusion: What is this? Grade E - Worse than a stranger.
How can we improve our r/s like this? Teach me, enlighten me please.
If you dont tell me what you doing, and I keep pushing, then do you still think that this will work out well?
Teach me and enlighten me again please.
No way of saying: No choice, i just got to live with it. No way of saying: What can I do? He is like this already.
We are all grown up adult. No more kids. If we keep on living in this life style, we will grow old faster and get more phobia. i try my best to text you whatever I do and wherever i go, but what about u? Is that how you want your partner to treat you? Tell me & enlighten me... I am clueless and I seriously dont know what to do.
yeah!!! *heartaching*
Time flies to fast. One month edi since I moved out.
Time to do a simple - One month review:
- Time spent on the phone talking?
* Not more than 10 hours
- Time spent on SMS?
* Not more than 80 sms
- Time met together?
* Not more than 1 hour
Conclusion: What is this? Grade E - Worse than a stranger.
How can we improve our r/s like this? Teach me, enlighten me please.
If you dont tell me what you doing, and I keep pushing, then do you still think that this will work out well?
Teach me and enlighten me again please.
No way of saying: No choice, i just got to live with it. No way of saying: What can I do? He is like this already.
We are all grown up adult. No more kids. If we keep on living in this life style, we will grow old faster and get more phobia. i try my best to text you whatever I do and wherever i go, but what about u? Is that how you want your partner to treat you? Tell me & enlighten me... I am clueless and I seriously dont know what to do.
We are talking about INITIATIVE & HEART
One month we have 31 days and 31 days we have 744 hours and deducted off sleeping time 8hrs, we still have 496 hours. But what did we do with these 496 hrs? We have wasted most of it @ work and some other nonsense. If this is what/how you want from your partner to do to you, then alrite. I got it right now. I spent one month to try and give in and try to proof I am not an idiot and i think i can do better than my past. Which i was wrong. totally wrong!
I give myself support, hope, courage and time. I pamper myself and i tell myself, if i dun love myself, how could i love you. I ease my own fear, phobia and problems. I tot this way i could atleast make you feel burdenless. Then you can concentrate in your career. Being someone understanding is not easy, having constant hope in a r/s is much harder.
TRUST is in the air
I dont care what other ppl think and commented about you. Well, your action dont really proof to me anything though. I insisted to believe in you. Well, I hope you are clear of what you want now.
Extraordinary & Specialty
Yes, we had lots happy time together and we have build up lots of fun interesting hobbies together which i think you are awesome & someone so special to me. I feel sad whenever i pass by the toy shops or what we used to do together and try to give each other suprises. We celebrate odd days. If you celebrate this month anniversary, I will do random arrangement. Even thats jst a normal day, we will pamper ourselves with nice food or fun toy or happy movie.
We are weird but fun. This makes me sad. I guess there are things we can never change or overcome. Such as my stubborness and your timing problem. I always think, if you love that person, you will do whatever it takes to be there as soon as possible. You will want to be the first one to know everything. You will want to impress and stand by the person and be the only final one. I think im such hopeless person to u. anyway....
Farewell 2009
Thank you for giving me such sweet memorable time, spending all these while with me. For this anniversary, I have done up something, since during your birthday (we, with the kids, didnt even have opportunity to pass you the gift) you were busy with your colleagues celebrating in office, so I decided to give you something for 2009. You can use it, you can throw it away, you can hide it, you can do what you like with it. Will try to give you by before 31 Dec 2009, it wont take long to pass you thing. Less than 10seconds. So long 2009!
*lovely*
I love you!
I love you are who you are
i love you as you will be
I love you because there's this little part
(My heart)
that tells me that
You and I
simply meant to be.
Today morning till now feeling uneasy. My heart feels weird. Something just not right. Wonder what gonna happen again...
Today Andy Goh the printer came to find me. Supposed yesterday he text me say wan to have lunch with me. Find me either for more biz or invite me to attend talk. i was out with boss and told him no. Coz i had full day plan for my clients.
Then he pushed to today. OMG! i went out and i totally forgotten abt this lunch appointment. He says he wanted to pass me a book, therefore i go. i ask anderson to go with me, fiona and kenneth. Coz that 2 man know him and i have fiona as my lunch kaki.. Everyone happy then I relieve.
Then ended up only me and him had lunch over amoy st hawker. Super duper crowded and i hated it so much. We had a quick lunch with those strangers beside us. I scolded him becoz of the JCC project, the golf balls missing from the FA. Got to know he and the printer we are currently working merged. they will supply man power for installation while the main boss, wilson, will do the printing.
OH Gosh! from then on i started to bombard him kaokao.. Coz he supply man power for installation and the 3 installations i have now and past weeks all screwed up! what the hell happening now?!! Can someone explain to me what went wrong?
Now i know! They supply man power and their man power suck!!! Go suck their own thumb! my client ask me to go down to see asap and told me off over the phone. But of cos they were nice enough to ask me to re-do everything and Anderson is smart enough to ask them compensate the whole production. Good job Anderson!
Overall, i jst hate talking to Andy. i dont know his real intention. All i know is he is super duper irritating and i feel like kicking him on his face. And after lunch he walked me back to office. And DT was having his smoking brk. Then from far, he say, eh! nicole! your bf arr?!! I was like WTF u!!! U blind or deaf? or the smoke gets in your eyes? IF the world only left with one man, it can never ever be him! I rather die than having him as my bf! F me man!
then i told DT, hey, ppl got wife and kids. you pls hor... then he replied, wat's wrong with tat and y? Hello DT, nothing is wrong with that to you but that is super duber wrong to me! Firstly, if u dun take him, then dun throw to me. Secondly, i edi have someone and I dont need another one for spare or for watsoever usage/need. Thirdly, he is your supplier not mine. So for wat i need him for? Tell me DT.. He laugh then i walked off.
He came here to pass me a book and the book is now sitting on the desk! He is jst trying to convince me how to think rich. Of coz i think rich, i everyday think like Obama.. But who cares?
DT pls! dont make me pai seh and dont want this kind of thinking and judgement. I hate being accused and i hate taking this kind of nonsense! pls bear in mind for this. No more funny funny thing abt r/s. I love my boy and thats all! cleared and done!
Well, once more i will kick his face! and DT please dun abuse me with this kind of ppl. I thk i deserve someone better. much much better definately!
Another brand new day with more fun stuffs again...
Lovely! woohooo!!!
I love you are who you are
i love you as you will be
I love you because there's this little part
(My heart)
that tells me that
You and I
simply meant to be.
Today morning till now feeling uneasy. My heart feels weird. Something just not right. Wonder what gonna happen again...
Today Andy Goh the printer came to find me. Supposed yesterday he text me say wan to have lunch with me. Find me either for more biz or invite me to attend talk. i was out with boss and told him no. Coz i had full day plan for my clients.
Then he pushed to today. OMG! i went out and i totally forgotten abt this lunch appointment. He says he wanted to pass me a book, therefore i go. i ask anderson to go with me, fiona and kenneth. Coz that 2 man know him and i have fiona as my lunch kaki.. Everyone happy then I relieve.
Then ended up only me and him had lunch over amoy st hawker. Super duper crowded and i hated it so much. We had a quick lunch with those strangers beside us. I scolded him becoz of the JCC project, the golf balls missing from the FA. Got to know he and the printer we are currently working merged. they will supply man power for installation while the main boss, wilson, will do the printing.
OH Gosh! from then on i started to bombard him kaokao.. Coz he supply man power for installation and the 3 installations i have now and past weeks all screwed up! what the hell happening now?!! Can someone explain to me what went wrong?
Now i know! They supply man power and their man power suck!!! Go suck their own thumb! my client ask me to go down to see asap and told me off over the phone. But of cos they were nice enough to ask me to re-do everything and Anderson is smart enough to ask them compensate the whole production. Good job Anderson!
Overall, i jst hate talking to Andy. i dont know his real intention. All i know is he is super duper irritating and i feel like kicking him on his face. And after lunch he walked me back to office. And DT was having his smoking brk. Then from far, he say, eh! nicole! your bf arr?!! I was like WTF u!!! U blind or deaf? or the smoke gets in your eyes? IF the world only left with one man, it can never ever be him! I rather die than having him as my bf! F me man!
then i told DT, hey, ppl got wife and kids. you pls hor... then he replied, wat's wrong with tat and y? Hello DT, nothing is wrong with that to you but that is super duber wrong to me! Firstly, if u dun take him, then dun throw to me. Secondly, i edi have someone and I dont need another one for spare or for watsoever usage/need. Thirdly, he is your supplier not mine. So for wat i need him for? Tell me DT.. He laugh then i walked off.
He came here to pass me a book and the book is now sitting on the desk! He is jst trying to convince me how to think rich. Of coz i think rich, i everyday think like Obama.. But who cares?
DT pls! dont make me pai seh and dont want this kind of thinking and judgement. I hate being accused and i hate taking this kind of nonsense! pls bear in mind for this. No more funny funny thing abt r/s. I love my boy and thats all! cleared and done!
Well, once more i will kick his face! and DT please dun abuse me with this kind of ppl. I thk i deserve someone better. much much better definately!
Another brand new day with more fun stuffs again...
Lovely! woohooo!!!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
A happy day!
Hubby to see me! woohoo! *opps..sorry im too thick face to call him my hubby, which he is not yet. but i edi treat him like one since long ago.*
Anyway, I cried last nite when he called me. Cried becoz...shhh..... my nose bleed..and my head was super pain until my tears started flowing aft awhile. A moment later i noticed my tissue was in red. Then i started to panic, thought what went wrong.
Well, if i dont tell, no one will know. So no one will worry about me. Therefore, no one will scold me or ask me to take good care of myself and one lesser thing to worry about in life. Thats what hubby says.
Today Adrian and Darlene was talking about diamond ring and some topic. Then out of a sudden adrian was asking if im engaged, my fb put that status. then i was like erm... not sure leh..Like im the only one thk im engaged.(Malu). Then i text hubby to ask if I can put in our pic as profile pic. But he needs to check first. Anyway, Adrian is a married man who doesnt look like his age. The main thing is, can we have open r/s in fb? i didnt even dare to put up anything in your fb. I scared hubby get angry.
Well, hubby came last nite and we talk and hug and kiss. Finaly after (2 days before 1 month) so long. And my mom worried about me staying at my aunt's place. Every single little thing she worried coz my uncle's incident. Since after he passed away, everyone at home got traumatized. If she cant get me, she will paranoid and worried the whole day.
Not only work, family and hubby..everything just make me tense up.. This is why my migraine is back. Hubby continues to punish me, he sounded like dont wan me to tell ppl ard abt us. I am not sure but i know i nv want an imaginary hubby/bf. i just want to know why and what's in his mind. I dont want to make him abgry again. i have low self confidence and i have to deal with my own fear and yet i have to juggle all the problems i have. God! please help!
I have learnt my mistake, i know whats the prob and i know how to deal with it. but fact is, he is not willing to open up. everyone thinks we are no more together, his colleague is his new gf. Then wat about me still calling him hubby and treating him like one? *sob sob* Really no idea what to do next.
i do not how far they have been. how often they talk and how frequent they texting each other. All i know is, i have limited space to play with. I am afraid to know the fact they are together, which he insisted they are just close friend. Well, i trust him for whatever he says, coz r/s is all about trust. Notice everytime i send him msg, he say will cal me but ended nothing. I msg him and tell him our prob, try to make a step closer, but cant seems to work out well. Sign..when will all these end and when can we have a better life?
Moving forward, i slept very well last nite. It did help! Yes! YES! YES!!! but how long can that last? None knows. I sincerely hope we can go bek to the very first year and i wish i could turn back the time and i could change the whole situation.
He is having prob with his career, i hope to help. I respect and stand by him for whatever decision he has made. He wants to buy car, i will save. So that incase he didnt get his salary, we will still have savings.
I have booked next year trips, planning for diving courses in April-May. Shall start my lesson soon in Feb aft CNY. Then will go mid year holiday for either diving or sightseeing. then year end will be our honeymoon holiday. A 21days open ticket to 5-6 places. WOW! Sounded so nice! Oh Well, all cancelled.
NVM, all i want is patch back the r/s and make sure everything is well done agn then will proceed for the holiday planning. Feb I will be going bek home for CNY, i m hoping he can come with me. Coz i hope to show him what is his stand and his priority.
Am not sure if he will come...
Anyway, time to go to bed. Tomoro will have another long day to go. Averagely 3 meetings aday and friday will be out company xmas party. Hope someone can arrange to send me home if happen i drink. And sat morning will go for swim again.... Hope my migraine better soon.
All the best and hope he will be more open to share...
*love you hubby, no matter what. *
Hubby to see me! woohoo! *opps..sorry im too thick face to call him my hubby, which he is not yet. but i edi treat him like one since long ago.*
Anyway, I cried last nite when he called me. Cried becoz...shhh..... my nose bleed..and my head was super pain until my tears started flowing aft awhile. A moment later i noticed my tissue was in red. Then i started to panic, thought what went wrong.
Well, if i dont tell, no one will know. So no one will worry about me. Therefore, no one will scold me or ask me to take good care of myself and one lesser thing to worry about in life. Thats what hubby says.
Today Adrian and Darlene was talking about diamond ring and some topic. Then out of a sudden adrian was asking if im engaged, my fb put that status. then i was like erm... not sure leh..Like im the only one thk im engaged.(Malu). Then i text hubby to ask if I can put in our pic as profile pic. But he needs to check first. Anyway, Adrian is a married man who doesnt look like his age. The main thing is, can we have open r/s in fb? i didnt even dare to put up anything in your fb. I scared hubby get angry.
Well, hubby came last nite and we talk and hug and kiss. Finaly after (2 days before 1 month) so long. And my mom worried about me staying at my aunt's place. Every single little thing she worried coz my uncle's incident. Since after he passed away, everyone at home got traumatized. If she cant get me, she will paranoid and worried the whole day.
Not only work, family and hubby..everything just make me tense up.. This is why my migraine is back. Hubby continues to punish me, he sounded like dont wan me to tell ppl ard abt us. I am not sure but i know i nv want an imaginary hubby/bf. i just want to know why and what's in his mind. I dont want to make him abgry again. i have low self confidence and i have to deal with my own fear and yet i have to juggle all the problems i have. God! please help!
I have learnt my mistake, i know whats the prob and i know how to deal with it. but fact is, he is not willing to open up. everyone thinks we are no more together, his colleague is his new gf. Then wat about me still calling him hubby and treating him like one? *sob sob* Really no idea what to do next.
i do not how far they have been. how often they talk and how frequent they texting each other. All i know is, i have limited space to play with. I am afraid to know the fact they are together, which he insisted they are just close friend. Well, i trust him for whatever he says, coz r/s is all about trust. Notice everytime i send him msg, he say will cal me but ended nothing. I msg him and tell him our prob, try to make a step closer, but cant seems to work out well. Sign..when will all these end and when can we have a better life?
Moving forward, i slept very well last nite. It did help! Yes! YES! YES!!! but how long can that last? None knows. I sincerely hope we can go bek to the very first year and i wish i could turn back the time and i could change the whole situation.
He is having prob with his career, i hope to help. I respect and stand by him for whatever decision he has made. He wants to buy car, i will save. So that incase he didnt get his salary, we will still have savings.
I have booked next year trips, planning for diving courses in April-May. Shall start my lesson soon in Feb aft CNY. Then will go mid year holiday for either diving or sightseeing. then year end will be our honeymoon holiday. A 21days open ticket to 5-6 places. WOW! Sounded so nice! Oh Well, all cancelled.
NVM, all i want is patch back the r/s and make sure everything is well done agn then will proceed for the holiday planning. Feb I will be going bek home for CNY, i m hoping he can come with me. Coz i hope to show him what is his stand and his priority.
Am not sure if he will come...
Anyway, time to go to bed. Tomoro will have another long day to go. Averagely 3 meetings aday and friday will be out company xmas party. Hope someone can arrange to send me home if happen i drink. And sat morning will go for swim again.... Hope my migraine better soon.
All the best and hope he will be more open to share...
*love you hubby, no matter what. *
Monday, December 14, 2009
I am in-love with my blog again...
Since a year ago i stopped blogging. due to, tons of reason,same shit different day, work work work. But since after your birthday and lots of hidden reason, out of no choice, i blog again.
Monday always the most sickening day to have for the week. Today surprisingly everything go smoothly. Other than the usual case kena questions till up side down, rushing boh liao jobs, gossips with nonsense, chasing dead deadlines etc nothing special. 7th week in office but feel like 7 years.
Went for production with Marcus and Anderson. Marcus still sick, he is with his 'sexy' voice now. Which i am super happy about it, coz he is so irritating. He jst cant talk to me properly, always must tease me to get things done. So hard to get him to talk and i got pissed when i talk to him after 10 seconds. Anderson as usual the bad temper man in the whole office, understand his job scope and nv blame him. Afterall, they are both 'good' man to chit chat with.
Fiona been bz the whole day, didnt really have chance to talk to her. She got put down by boss during the discussion. I told her she is doing fine and better than certain people. She was touched! haha In life, we need encouragement to move forward. She was there when i need someone to talk to. She was there to encourage me when i was being 'polished' by Anderson.
Time flies. Counting down to Thursday and I shall call for a 1 month celebration. Woohoo! One month without me! How do you feel? i am sad... Since the day i stepped out from the house.
I dont want to presure you. I am putting in effort to build things up and right and i just hope you can take action too. provided if you still want this to happen.
You dont bring me to meet your friends, (u say u jst want to be alone)
you put single in your status, (coz someone change yr status)
you change all your password, (coz u suspect ppl use yr password)
you drift away from me, (u are just too bz)
you hardly text or call me, (u tired and u got lots to do)
we nv meet, (u want to be alone or rest)
we hardly talk, (u ran out of credit)
when i tell u wat i dont like (u ask me to respect it)
i tell u i jealous (u say wat can u do)....
So when i do that to you and you will say FINE!! u want to play like this rite? Throw tantrum! So me how?
I asked you if i shld give up, and you say up to me...
You know this is not what I want to hear and this is not what i want to know and this is not what i expect from you. i never want to ask too much from you coz i am the one who failed you at first.
but all i am asking is such simple thing, your answer, your action.
I dont know how much more time i have left. I just want to do what I want before it is too late. Forgive me if i push you too hard... forgive me for all the stupid things i have done.. Forgive me for being stupid...
I watched "Couple retreat". I think I understand the whole story very well. Talk to my mom abt behaving in r/s. and I feel i have grown up alot. Atleast mature enuf to make me understand r/s has no right or wrong, give until it hurts coz real love hurts, dont take things for granted and be more open in sharing. There is no I or You but US, WE, OUR...
Love is something so magical. Love is hunger, you thrist for it. Love can make someone cut his own wrist or jump from 17th floor. Love can make you laugh and love can make you scream too. Love is amazing after all.
So share me your love..... & I shall love you in return.. I am still waiting for your return. Love ya.
Since a year ago i stopped blogging. due to, tons of reason,same shit different day, work work work. But since after your birthday and lots of hidden reason, out of no choice, i blog again.
Monday always the most sickening day to have for the week. Today surprisingly everything go smoothly. Other than the usual case kena questions till up side down, rushing boh liao jobs, gossips with nonsense, chasing dead deadlines etc nothing special. 7th week in office but feel like 7 years.
Went for production with Marcus and Anderson. Marcus still sick, he is with his 'sexy' voice now. Which i am super happy about it, coz he is so irritating. He jst cant talk to me properly, always must tease me to get things done. So hard to get him to talk and i got pissed when i talk to him after 10 seconds. Anderson as usual the bad temper man in the whole office, understand his job scope and nv blame him. Afterall, they are both 'good' man to chit chat with.
Fiona been bz the whole day, didnt really have chance to talk to her. She got put down by boss during the discussion. I told her she is doing fine and better than certain people. She was touched! haha In life, we need encouragement to move forward. She was there when i need someone to talk to. She was there to encourage me when i was being 'polished' by Anderson.
Time flies. Counting down to Thursday and I shall call for a 1 month celebration. Woohoo! One month without me! How do you feel? i am sad... Since the day i stepped out from the house.
I dont want to presure you. I am putting in effort to build things up and right and i just hope you can take action too. provided if you still want this to happen.
You dont bring me to meet your friends, (u say u jst want to be alone)
you put single in your status, (coz someone change yr status)
you change all your password, (coz u suspect ppl use yr password)
you drift away from me, (u are just too bz)
you hardly text or call me, (u tired and u got lots to do)
we nv meet, (u want to be alone or rest)
we hardly talk, (u ran out of credit)
when i tell u wat i dont like (u ask me to respect it)
i tell u i jealous (u say wat can u do)....
So when i do that to you and you will say FINE!! u want to play like this rite? Throw tantrum! So me how?
I asked you if i shld give up, and you say up to me...
You know this is not what I want to hear and this is not what i want to know and this is not what i expect from you. i never want to ask too much from you coz i am the one who failed you at first.
but all i am asking is such simple thing, your answer, your action.
I dont know how much more time i have left. I just want to do what I want before it is too late. Forgive me if i push you too hard... forgive me for all the stupid things i have done.. Forgive me for being stupid...
I watched "Couple retreat". I think I understand the whole story very well. Talk to my mom abt behaving in r/s. and I feel i have grown up alot. Atleast mature enuf to make me understand r/s has no right or wrong, give until it hurts coz real love hurts, dont take things for granted and be more open in sharing. There is no I or You but US, WE, OUR...
Love is something so magical. Love is hunger, you thrist for it. Love can make someone cut his own wrist or jump from 17th floor. Love can make you laugh and love can make you scream too. Love is amazing after all.
So share me your love..... & I shall love you in return.. I am still waiting for your return. Love ya.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Here we are!! Daddy!! Can you spot us??
This is awesome!!! Mama did it!
Look! MCC is still dreaming! Girapoo acts guai... Bear bear still the same, kena bully all the time. Sirotan looks older. Coz he has to take care of everyone when mama not around. Duckie the big kid behind. LPP, arh...so loving still. Look! She is holding MCC's hand even he is still zzzz....
We are a one big flat family!!
smooooooch... from all of us.
Friday, December 11, 2009
New Year Resolution 2010
part 2
The past:
1- Pick up the unhappy things and learn it thru
2- Dont look backwards, future is more crucial
3- Change the world. Make it your way
Now:
1- Rich Tai-Tai ( I still want to marry you and the bunch of kids still miss you)
2- Stable career
3- Settle down have our own house
For Nic fom Nic:
1- Build up confident in r/s
2- Dont be stuborn
3- Know the priority
4- Be supportive and encouraging
5- Be straight forward and never be ashame to share
For Gab from Nic:
1- Be more open
2- Dont give up easily
3- Quit bad habit (smoke and timing)
4- Be more responsible for future bulding
5- Do not roar and be more gentle
A passionate person fueled by love is a force that no one can defeat. If you do still passinate over this r/s, please follw the instruction below:
A) NO, Let's get our own life.
Please close the window. Thank you for your visit and Have a great 2010 ahead.
B) Yes, I have hope & show me something.
Please scroll down and see what you would expect to receive from me.
"Simple let you 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No' be 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the eveil one"
Part 1: Expectation - Seeing is believing
1- Low confident
I love to tell the whole world about you and me. Coz im proud to have you! I care about your existence. People love to see us bloom.
Solution: Action speaks louder. Let me show you how it works. Yes? Yes? Secret ingredient!
2- Careless personality
I have short term memory. But this time I will make sure I will change.
Solution: Constant reminder and practise make my memory bigger & stronger. Action speaks louder. I will act fast, so you wont clap with one hand.
3- King Size VS Our own space
I know I neglected your feeling. I am sorry. Mama understands how i feel coz we talk thru it. U are the true love.
Solution: I wont force you to go family trip (king size space). But I do hope you will try to attend family event with me. Respect them and I hope you can be part of the family close to them. Let them know I can rely on you. I will stand by you, my king. Family outing i make sure we will have our own space. Not outsider allowed! *Who lets the dog out! woof woof*
4- Connection with truth - Respect your privacy
I know you need your own space to breath. Let me build up your confident again and I hope by then you will give more in return. When timing is good, things fall in place by itself.
Solution: You will have your freedom. Please inform me your plan so I wont disturb you. I will get somethg to do. But make sure you are safe.
5- Money and Career
I know you have unstable career for now and you hope to build that up and the fulfillment is what you are looking for. Go ahead! I back you up! But no more relying on your parent. I dislike that feeling. You have me!! Encourage one another and build each other up.
Solution: I will work hard and save money. Incase you need money and we can still afford to have good meal sometimes. We work together! I will get more freelance to get more money. But I will make sure I rest enough and eat well.
6- Worries & Tension
I know you constanly worry about me. I felt that way too. I know how you feel now and it is just restless and too much too handle.
Solution: I will not do anything that cause you uneasy. I will make sure I balance everytning out and make sure you know my plan before even proceeding them. This is mutual respect and make sure everything is safe. As you know my parent worry about me being alone here and dont know how to take care of myself.
7- Support and courage
No more emo or dull mood. If you want to do, I will back you up and support you all the way. Respect you as a man and know you can take care of everything.
Solution: No matter good or bad outcome, no regret no complain. Take everything in life a learning path. Being supportive and encouraging will make you feel least presure.
8- Last but not least - Principle
Our hearts are to be open to each other. How do I want you to treat me, in return, I must do it first!
Solution: My friends. I make sure you know all of them. (part of the confidence building). They do have names and yes and I will tell you who they are. I will treat you well, coz i need someone to treat me well too. I will not be ashame to tell you things, how much I love you, if i jealous, if i feel uneasy and be more open for ideas.
What I want and need:
1- Respond -Confrontation serves as a wake up call. if you dont respond and take action, we can only stay in sms. I feel cold. If you are not ready or I would love to hear from you about what you wish to have from me. I sincerely love to know that. It will serves as part of motivation.
2- Support - really need your support in moving forward. Hope we can go a level up and physical and mentally support is crucial to me.
3- Courage - in order for me to bring you more confidence, I need courage. I still feel weak and without your acknowledgement, i have no direction and i do not know what you are thinking. I am lost! Totally helpless.
4- Assurance - I hope after everything you will not be hesitate to give. I would love and appreciate that.
5- Understanding - I have my fear in this r/s. but I hope you will give and continue to be supportive. Need your constant understanding to help to build a better me and our future together. I will heal my wound until yours are healed and settled.
"Give until it hurts, coz real love hurts"
What if i failed to delivery again?
1- I will give up whatever in Singapore and leave after next year.
2- You can have all the kids with you. So that I wont malu each one of you.
part 2
The past:
1- Pick up the unhappy things and learn it thru
2- Dont look backwards, future is more crucial
3- Change the world. Make it your way
Now:
1- Rich Tai-Tai ( I still want to marry you and the bunch of kids still miss you)
2- Stable career
3- Settle down have our own house
For Nic fom Nic:
1- Build up confident in r/s
2- Dont be stuborn
3- Know the priority
4- Be supportive and encouraging
5- Be straight forward and never be ashame to share
For Gab from Nic:
1- Be more open
2- Dont give up easily
3- Quit bad habit (smoke and timing)
4- Be more responsible for future bulding
5- Do not roar and be more gentle
A passionate person fueled by love is a force that no one can defeat. If you do still passinate over this r/s, please follw the instruction below:
A) NO, Let's get our own life.
Please close the window. Thank you for your visit and Have a great 2010 ahead.
B) Yes, I have hope & show me something.
Please scroll down and see what you would expect to receive from me.
"Simple let you 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No' be 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the eveil one"
Part 1: Expectation - Seeing is believing
1- Low confident
I love to tell the whole world about you and me. Coz im proud to have you! I care about your existence. People love to see us bloom.
Solution: Action speaks louder. Let me show you how it works. Yes? Yes? Secret ingredient!
2- Careless personality
I have short term memory. But this time I will make sure I will change.
Solution: Constant reminder and practise make my memory bigger & stronger. Action speaks louder. I will act fast, so you wont clap with one hand.
3- King Size VS Our own space
I know I neglected your feeling. I am sorry. Mama understands how i feel coz we talk thru it. U are the true love.
Solution: I wont force you to go family trip (king size space). But I do hope you will try to attend family event with me. Respect them and I hope you can be part of the family close to them. Let them know I can rely on you. I will stand by you, my king. Family outing i make sure we will have our own space. Not outsider allowed! *Who lets the dog out! woof woof*
4- Connection with truth - Respect your privacy
I know you need your own space to breath. Let me build up your confident again and I hope by then you will give more in return. When timing is good, things fall in place by itself.
Solution: You will have your freedom. Please inform me your plan so I wont disturb you. I will get somethg to do. But make sure you are safe.
5- Money and Career
I know you have unstable career for now and you hope to build that up and the fulfillment is what you are looking for. Go ahead! I back you up! But no more relying on your parent. I dislike that feeling. You have me!! Encourage one another and build each other up.
Solution: I will work hard and save money. Incase you need money and we can still afford to have good meal sometimes. We work together! I will get more freelance to get more money. But I will make sure I rest enough and eat well.
6- Worries & Tension
I know you constanly worry about me. I felt that way too. I know how you feel now and it is just restless and too much too handle.
Solution: I will not do anything that cause you uneasy. I will make sure I balance everytning out and make sure you know my plan before even proceeding them. This is mutual respect and make sure everything is safe. As you know my parent worry about me being alone here and dont know how to take care of myself.
7- Support and courage
No more emo or dull mood. If you want to do, I will back you up and support you all the way. Respect you as a man and know you can take care of everything.
Solution: No matter good or bad outcome, no regret no complain. Take everything in life a learning path. Being supportive and encouraging will make you feel least presure.
8- Last but not least - Principle
Our hearts are to be open to each other. How do I want you to treat me, in return, I must do it first!
Solution: My friends. I make sure you know all of them. (part of the confidence building). They do have names and yes and I will tell you who they are. I will treat you well, coz i need someone to treat me well too. I will not be ashame to tell you things, how much I love you, if i jealous, if i feel uneasy and be more open for ideas.
Unchecked: Disconnection, defensiveness, control, immaturity, and selfishness. they have the power to infect an entire r/s, they can harm or even end a connection.
What I want and need:
1- Respond -Confrontation serves as a wake up call. if you dont respond and take action, we can only stay in sms. I feel cold. If you are not ready or I would love to hear from you about what you wish to have from me. I sincerely love to know that. It will serves as part of motivation.
2- Support - really need your support in moving forward. Hope we can go a level up and physical and mentally support is crucial to me.
3- Courage - in order for me to bring you more confidence, I need courage. I still feel weak and without your acknowledgement, i have no direction and i do not know what you are thinking. I am lost! Totally helpless.
4- Assurance - I hope after everything you will not be hesitate to give. I would love and appreciate that.
5- Understanding - I have my fear in this r/s. but I hope you will give and continue to be supportive. Need your constant understanding to help to build a better me and our future together. I will heal my wound until yours are healed and settled.
"Give until it hurts, coz real love hurts"
What if i failed to delivery again?
1- I will give up whatever in Singapore and leave after next year.
2- You can have all the kids with you. So that I wont malu each one of you.
NEW YEAR RESOLUTION 2010
part 1
2009 review:
From Nic to Gab.
For her:
1- Be more caring & loving
For him:
1- No more lighters. Quit smoking totally
Penalty: No baby with you
2- No more poker till late. Latest 12:30am must reach home sleep unless next day is holiday.
Penalty: If not ontime or never keep promise, then no more playing poker.
3- No more shouting or raise up voice. Be more patient and gentle
Penalty: Silence treatment for awhile
4- No more sleeping late. Latest 11pm must be on bed. Then next day get up and take bus to work.
Penalty: Cab fare double charge or worse I will move out.
* Any situation worst than the above, please bear all circumstances and cause incurred by yourself. Dont blame others.
Happy Things or Things I/You have learned:
1- Love is being stupid together. We had lots of fun having good food and exploring new places.
2- How to love. Love is something abstract. Love is gentle. Pampering is sweet.
3- How to be more patient and more gentle
4- How to share and not to be ashame of sharing
5- What is priority
6- Stand by the person whom you love no matter what. Deal with it behind the scene.
Sad Things or Things I hate to remember:
1- My uncle passed away! :'( that's hurt!
2- When you say you give up on me.
3- When you do/say nothing at all. I dont feel loved.
4- Travel alone.
5- Helpless and not supportive.
Things to be changed & improved:
1- How to share and confront yet without anger or hate
2- Never beat around the bush, straight to the point
3- Stand by you and be more caring
4- Remember my weaknesses and promote change
5- Be more loving and lovely (that's my name!)
part 1
2009 review:
From Nic to Gab.
For her:
1- Be more caring & loving
For him:
1- No more lighters. Quit smoking totally
Penalty: No baby with you
2- No more poker till late. Latest 12:30am must reach home sleep unless next day is holiday.
Penalty: If not ontime or never keep promise, then no more playing poker.
3- No more shouting or raise up voice. Be more patient and gentle
Penalty: Silence treatment for awhile
4- No more sleeping late. Latest 11pm must be on bed. Then next day get up and take bus to work.
Penalty: Cab fare double charge or worse I will move out.
* Any situation worst than the above, please bear all circumstances and cause incurred by yourself. Dont blame others.
Happy Things or Things I/You have learned:
1- Love is being stupid together. We had lots of fun having good food and exploring new places.
2- How to love. Love is something abstract. Love is gentle. Pampering is sweet.
3- How to be more patient and more gentle
4- How to share and not to be ashame of sharing
5- What is priority
6- Stand by the person whom you love no matter what. Deal with it behind the scene.
Sad Things or Things I hate to remember:
1- My uncle passed away! :'( that's hurt!
2- When you say you give up on me.
3- When you do/say nothing at all. I dont feel loved.
4- Travel alone.
5- Helpless and not supportive.
Things to be changed & improved:
1- How to share and confront yet without anger or hate
2- Never beat around the bush, straight to the point
3- Stand by you and be more caring
4- Remember my weaknesses and promote change
5- Be more loving and lovely (that's my name!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!
*cheers* *claps* *whistles*
Let's celebrate!! Woohoo!!!
MCC: What? Where? When?
LPP: Is daddy back? hmmm.. *rubbing eyes* I didnt see him for awhile.
Sirotan: He is away now, mummy says. *miserable*
Girapoo: *jumps out from blanket* HUH? HUH? away? then will he buy us presents?
Bear Bear: *claps* I love presents and surprise!! Xmas is near too. Yes!!
Duckie: *Green eye* That's why MCC has that stupid thin tiny candy cane.. *stare*
Sirotan: So how? It's daddy's big day!!!!! woohoo!!! Where to? *rolling around the bed* Let's celebrate!!!
MCC: At home, ask daddy to cook.. *giggle*
LPP: I want swensens!!! *wink*
Duckie: I want mashed potato! Same color as my skin tone and as soft as me.. I don't mind to sit in the orange bag again. *rock* blairrrr...
Girapoo: I want to go east coast!! BBQ!!! Prawning! Fishing!!! I want to go out!!! *stomping legs*
Bear bear: *sigh* You forever! I want Paddington Pancake! I saw the pictures from mummy. I want pots of gold with ice-cream! *slurp*
LPP: I want to go Bangkok! I miss having big bed with mummy and daddy!! *sad* and other duckies in the bath tub too....
Sirotan: We already have something for daddy. But not sure if daddy will keep it. *frown* He don't want us anymore. *sobs*
Mummy: Hey babies! Daddy still misses you all! & badly! Let's take pictures and show to him okay? *hugs* Erm.... *pondering* Why not we go visit daddy tomoro? *wink wink*
Babies in group: *make noise* Woohoo!!!! yea! I want! I want! I want! *Girapoo pushes Bear bear & jump on Sirotan's head*
Girapoo: Can I stay with daddy? I miss sitting on his face and fart! *laugh out loud* muahahaha! then he will swing me up high in the air! *shiver* so scary!
Bear bear: *sad* Me too! I miss his pokie face!
Sirotan: Let's visit him! but are we too big to squeeze in the bag? too heavy to carry? Mummy, can we?
Mummy: What about you all stay over for awhile? Spend sometimes will daddy? Daddy needs you all around to support him and comfort him. *sobs* Let me ask daddy and bring you all over tomoro okay? Then you all keep him accompany awhile. & remember to bring the gift over.
Mummy: *Text* Hi! Special invitation: We would like to hang over @ your place for awhile. We promise not to mess up the place but to stay beside you and stay with you. We wanna celebrate your birthday with you coz we care and we would love to. Can we? from a bunch of rebellious kids.
Mummy: Alrite. We will wait for daddy's reply. Let see if he welcomes you all.. *laugh*. Let's go pack and get ready the gift. Tonite all of you gonna go on diet else wont be able to fit in the bag. *grin* then I can have all the snacks! woohoo!!
A note to daddy:
Girapoo: Yeah! dadddddy... I am coming! Gonna sit on your face and fart on your head! *grin* Bring me car ride? Swing me high? Comb my fur? Bring me buffet?
Bear Bear: I wanna hide under your face and sleep with you again, but make sure you don't drool on my body... *cover both eyes* no eye see.
Duckie: I want you to lie on me and rock! yea! Touch my soft fur and comb my fur again...*love* Bring me out with your orange bag again can?
MCC: Yiii!!! Then my candy cane how?? Later daddy sure hide it somewhere or anyhow hang on my neck or my tie... *:(* Bad daddy! *stomping feet*
LPP: Clean me up! I am grey now.. But don't keep slapping my face, it hurts. *Ouch* Bring me Bangkok again?
Sirotan: I miss you daddy! But don't press on me! *LAUGH* Mummy says I am going to have new clothes. Should I hang it on the christmas tree first and open it in boxing day? And are we going to decorate the christmas tree together and have it in the room?
Mummy: Happy Birthday to you! Thanks for having them in our life. I treasure them and I hope you will take care of them for few days. Arg! they are too noisy! they nag me more than I do now. I miss having you by my side and I am sorry for disappointing you. Alrite. Don't spoil the mood. Do let me know if you can keep them for few days. Have a happy big day!!! woohoo! *cheers*. Love you always!
*cheers* *claps* *whistles*
Let's celebrate!! Woohoo!!!
MCC: What? Where? When?
LPP: Is daddy back? hmmm.. *rubbing eyes* I didnt see him for awhile.
Sirotan: He is away now, mummy says. *miserable*
Girapoo: *jumps out from blanket* HUH? HUH? away? then will he buy us presents?
Bear Bear: *claps* I love presents and surprise!! Xmas is near too. Yes!!
Duckie: *Green eye* That's why MCC has that stupid thin tiny candy cane.. *stare*
Sirotan: So how? It's daddy's big day!!!!! woohoo!!! Where to? *rolling around the bed* Let's celebrate!!!
MCC: At home, ask daddy to cook.. *giggle*
LPP: I want swensens!!! *wink*
Duckie: I want mashed potato! Same color as my skin tone and as soft as me.. I don't mind to sit in the orange bag again. *rock* blairrrr...
Girapoo: I want to go east coast!! BBQ!!! Prawning! Fishing!!! I want to go out!!! *stomping legs*
Bear bear: *sigh* You forever! I want Paddington Pancake! I saw the pictures from mummy. I want pots of gold with ice-cream! *slurp*
LPP: I want to go Bangkok! I miss having big bed with mummy and daddy!! *sad* and other duckies in the bath tub too....
Sirotan: We already have something for daddy. But not sure if daddy will keep it. *frown* He don't want us anymore. *sobs*
Mummy: Hey babies! Daddy still misses you all! & badly! Let's take pictures and show to him okay? *hugs* Erm.... *pondering* Why not we go visit daddy tomoro? *wink wink*
Babies in group: *make noise* Woohoo!!!! yea! I want! I want! I want! *Girapoo pushes Bear bear & jump on Sirotan's head*
Girapoo: Can I stay with daddy? I miss sitting on his face and fart! *laugh out loud* muahahaha! then he will swing me up high in the air! *shiver* so scary!
Bear bear: *sad* Me too! I miss his pokie face!
Sirotan: Let's visit him! but are we too big to squeeze in the bag? too heavy to carry? Mummy, can we?
Mummy: What about you all stay over for awhile? Spend sometimes will daddy? Daddy needs you all around to support him and comfort him. *sobs* Let me ask daddy and bring you all over tomoro okay? Then you all keep him accompany awhile. & remember to bring the gift over.
Mummy: *Text* Hi! Special invitation: We would like to hang over @ your place for awhile. We promise not to mess up the place but to stay beside you and stay with you. We wanna celebrate your birthday with you coz we care and we would love to. Can we? from a bunch of rebellious kids.
Mummy: Alrite. We will wait for daddy's reply. Let see if he welcomes you all.. *laugh*. Let's go pack and get ready the gift. Tonite all of you gonna go on diet else wont be able to fit in the bag. *grin* then I can have all the snacks! woohoo!!
A note to daddy:
Girapoo: Yeah! dadddddy... I am coming! Gonna sit on your face and fart on your head! *grin* Bring me car ride? Swing me high? Comb my fur? Bring me buffet?
Bear Bear: I wanna hide under your face and sleep with you again, but make sure you don't drool on my body... *cover both eyes* no eye see.
Duckie: I want you to lie on me and rock! yea! Touch my soft fur and comb my fur again...*love* Bring me out with your orange bag again can?
MCC: Yiii!!! Then my candy cane how?? Later daddy sure hide it somewhere or anyhow hang on my neck or my tie... *:(* Bad daddy! *stomping feet*
LPP: Clean me up! I am grey now.. But don't keep slapping my face, it hurts. *Ouch* Bring me Bangkok again?
Sirotan: I miss you daddy! But don't press on me! *LAUGH* Mummy says I am going to have new clothes. Should I hang it on the christmas tree first and open it in boxing day? And are we going to decorate the christmas tree together and have it in the room?
Mummy: Happy Birthday to you! Thanks for having them in our life. I treasure them and I hope you will take care of them for few days. Arg! they are too noisy! they nag me more than I do now. I miss having you by my side and I am sorry for disappointing you. Alrite. Don't spoil the mood. Do let me know if you can keep them for few days. Have a happy big day!!! woohoo! *cheers*. Love you always!
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