I have to..
I open for options, always.
"Don't need to rush home.
Enjoy your reunion with your frens.
Today is just another day. Same shit different day."
"He texts you everyday. Basically report or update (better word) you everyday.
He misses the time when you were around sharing his happiness or sorrows with him.
He misses seeing you around in the office and hope to continue this kind of r/s"
I am gonna voice this out and release my tension in my heart.
This has been awhile. And I want to get rid of this thing.
No more spare room for my heart and brain. Need to clear some space.
I removed you from my mailing list because I think keeping you up-to-date from my blog is
not necessary. Don't think otherwise.
Blog will not run away or dilute. So whenever you feel like reading it, just log in.
I am not sure if I am jealous, envy or angry.
I wish you were a gay somehow and you can be with Rajiv.
I dream about you being upset because Rajiv was sad.
This is my nightmare.
Frankly, I don't mind to join bates but not with Rajiv around.
He is my nightmare.
He makes me feel so stupid, shame.
All because of your
stupidity.
I am not sure about exclusivity.
But seem to me I don't have.
And hello! if you are still thinking about you owe'g him alot, then please get him a better life.
Priority! we are talking about.
Hire him as your AE or what-so-ever that is available. (I think I mentioned this to you before)
Asking your other friends or ex colleagues to send in their resume are creating more competitors. This is not helping. Ya of coz, this is up to the management to pick.
Since you wanted to help them then go ahead. I am totally cool.
Even in FB. We dont used to commenting on each other page and pictures anymore.
Tagging you on my photos make me worry.
So I chose to ask permission, at least I respect your decision. Am ready for suggestion.
Dont worry. I am not angry.
I am not sure how much you trust me or how much I trust you.
I know we are not open enough to share and I am kinda get used to this treatment.
such as, checking on you, my new phone password, worry about alot of things, new office with new colleagues and see when you get close with another female colleague and make me suspect again etc.
I know you ask me to tell you whenever I feel anything not right.
Think about it, you are a smart person, you might have your 'reason'. So be it. Let it be natural.
You are who you are. I live with that.
No point for me to change you when I know it is
impossible.
I am not beating around the bush.
Tell me, have you ever considered about my feeling?
The moment you saw your friends in OC and you walk away.
Ya. You turn your head but you didn't do anything.
After awhile I felt like an idiot standing in the middle of no where. So I walked away.
Anyway, that's not what I want to say.
And I am not here to argue. I just want to tell this out and be straight to the point.
Again, being with you is happy.
But in long run, we need sustainability.
(Ponder what we used to do and share, and what about now. Any difference? Why. How)
I don't mind if your friends don't know about us.
Or you don't want to tell them or anything. I am totally acceptable.
(stop asking why I feel that way, coz your body language tells me so)
There are things I can't change but accommodate.
I hope you don't mind my colleagues know about you.
If that makes you not comfortable, tell me. (I believed I have mention this many times, but you are ok)
I want to kill men's hope. Stay away from me, you, you, you, men.
I hate this feeling....
How you treated me and your action make me feel so
no dignity.
You don't know.
You simply didnt aware what had happened and how badly was it to traumatize a person.
I try to stay happy everyday without having you pressurize.
After this second onwards, I will definitely be.
*phew*
Coz finally I am released!
No pressure.
Yeah*
~Govely~
