200th post

History.

This is the 200 post. I have just created a new history. *Cheers*
The history that will make me remember.
The history that make my blog no difference.

*History run through session.

The past 199 posts are well archived.
Flipping through the old pages make me feel happy. *Smile*
Feeling how silly they are, feeling how weird the writing, feeling how cheeky they can be,
feeling how 'mature' and 'fun' I was last time.
I wish I could pause the time and laugh at those old photos. *Laugh*
Oh well, history is meant to be kept under 'memory' folder.

Those who has seen my blog would comment I am happy and fun.
Some love to see my sign-off. I create new different lovely identity according to my blog content.
Should I stay as it is?

Should I be the same old 'Happy-go-lucky' girl?
Or I should be a tough independent 'stubborn and decisive' fierce woman?

Happy-go-luck:

carefree: cheerfully irresponsible; untroubled

So I can leave behind all the unsolved problem and keep walking or laugh it off. Well, 2 of them have commented my 'happy-go-lucky' attitude caused me 'take-it-easy' issue. I intend to sit on/ignore the problem when I'm unable to solve and think time will blend or solve the matter by itself. Soon or later, it might become a 'take-it-for-granted' attitude. or another word - ignorance.

or I should be
Stubborn and decisive:

- tenaciously unwilling or marked by tenacious unwillingness to yield, refusing to move or change one's opinion; obstinate

- characterized by decision and firmness, determining

I know what I want and I just want to get it done my way to make me feel good or at ease.
This might give people headache for no turning point or tolerance. Hard time and argument might occur. coz not all man can tolerate my stubbornness.

So how?
Or do I have third option?
Please suggest.
So that I can grow up and be more mature in dealing with matters.
As well, how to live with others such as you.

Whatever has gone by, all past. History!
No one is perfect in this world and what we after is happiness among ourselves.
Whatever happened in the past, none of us can change.
Live with it and move on is the common thing.
I am not angry about the 'history'. I am looking at solution and improvement.
If you are looking at now and future, we got to do something to kill the past.
Don't repeat, don't say, don't mention those are ignorance.

Oh my dear king,  thou shall advice me what I should do.

Speak to me my lord, your servant is ready.

Lead me and I shall please you.
Oh my king.

~whoislovely~

Helpless

KO.

I hate Friday.
Friday is scary now!
Friday was never like this.
Friday was at least a normal weekday where I usually will go off around the same time
and wait for you at the bus stop and go home together.
that's my normal Friday.

I am at home now.
And today is Friday.
*Yawn*

Anyway, today is a freaking Friday.
I suddenly feel so empty.
Empty with no direction.

What exactly is life all about?
Eat? Sleep? Play? Work? Money? Family? Baby? Friend? Arguement?
I am tired.

Whatever it is... Father's day is here soon!
What shall we have! erm erm.... *Wink*

Mysterovely~

Morning world!

Where has my heart gone?

I am having a f-up morning.
Now it is only 8:34am.
What is going to happen later at 10am?

What about 2pm? 4pm? 5pm?9pm?

This is scary! This is ridiculous!

•faintovely•

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Justified

Love is proved by not what you can give but what you can give up.

Smile to make your day brighter. Cry behind is to make better day for myself.

I'm hungry now, yet it is time to sleep. My gastric pain because I am upset. Not because I didn't eat. That's sad!

Good nite the world.
Welcome sweet dream.







Sweetovely~


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Life is sweet with juice

Today is a hectic day.

Morning we had a meeting about workflow procedures.
A company tree. A proper work system with correct guidance.
I feel so much relieve now with this so call motivation.
At least they agree to have such system to smoothen the overall work flow.

Soon we will have an Account Director comes in.
By then I will have more time to do my own things and have more time to do research.
And maybe I can start hunting and moving to a better place.
Who knows what would happen next.
But I know I want to excel one day.
With what in what by what, I don't know.

Tomorrow gonna have another mad day.
I started to hate friday when I joined this company.
Friday with lesser people in office.
Friday alot of last minute job.
Friday I always go home alone while everyone will have plan after 6pm.
Friday is a fever day for me. Sad and pathetic.
Oh well, maybe not this friday. *Laugh*

Today I had gastric since morning.
I have backache after the morning meeting.
Guess I didn't sit in good posture.
I hardly get gastric now coz I eat on time.
I ask myself to drink more water too. (which I am still trying. HAHAHA)
Better than nothing right? Improving improving! *Claps*

Phew* 

-_-III

Abit don't know what am I talking about. *LOL*
 Good nite.
*gastrovely*

Your Call

What I want.

Primary
What's your intention?
What's in it for me?
What did you gain?

Secondary
Why do you still want me?
What makes you come back?
Why not go on or continue?

Remember?
:- Thanks to someone!
:- When I needed you, where were you
:- I want to know how much you want to stand by me
:- Can I trust you for being good
:- Can I trust you for being alone outside
:- I want to know what you want from me
:- If you are going back to Australia
:- If you will stay because of me
:- Will you give me his details
:- Will you stop contacting him

I know what I want from you now.
I know what you can offer.
But I am not sure if you can do this.
My simple request:
I want her bf's contact.

I just want to know if you can do this.
Your call.
I won't restrict you if you want to change phone number, or whatever you want to do.
Your call.
But I know the only option I have in mind now is that one.
Your call.

*ijustwanttobelovely*

Life has never been easy

Say easier than done.

Sometimes you need not listen to what people comment about thgs.

Sometimes you shld listen & take advice from the people who really want you to be good.

Sometimes you shld just listen to your heart. See what it says.

Sometimes you shld be more selfish & take charge of your life more.

Sometimes you shld wake yourself up by slapping yourself hard.

We are all human. We have 1 heart & 1 soul. But why is there a word call 'betray' or 'side track'?

I really feel lost. How to build up the trust where we used to have?

So, it is my fault.

When you side track, you blame me. Coz me who make you like that. While you still keep insisted you didn't do wrong.

I feel thankful for having sense. But I feel bad for having no guts. I hate myself for being so stupid.

Am really lost & blank.

Should I say: thanks to someone?

Is it my turn to say: you started first?

What should I say? What should I do?

And what is next??

•Nomorelovely•


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

No eye deer

I am totally clueless.

I wonder why.
I wonder why do you still want me.
I wonder why do you want to hurt me so badly.
I wonder why all these.

It is proven and I am now speechless.
It is not the right time to do confrontation.
It is never clear.

Why do you always have to act like this?
Have you ever changed?

At first I thought I should be guilty.
But now I doubt so.
I think I should not hold you back.
I don't think you actually love me that much.
I should not be pushy.
I just got to walk away.

After all, you don't love me that much.
And I am not the dream girl you after.

After all these minutes, hours, days, months, years.
All gone.
After all these laughter, anger, shouting, fighting, understanding.
All disappear.

After all,
Everything turn back as white as a paper.
After all....

Begin and End

First Day

Dear you and the above,

Today is the first day.
First day of the week.
First day to start new campaign.
First day to get irritated again.
First day after pay day.
First day to get heart pain.
First day cough in office so loud.
First day scolded boss
First day turn my face grey.
First day....

First day of the week.
First thing cross my mind when I woke up this morning.
First thing it was you
First thing how you left me so suddenly.
First thing I miss you.
First thing my family miss you.
First thing your laughter still very strong in my head.
First thing I have yet to visit to your new home.
First thing I cried when I heard about your news.
First thing I cant get over it.
First thing, it's still fresh and new.

In life, there are plenty of things we have regretted of doing.
They are not wrong or they were not.
They were just not what we've plan.
Some say better regret of doing it than never try.
Choosing a wrong direction make my life harder.
I should learn how to be more flexible.
I should live with my choices.
I should adapt to what I have chose.

If I were given a choice, I would choose to turn back time to year 2000.
At least she is here, you are here, and we are still together.

In life, there is nothing better than togetherness.
We are apart now but we will be together one day.
Very soon.
Very very soon.

I miss you all badly.

~Griefovely~