Putting on the mask

Not who I am.
I am not real. This is not me.
I am not me. I am like a blind fly.
I am not happy. I am in a mess.
I am so emotional. I am like a safe box, things in hardly out.
I stop complainning. I think world has more things to do and world evolves quickly.
No stop and stare case. Never.

No one is going to please me. No one is going to do what I like.
No one is going to be slave for me. No one is going to love what I do.
No one is force to do chores & No one to be there when I need help.
Coz they are not paid to do so.
Afterall, l.o.v.e.l.y a.l.o.n.e feels l.o.n.e.l.y and be the l.o.n.e.l.y.n.e.r
(funny)

I shall let go coz I think this has been too hard for me.
Whatever have promised in life, all over, all done.
My dream is one step closer now. Thats all I know.
Should I let go my high pay job to do what I like? (I have ppl counting on me)
Or should I persue my dream no matter what happen? (I still have ppl counting on me)
What is the long term deal? what is worth for the wait?
My life has been hard coz I have been living for everyone.

What am I thinking now? Where is my thinking hat?

^Lo.vne.ly^

Let's go to bitch road

Speak out!

I need a shoulder.

Today is a black Friday. Oh well, nothing fun to shout about this, nothing new since the very first day until current moment. So we shall skip this and I keep what had happened today in mind, reme,ber what should I do and what to do best to secure my future.

The more obstacles @ work, the closer journey to my dream. Yes. Thou shall not give up easily. Yes. Definately. But not when I am all alone and without single support. Anyway, I will do what I can and speak out.

Anyway, let's not think about the past. Let's look forward to my new assignment. I need help man!!! I got my assignment at this time and how would I react when I so super tired. I am blank!

My weekend burn just to think about this assignment and office work. Help me!!!! Out of a sudden I just hate my life. *laugh*. I just dont wish to do something so ordinary. I want my dream to come true! Eagerly!
I wish Im only 20 now.

^bitchy-Lovely^

When you are happy

And you know you clap your hands.

Yeah! Last nite send in resume and this morning got call in and ask for interview. It's fast! *brilliant*!
I was surprise that they will call me for interview. 141 Sercon.

I think I have grown up abit but the obstacles are still plenty. But this has never stop me from searching my soul.. I wish I can somewhat settle down this year. Life is hectic when you keep runnng around without a proper place to live in.

*Yawn* Tired life I have since last year Aug. Hope aft CNY things will start to fall at its place nicely. *Smile* Looking forward!

How's my baby doing? Working here everyday after meal sure sleepy and everyday wake up early go work then worry the whole day if there will be anything wrong. And becareful of what I say and it might cause havoc to the whole world.

Very tired of preparing myself to the war. Well, keep my finger cross tight tight, i hope they will consider me and i can learn something new this year. i promise to learn harder and try 101% more than the usual one. Please pray for me.

Tired, sleepy and exhausted. It can never be enough though you have 8 hours sleep everyday.
I want baby to have more rest and I also hope baby can spend more time with me. Contradicting rite? *nod*
Yes! I am. But I just want to tell you.

I love you and never change.

Love you. ^lovely^

Love begins with a single word

I told you so
Suppose I called you up tonight and told you that I loved you

And suppose I said "I wanna come back home".
And suppose I cried and said "I think I finally learned my lesson"
And I'm tired a-spendin' all my time alone.

If I told you that I realised you're all I ever wanted
And it's killin' me to be so far away.
Would you tell me that you loved me too and would we cry together?
Or would you simply laugh at me and say:

"I told you so, oh I told you so
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you had to go.

If I got down on my knees and told you I was yours forever
Would you get down on yours too and take my hand?
Would we get that old time feelin', would we laugh and talk for hours
The way we did when our love first began?
Would you tell me that you'd missed me too and that you'd been so lonely
And you waited for the day that I returned.
And we'd live in love forever and that I'm your one and only
Or would you say the tables finally turned?
Would you say:

"I told you so, oh I told you so
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you have to go.

Will you do so?
Yes I think you did..

But i still love you.

I decided to leave my burden in the office. Finally released and now I am bek to the normal life again. Well, I just got to look for an alternative way to sustain my PR and constant month income for me to spend.
I am glad you love what you are doing for now. I have different view for this year. and you please keep it up!
i wan you to love what you doing! With passion and wisdom! *cheers*

^Lovely^

I told you so

You mean the world to me
Many roads I've traveled down
Many times
But no matterr where I go
It's your face
I see
and so, you see,
I write this down and tell you now
(I just confessed it)
Of all people in the world -
No matter how life spins
and whirls around me
and no matter where I go -
You mean the world
to me

Thanks baby for coming to fetch me.. that's a very nice surprise from you. *love*
Just because you smell the jealousy in me then you come? *laugh out loud*
Poor boy, I am kinda 'xiao qi' rite? *laugh*.
Thanks for the sincerity. Thanks for the initiative. Thanks for your kind gesture & thanks for caring.
I am touched! Really!

I am sorry that my weaknesses still around. No sense of direction, lazy and blah blah blah lots.. I will try to improve one by one. Atleast now I see myself better, slightly. *cough cough*

Really happy that you came last nite. and I am sorry for letting you go off so late. Let me compensate by doing something for you okay? I owe you one!

Love,
^Lovely^

Find a balance

If you never said no to anything, you would be a puppet. If you never said yes, you would be a dictator.In the middle is the give and take of a good relationship, in which you negotiate and persist when something is important to you.

I had a hectic monday. How about you?
I feel old and my back pain since 2 weeks ago. I think i need a proper working place and bed.
Perhaps a good massage would help. I think I need to go look for the chinese doc nearby my house. I eagerly need the medicine.

I am very happy today. Talk to boss abt the City Square Mall campaign. I explained to him about the ideas and the overall research I have done. He was impressed and I told him about the stupid Jeffrey Wong's case. I am disappointed with him and since I have nothing to lose so I went straight to boss and talk to him abt it. I cant just sit there and wait for miracle, and I cant just sit there and wait for ppl to pull down my reputation.
*Praise* Good girl!! Anyway, boss told me he will conduct the meeting tomorrow. *Evil laugh*

After talking to boss, he came out and talk to J.W about the idea sharing tomorrow @ 1pm. Coz J.W told me when i amend the brief and send to him he will see when he can come bek to me for idea sharing. But lucky boss told him tomorrow briefing @ 1pm and he has no say. Then J.W complain to him say my brief not correct though all infor are there. !@#$% *curse and swear*

Then boss told him, my brief is enough and very clear edi, what else he wants. Then he insisted not clear. Well, boss ask him dont like that. Well, I know boss will side him coz he has been working here for very long and he is a come bek kid. (good horse dont eat turn back grass - Chinese always say).

Anyway, I am glad and feeling much released now. I have nothing to lose and I shall do what I think is right. To protect my feeling.

Hate working with this kind of ppl. Well, looking forward to my little shop. I dont want to work for ppl anymore! Thanks for your great offer, I dont mind preparing your meal and cleaning your room. I dont mind doing those for you. I am sure I will enjoy taking care of you and I dont need your shit in return too. *laugh*

I still miss you since yesterday. i was super tired last nite and i think i did say something nonsense. *laugh out loud* When im sleepy, I cant type sms. Please forgive me if I say something stupid or act like alien.

I am still who I am, the ^Lovely^ you used to know and loved.

Love is us. I love us.

I miss the old us. I love the new us.
I treasure everything about us.

I miss the time we used to lied down and watch show and fall off to sleep.
YES YES! when i lied on your tummy, i felt the familarity. i feel the touch that we used to have.
It's kinda sad. It's another level of happiness. It's new stage of hope.


I love and hate you at the same time.
I love the way we have our new vision.
I love the tinkling, poking and pinching feelings like in my heart.
I love the passion we have to set time to meet.
I love the way we talk to each other.
I love the fun that we are having now.


It is another level of happiness.


I hate how you tease me. I have a low self-esteem.
I hate you stress me out. I want to give the best to you.
I hate how you treated me last time. I lost my confidence.
I hate when you just say say and never action. I look forward to see you again. Therefore, I keep your words.


It is kinda sad.


I love to see you sleep. Though you snore and twitch, it is the same old you.
I love the way you rub your goaty on my face. Pain and rough but I know you are with me.
I love when you try to make me laugh. I know my horse laughters brighten up your day.
I love the way you rub my hand. I feel the warm connection from my finger tip to my heart.
I love the way when you pull me closer to your chest. My heart melts when you stare at me.
I love when you con me. I love when you laugh at me. I love us.
All this moments are meant to be personalize. And they are us, who we are.


It is a new stage of hope.


I love us. I love who we are. I love you and me.

This time we went to Ikea to have meat balls again. But this is kinda diff feeling. Now you have a car, and I am no longer staying with you. I am having LPP and you have MCC back (we just exchanged). Now you have what you used to have, just like the day before we know each other..

Life afterall is a cycle. You chase, I run. You hide, I search. I disappear, you happy! *Laugh* That's what you ask today. If you meant it, i will do. So tell me, if you do mean it.Love,
^So-lovely^