Option and choice

Struggling.

I wish I was a tai-tai. Married a rich man and have a happy family.
Or
I born in a rich family. 26 year old be CEO of the company.

Either of this would make my life easier. Atleast I know what is luxury all about. And I dont need to worry so much about tomoro how to pay rent and phone bill.

Life sucks when you keep worrying. There's no end until the day you got to say bye to the world. which is when no one knows. Anytime from this second.

Should I continue to dream big to have the pancake cafe? 
Or should I continue to plan to go bek to Aussie?

I notice something. I will start to think alot when during my jobless moment. sigh..

We discussed this before. We supposed to migrate to Aussie later. But then dont know how we ended up something else and if im not wrong, I think you dont want to go there anymore.

Anyway, my mom did say If I want to go, then go. But I feel old and tired. Walking alone, start a new life alone, crying alone and no one understand how I feel being alone out there. Very depressing!

When I first came to SG, I have no friend. My colleagues are my friends but we dont hang out. So after work i will go home straight. The next day wake up then go work again. Everyday the same until I finally have some friends whom I can talk to.

Then money. First few months suffer alot and try to clear debts. and once jobless, I will need 2-3 months to recover. Depends on how much I can save. Im super tired and I kinda a hate to repeat it again.

Oh well, I really wish to settle down somewhere where I think finally I can call it Home. Tired of floating around like a nobody/s child. Sad.

Time to go to bed. Better not to think so much.

Good nite morning!

*Lovely*

Sensitive words

Today's new words.
Used to and Past

Lesson will take approx. 15mins. Short intensive course. Payment please made to: The square head miss.
1st lesson.
The definition of Used To:
in the habit; adjective accustomed to, familiar with, in the habit of, given to, at home in, attuned to, tolerant of, wont to, inured to, hardened to, habituated to.

The definition of Past:
1. No longer current; gone by; over.
2. Having existed or occurred in an earlier time; bygone.
3. The time before the present.

Why do I chose this 2 words? Becoz my instinct speaks!
I went out today for facial (my stupid clogged skin need serious treatment, FML), then interview then get gift for Fiona's birthday.
On the way to all these places with MRT. They showing DEARJOHN, Alice in the wonderland and CutCops (something like this.by bruce willies). I wanted to watch DEARJOHN after seeing their synopsis. but must find a suitable partner to watch. This movie alittle too sentimental. Even though they put for P-Public viewing but i reckon only selective group know how to enjoy and appreciate this kind of movie.

Anyway, come bek to the 2 words. This movie makes me think about what U have said. I am gonna give you different senarios and make sure you get the 'real thing'.

1. Used To:
This is either good or bad. So pupil, better use it correctly!
Used to, it can be taking as - for granted. My bf loves me as I know. He buy me gift and give me surprises and think I took them for granted. This is bad!
or
It can be good. Like us used to have fun and now we dont. which I still love to do what we used to do.

Eg: We used to stay together and see each other everyday, stick together everyday. Do things together. In and out together. So deeply in love. *sweet* But your mom said ask you to go out see your friends. Couples dont really have to see each other everyday and sometimes each one of us need our private time. I told her we like this way and we are happy with it. She diam.
So, inconclusion, yes, her will came true. but i hate it!
This is bad. Coz I still love the way we were last time. But now we have our own life which is a little scary.

Eg: We used to know each other password, be it ATM, email, or whatever. Of coz there are things still dont know. Until one day U told your mom I check your email, and I kena warning. From then on we set our own. We change everythg except 1 or 2 items. So, in conslusion, yes, she won.
Privacy and respect both share the same concept and idea. One step mistake can ruin the whole structure. Which our r/s still not as open as what I think we can be. We can discuss.

Next - Past;
It can either be good or bad.
Bad when a person refused to change and keep humping on the past.
Good when we had bad time and now we've changed and improved. Past is a guide for us.

Eg: U said: U used to like to bring me along to wherever U go in the Past. But not now.
So, in conclusion, this is bad. Past is holding us.

Eg: The past I always wanted to create surprises for you. but, well, as u know, I just cant. Maybe infront of you, im such small bee. useless. But I did try. just not enuf confident. Worry you dont like it or as happy as you wld be.
So, in conclusion, the past gives me no confidence in doing things. I blame god for not giving me enuf strenght to over come it. and I jealous u always get nice things. Of coz man.... I am girl. Easier. Man hard to get gift. bully me!

Summary. After watching DEARJOHN synopsis, it makes me feel like im in love again. I love that feeling and love pushes us futher. We should love whatever we do and happy bugs will follow behind it. It comes in a set.

Love what you have, what you do. Always.
No matter where you are, no matter what, no matter who. Love everything you owned.

Love and sensible.

^Lovely*

Happy Family!!!

Belated = Riped
Late already still sweet!

Happy Belated V-day! *dont ask me to repeat*

A big surprise! A jack in a box looks like paul frank. But he looks like a sick one. :( oops..
But it's fun playing. I always like music box. But..buttt.... this music box alittle too scary!
Thank God no one buys me Jack in a box music box when i was young, else phobia!

Lucky charm! Yes!!! Charm mari charm!

Love shines! blurb blurb blurb! So everyone will love me more! coz I am lovely! Woohoo!
(err.. alittle thick face i know...Muahaha! *laugh out loud*)

Duckie chew! Yes!!! Chew chew chew!! Attack enermy!
*Cough cough* alittle too pokemon rite? muahahaha! *laugh out loud*

Star blink!Yes!!! Bling bling bling! I am your lucky star! I bring good luck!
*knock knock* sounded like God of fortune! Chai shen dao! muahahaha! *laugh out loud*

Donut Roll! Yes!!! Thunder! Lightning! Donut is my float aka protector. No one can harm me!
*scratch head* I am the 5th family member of Mr incredible?!! muahahaha! *laugh out loud*

OMG! My lucky charms are incredible! They are like me!!!! L.O.V.E.L.Y!!!

Welcome! *hugz* new little girls!
Finally got name for them. But not sure if they are nice.
Square head aka Flat O Deer = Smokey
Lamb chop = Toby

Flat O Deer with a puss-in-boots eyes! looks so huggable and want to protect her.
So I name her Smokey! She smokes U to fall into her trap! muahahah! *laugh out loud*

Lamb chop with a creamy color body. The both ears alsmost cover the droopy sexy eyes.
So I name her Toby. Toberone white chocolate and brown chocolate color. Yummy!!!
Wah seh! Sounded like I keep munching non-stop. Always think about food! snacks! *yish!*

Now I have Girapoo, Bear2, Smokey and Toby! 2 boys 2 girls! Perfect Pair! Sirotan, LPP, MCC and the cow! 8 leh! can play 5 on 5 basket ball! woohoooo!!! *laugh out loud*

Happy Family!

^Lovely^

Sadly, sorry is not enough

Magic word doesnt work for everyone.

I missed my flight.
I was speechless. My heart beating fast and like something bad gonna happen.
The nearer the date is, the more tiring I feel.
Finally my CNY break done.
I hate this office coz it makes my heart shiver everytime I step in.

Anyway, I finally made it to go to your house for dinner.
Your dad was not around. And your mom ask me to 'Shhh..' when I ask her where's your dad.
And I ask Why and what happen. And she say 'Adult thing. Shhh...'
So I shut up. I was tired to ask further.

You went into your room. And I was left alone.
*Awkward feeling*
This place used to be very familiar.
Now feel wierd. I know it's my issue.

I dont know to stand or sit or how to react.
I am a guest. And I should have a guest look and behave like one.
Remb your mom said I am just a guest and I should tell her where I go and what I want.
So I stood there and wait for instruction. *Kidding la*
I stood for awhile. Almost plan to sit at one corner, play game and wait for you to come out.
Not sure how long or until your mom calls you.

You ask me if I am not happy.
I was not. I was alrite.
I dare not to dig or go check out things in your room. Coz I dont have that habit since young.
Mama say this is manner. Must respect. Cannot anyhow touch ppl's stuffs.
You arrange it nicely and now very neat.
Later I touch all fall down. My 'angel' hand is so 'magical'.

You keep all our things nicely. Thank you.
Do you think I should take it back from you?
To do add-on or touch up.
Or hang around my space decorate my bed abit.

You ask me if I am not happy again.
I was not. I was alrite.
This place used to be very familiar. Now feeling uneasy.
Your mama say respect your privacy.
So I sit diam diam. Later you say I noisy.

Remb the very first day I went to your house.
Aft drinking session and I stayed over. The next day so scared.
I do care about my first impression coz I care about you.
I want to make you look good and your parent proud to have me as their in-law.
'Chey wah'.. I know not so fast but atleast something good to leave behind.

I do not have a pretty look or feature.
So must do something or give a better body languge to balance it.
I earn the impression.

I hope no one ask you why your gf like that one..
Or none disapprove us.
Well, I dont mind if they say you deserve a better one.
But, I do mind if they say your taste bud is bad.

Anyway, I am still glad and always glad to know/have you in my life.
Never and will change.

^Faithfulovely^

Last day

I wish today is 12th Feb.

Remember my flight was delayed and we had dinner at T3 Jap Restaurant. Then we took photos with the P-zai - (Polaroid Mini).

Did you eat the lolli?

Then I got irritated at the airport with the pigs around. And I was super tired carrying all the food and bags..Then those ppl with no brain block the exit. I ran the luggage over their feet, I was super happy! I hope their toe nails drop off asap and grow in odd shape.

Then Sat is my dad's birthday. We had dinner with bobby and Li Gu and gamble. Lose $3.
Then Sunday gamble again.. Lose $22. Then more...$200.. Jialat! Time to turn back time!!! Sob sob!

I wish today is 12th Feb Friday.

^Lovely&

Bitch the Beach

Port Dickson.
16 Feb to 18 Feb 2010

It's a nice family trip! *Cheers!*

Powerful Air-con *Yes!*
Nice accormodation *Yes!*
Fun time *Yes!*
Good environment *Yes!*
Eat Well, Sleep Well *YES YES YES!*

Check out the latest photos soon! *Wink!*

^Lovely^

Once a upon

Dont know when. Dont know how.
Dont know who. Dont know where.
Only know we started it and last till today - 2010 16 Feb

It is family trip during CNY again! *Woohoo!*
But this year only 5 of us. Bobby got a new job and cant make it for this trip.
For the past year we been going to the same old grandma grandpa places like Fraser's hill, Cameron Highland and dont know where.

Same shit different year! *Laugh*

Anyway, PD this hotel not a bad one comparing to Melacca *shiver*
Melacca hotel we booked 4 days 3 nights and we only stayed 3 days 2 nites.
It was Hell.

Anyway, this year we are here in PD. So far so good and consider a pleasant trip.
We went for breakfast at Old Town Jalan Kuching! It sucks!
Not fast enuf or not enuf man power. No one knows! I almost work there. And we thought we were.
Coz after we order and we go counter and take ourselves.
They still charged us service tax. Real bastard! Ban!!!

Eat again! Lunch time had the chinese sasauge! It's nice! Super nice! *Yummy! Thumbs up!*
Then the CP wonton. Mom likes it coz it is very fresh!
Then the vegetarian chicken. Fried with ketchup sauce! *Slurp*

Watched Korean 2009 grammy award. Till 5pm then head down for a fast and furious swim. 2 laps then started to drizzle! *KNS*
Then saw a group of chinese family. A real 200 pound secondary sch boy (mom say he only sec sch student though he is big) and he arm hock with 2 kids' yellow float. KNS! damn er xin!

then I think his bro or sis. The bro wore a beanie hat crowling ard with a white foam type float. the sis wore undies with swim suit. Grandma where long pants jeans material to swimming pool. The whole swimming pool with the white white stuffs. *Turn off*

Anyway, came bek I bathed with warm water then mom cook again! Wah seh! Cant wait till food is ready! I cant stop eating! Go home you see me fat edi then dun complain! Never ever complain! *Both hand crossed infront of my chest*

Alrite. I got to go help mom cook! will take pic and let you see! :)

*Miss you*
few more days to go to fly bek to SG!

*Lovely*

As light as a feather

Ah Huat still can't make it!
I shall stop waiting for 'Ah Huat'.
I was waiting with my 'Zao Chai Cat' undies. Still never come!
Dont know what 'Ah Huat' really waiting for. Fai Di come larrr!!!

Went out with a thick and bulky wallet with just 2 cards.
Gone home with a flat empty wallet with only 2 cards.

I bring nothing buy my flat empty wallet and half sober brain home. Those who win, walked out with a nice smile. But I special. I laugh! Coz I brighten their nights with no nightmares! *YEAH*

God will give me a star stamp on my soul-saving card when I report myself in heaven! *Love*

Without any heart broken or pain or hard feeling at all! This is weird! (I did try to pinch myself though). Money aint easy to earn but it seems like money is more important to certain people. I am after HAPPINESS and LAUGHTER. not money. Money can make ppl laugh - Only those who gamble and win $. Money nv help me to be happy in this way.

Maybe you are right. If I win alot, I can buy alot of things and make myself happy. But I feel guity for doing that. They will say and keep repeating "You earn SG Dollar leh!".... Then??? SG dollar can afford to lose.

My aunt and her family is the typical 'SGporean' who live in MSIA. They are the rich ppl and they are also the top 5 giam ka na! all stingy. Okay la.. the kids never get to expose to our world yet. Or has yet to reach my stage. I am old! I admit okay. Dont attack me, no more! *Laugh*

But it was a fun evening after all. Baby was busy playing the 2 lion dance tissue cover. All the lion hair all over the place. Just like my money. Gone! *Sing with me! NSYC - Gone!*

$200 for all. And $126.70 for dinner. Ah Huat better make sure my 5mil 4D can win atleast few thousand. Else Ah Huat gonna cham when he comes! Huat Arrrrr! Lu jia pa beh! *Laugh out LOUD LOUD*

Tomoro v go PD lor.. with no money no need to gamble. 3 days 2 nites trip solely for soul healing and resting. *Giggle* Like very cham like that. *Laugh*.

Hope you win alot and BE HAPPY no matter what happen! HUAT ARRRR!!!!
(Ang ang beh hai lang! Gold and Red! Sure win liao! hahahahahahaha)

*Huatly!^

Happy V-Day

What is V-Day?

V day is Very Good day! *For couple laaar*
V day is Vampire's day! *Suck blood*
V day is Valentine's day! *Yeah! the romantice part*

I read an article, cute and funny!
If you ever own a restaurant and just nice CNY and V-day fall on the same day. What would be your menu? 10 course meal with abalone and shark fin? or 2 sets candlelite dinner with roses?

For those who single, would you buy yourself present? Or will you be irritated instead?
How would you celebrate this day if it stands alone? *emo lor sure* *LAUGH out LOUD*

What a funny article.!! *Qian bian*

Well, I had a special V-day this year with nothing. *LAUGH out loud* Still a very good day!
Lose another RM22 bet after 3hrs. *Curse and swear!* Seriously a suck blood day!
okay la as you say, after 2 years of solid winning, this year I give back abit la k... *laugh* *Cough cough* Not very romantic leh..

Mom ask what did I get for V day. Mom remember I used to have lots of present during my birthday and V-day. *Eyes rolling* Errr..... now lao kui edi.. Old edi what! Blairrr!

They ask how come I buy the polaroid cam. How come I keep writing at nite and doodle with the polaroid pic. How come my forehead for few red pimples? I very stress arr? How come I still so thin and when I want to have a bf? When I want to get married and when I want to have babies. I old edi lor.......... *-_-lll*
How come how come, How come you got so many how come de??

And baby's mom ask how come I come bek alone. where is my partner. *Da invinsible man - 98degree*

*Boh liao*
Huat never come!!! Where are you?

*Huatovely!*

I love who you are.

Evil cover my eyes with his smelly hands.
Yish! pui pui pui!

First day of CNY to Second day of CNY AKA Midnite.

Jealousy make me angry.
Evil make me angry and evil stir the fire.

You use different tone when I call while you with someone (friends or colleagues)  else.
My timing still that bad? So I should wait for you to call instead to make you angry? *Eyes Rolling*
You compare me with Maddy and you said how come she so supportive and I am not. *OUCH!*
She encourage him by not asking him much. BUT What did he do to show her he is working for both of them?
Shld I not talk to u and understand abt your life?U can dont show me yr sms talk to me about yr day and plans or bother abt my life, then for what you want me in your life? Trouble yourself? Just want me to tell you encouraging phrases? I respect you. Okay, I will do! 

Anyway, thank you for telling me and constantly update me about yr day since I am so far. Appreciate it alot! I shall not say anything unhappy and whatever that will bring harm to anyone, I shall block it out and practise- forgive and forget.

PROMISE!

And you shall love a person for who she is but not condemning her by comparing her with another woman. I hope you understand how I feel. *Bow*

I am not a bright lovely. Enlighten me please!

^Darkovely^

*Past is past. Let bygone be bygone.*

Happy New Year @ Happy V-Day

Symbolic icon.

Lion dance! The symbol of CNY.
Love! The symbol of Valentine's Day.
Combination - Male lion & Female lion fall in love while doing lion dancing.

Woohoo! *Lovely! as my name!* *grin*

Last nite of gambling game, after so long, i lose RM3. From RM71 to RM20. Then play play play then count RM3. -_-lll

Commercial break.
Ah ma told Ah gong ask him to go catch the chicken for her to cook for tonite reunion dinner.
Then ah gong say: Why that chicken? "pointed out from the window and stare at the skinny chicken which running alone ard the garden". Then ah ma replies: If you dont wan chicken then go catch a duck for me. Then I cook whatever you catch for me.

Ah gong walks out to the garden and make a sumo pose and wanting to catch the chicken. But the skinny chicken ran off very quickly. Then ah gong decided to go out... (well you may think he goes market to buy chicken)

Aft awhile, he back with a bucket of KFC, and told ah ma say there's the chicken.

Then during reunion, they have KFC as part of the dish. And ah gong say out loud to the kids who come bek for the dinner, THIS CHICKEN IS MUCH NICER THAN THE OUTSIDE ONE! Lucky you chicken!. laugh at the chicken outside. LOL

Funny and cute ad. *Love*

This is the best time to catch creative ads. I hope you were here. :)

Love*

^Lovely^

I am afraid NOT

I have learned to say NO.

My ex girls' brigade officer sent me FB msg.
She didnt know abt me and that 'ohmm' bastard's case until yesterday..
She dropped me a msg and ask if there is way to patch things back.
A little lousy. And I dont mean to bring this up during such happening festive going on.
But I want to let you know what is going on, every single little one.
I got to train myself not to be forgetful so you know me well.
Then will u?

Anyway, I want to go lunch edi. My craving for Jello is still super strong! I want! I want!

Sorry that I didnt buy anything nice for you for this V-day. Let me go bek & compensate k... :)

*Hungrylovely*

UP UP AWAY

Flight delayed due to technical problem.
Now are are safe to go!
Heck!*

Safe boarding! Phew*

I experienced a lousy service last nite with Tiger airways. which I've nv been in this irritated mood before.
Well, standard in both service and quality control have dropped drastically.

Air stewardress and Air steward:
- Broken english and bad pronouncation. (China girl, Malay girl and man both shit!)
- Ugly and huge body size (I know the min. standard height. So since you can hardly find a tall in height one, so find a tall in horizontal way rite?)
- look fresh and unprofessional (Isnt it a training? But they like working in a restaurant.)

The aircraft occupied by 98% of Malaysian. Malaysia Boleh! Malaysians are rich! We charter the whole flight to go KL. woohoo!! :) Yeah! yeah!

But...buttttt.... Malaysians are another no brainner! I think they bring back something extra home from SG - Kiasuness! And airline dont know how to control and take action.
Luggage bag! You are allowed to bring ONE luggage bag which is not heavier than 7kg. Everyone take lor! then later no need to queue and check out at custom mah. can straight away go out edi... *STUPID KIASUNESS*

Due to this stupidity the whole flight delayed. Ppl queue'g just to wait for each one of them find space to allocate the bag. And with the broken english, passangers dont understand what they want.
Eg: Keep the emergency door clear. no bag allowed under the seat.
Then tell them straight la and help them to place the bag away.OMG! the china stewardress tell the lady and the lady ask then what you want me to do? then she left. WAT THE!!!!!!!

LCCT!! Another disgusting place!
We need to check bags and let them thru the computerize machine. And the stupid no brainner custom ppl all standing around and chit chating. My bag super heavy and they see and no action. They f'king asshole behind me was staring at me and never help! GENTLEMENT where??? All died!
No wonder my malaysian frens who has alittle standard will never go budget terminal and take budget airline. Or budget airline with alittle class like -Jetstar!

Arrival hall; Exit
Exit is a door for your to escape not for you to block and show your ugly face! Keep clear!
Next time I will bring a bigger luggage bag ang run them down like bowling. Who block my way shall all die! Go to hell ok! Stupid no brainner!

Budget terminal with a no standard system. They should name it 'Standard-Free terminal'.

Irritating!

*Irri-lovely*

11th Feb

Not 2nd of November.
I deserve a big slap on my face! Go ahead and slap me hard babeh!
Wah wah wah! I am super guilty now.

Shit la! How could this happen to me? I think my grouchyness has gone up to my eyes and both are blinded by evil.

I am sorry baby! I dont mean to but .... *speechless*
I deserve the punishment... *turn my ass and let you smack*
*Wet eyes* Can go softer? *Grin*

I hope we can meet on Friday! Let's see tomoro and judge.
After work I will be heading down to meet carol and then go home pack after my things. Gonna be rushing here and there like a mad chicken again.

Surprise Surprise Surprise!!! *Wink*

^Lovely^

Single Day

Funny Wednesday morning.
Irritating Wednesday noon.
Annoying Wednesday evening.
Sweet Wednesday nite.

Funny Wednesday morning.
On the way to work, pardon me, going to work with the traffic flow is always amazing. Life is like a drama. You are one of the actor in life. The producer is the environment surroundings. Props are the elements beside us. As usual to work, train is always freaking crowded. I was hugging newspaper and cooler bag. Today CP Food will deliver the order to our office. As I was listening to 'Maria' this song, oh well, incase you dont know or forget, 'Maria' this song been stucked in my head for awhile and it's about the 200pound beauty show that make me roll on the bed. And while playing the song, an approx 150 pound (god knows 150 pound is how big, but she is big) woman standing infront of me. So scary! I almost burst out!

Exit MRT, a man who in formal shirt and from the back he look quite tall and handsome. But aft a second of him passing by, a very strong 'toilet' smell burst my bubbles. Conclusion is: No matter how handsome how tall how big chest a man has, BO can nv win a woman's heart. While walking up to escalator, a woman tried to cut queue and the way she walks like having something between her tigh. What a funny morning!

Irritating Wednesday noon.
I got to help wrap the oranges. I don't mind to help since I have nothing to do. But I got irritated by ppl in the office. I went for intvw. First time ever in my life being intvewed by an ang mo old lady. Nothing glam nothing special. The place make me feel like another Ronchester Park. (Hey, Ronchester Park aint new at all.)

CP Food came. Everyone not working and I got to seperate them. And the reception aunty got mixed up. I seriously feel like slapping her awhile. I know she wants to help but blind or wat? U are giving me double job!

Annoying Wednesday evening.
Fridge no space to put. I sms you about passing you the stuffs. I guess anyway also we will be meeting until maybe aft CNY. If you are not interested in bring those stuffs home then can always let me know.I can deliver to your house anytime you like. Like I say, my aunt's hse freezer no space and I don't want my thgs all around. I like to give out straight away and settle things fast.

One packet missing. So blame who?

Sweet Wednesday nite.
Thank you for offering to give me a ride. I am sorry that I ended up taking MRT home. Coz you say 6:30pm I dont want to rush you. and till now I have yet to hear from you. Do you think next time you can give me a better timing advice? I know my stuffs are small case, but I do somehow need your assurance.. sorry, my fault to force you. You dont even have time for yourself. but I am thankful for those things that you have made. Like the blog... :P You are not fat nor ugly!
Again, I dont want to be blunt. I hope to support you whevever I can. But I seriously annoyed these 2 days. Do you think I will be seeing you this friday? Sorry. You ask me to be direct. And I tell you, I hope to see you but I am afraid you got things to do. Always the last min things kill. I dont mean to hurt you. I hope to be fair and I rather take time off to chit chat with you and enjoy every single moment that passes by us than thinking if I will be late again. I hope you get me, I feel exhausted.

I come alone, stay alone, leave alone. I am a lonelovely. I am a grouchy bitch these 2 days.. I am sorry x100.

I dont live for myself but many ppl around me. I try to be better and please everyone. I sincerely hope to grant some mercy from these ppl. Just a little I will be happy.

I call mom and complain about this house to her. I want to tell you but I dont wan you to worry. You have more than enuf to worry and you say u hate worrying about me. Thats sad. And I finally throw tantrum and aft that i feel guity now. Shit me!!

I deserve 100x slaps.

*Annoyovely*

Annoying Day

I am sorry.
I got to say sorry before I start to bitch. Forgive me and I think you can skip this page.
I won't blame you or scold you for not being there.

I had a tiring day with the stupid delivery jobs. I didn't have much to do now.
Just waiting for the hand over day. Then I will be free.
The oranges and the freaking big bowl is superb duper heavy. 2 days of carrying that make my back pain.
Oh well, I got to admit I am old and I don't want to be man. Get me? I DONT WANT TO BE MAN!
If I can do what a man does, FML. Everything will be handled by me. Who needs the f'king man ard?
Eve needs Adam and Adam and Eve meant to be together. No gay or lesbian was made at the first place.

Ignore me!

I was annoyed, I am not sure if this is early PMS symptom or before my aunty visit, I got super grouchy.
I am sorry again. I just want to say what I want to say. and I am gonna shoot it out like AK47.
WARNING: To whom with heart problem, you may want to close this window and stop reading. Save your life by hiding away.

Do you think you are alittle irresponsible? Oh well, as compared to others, I find you treat me like a 'spare'.
I am not going to repeat myself again after this, never ever again. You make me feel this way and should I learn and adapt and again do it on you too? If you want to try your 'luck' with other girl, and you think if you two might not work out and you hope to keep me as spare, thanks. Please tell me openly, frankly and wisely. I might coordinate with you.

You won't call when your frens around. You scared they know we still contacting each other? If so, then forget about even sms'g me. Ya. I am glad and I feel so nice when you fetch me to work that day. It was my pleasure to have a free car ride to work. But I feel bad that you got to lie to your frens for not fetching them. Oh well, I can't ask you to fetch them first then come take me.
(so far I can only think of 2 possible reasons.)
Anyway, if you are not ready, then please kindly inform me. So I will only sms you, and never anyhow call you. (dont give me nonsense rational, Action speaks louder!) 

You might want to say I am sensitive or watever 'excuses'. No matter what and how, I feel that shit. Stop telling me that you just want 2 of us to be together quietly or watever reasons. If in this case, I should not bother to share with anyone that I know of about you. I can always go out with them whenever I want to, just to make sure when you call, or when you need me, I will be there. Am I rite? This is the freedom you offer.

You can be very happy driving around to help your fren. But you never think about how annoying it can be for worrying you for nothing.Ya. I remember, you very busy, not even a second to sms. I don't want to be your second mother. You like then you sms, you don't like or you busy, then don't bother. You want to silent your phone and say don't want people to disturb us, then hide at a corner and reply or call, then do what you like and continue them.

Remember this always, relationship is like a mirror. Your partner adapt what you do to him/her. I don't want to keep pushing and I feel very restless and annoying. I am definately not treathening you.

Do what you like and as you like.
I already say what I want to say and that's all.

Don't need to be restricted. If you don't like or not happy, leave it alone. Leave me alone.
Again, I am sorry if I being too rude. World won't stop just because of you alone. I just want to make everything turn out good, I am running out of time. I can be direct and straight forward to share things with you. I just refused to coz I don't want to make us difficult.
WARNING: *I can be real blunt when I don't give a d***.

Tomorrow I will pack the things and I hope you can let me know when you free so I can pass you the stuffs. For the kids I can keep them if it is too much hassle. Just let me know when you free or on the way home I can drop by your place to hand it over. Anytime!

Many many thanks.

*Annoyvely*

Who needs who now?

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.

Anyway, cut long story short, make farts clean!
I won! I won nothing but the smartness! (I still havent decided wat is the bet.)
Oh man! suddenly remb my head got knock and before that I can make wild guess right. But now I am not too sure about this!

Oh no!!
Should we have another bet?
This time round I wan a diamond ring! bling bling one c! muahahahaha!!! *Evil laugh*

Then now you can plan to save up for the dinner edi. Bet your wife gonna be happy! *wink*

*laugh* Afterall, I am da smart one!!! hahahaha... *Grin*

*Luckylovely*

You call it madness, but I call it love.

9 6 is sweet!
Saturday was a fun day! Sunday was totally madness!

Thanks for spending precious time with me and I feel so............ Lovely.. *wink* *sing-a-long-song* [Say my name say my name!]

Ronchester Park is awesome! Krish restaurant is cool! My baby is .... gorgeous! *Hooray!!!*
You need me baby! You need me! Without me you cant have so much fun and without me, your life is like a pancake without flour! *Rolling eyes*

Break time News - Hmm...I have pancake craving! *Slurp* *blink blink*

Baby, I feel thankful for having you. I deserve the slap for making you upset and taking you for granted. If you call this stupid, Yes! *Nod* I admit I am stupid. I am not bright. I have lots of fun having you, oh yeah! you need me! you gonna marry me and compensate coz you knock my head! yea! you closed the door without checking. What if my finger was there? What if my hand was there? what if? *Bang!!* my head kena! *sob sob*

*Laugh-out-loud* Yea! drama not karma!

5 more days we gonna be apart for 7 days. and be good! I give you as much as freedom as you like. You want me to tell you and be more open to you then you will do that to me.. *Nod* but..buttt... I have nothing to hide or show... I will tell you whatever that happen asap, but i refused to remember those unhappy things. I chose to filter them quickly.

Anyway, I send out resume and hopefully I will have job soon. If not I will work part time at the cafe first ya. I will learn the operation system while waiting for my research to be done. Atleast I still have $1k to spend. Just got to save and spendless. *keep fingers cross* Hope tomorrow ppl will start to call me and ask me to go to work. *laugh* dreaming leh me..

I rather spend longer time to find a better job than joining CCNP. u think? then I will be in KL for 3 months. If in that case, might as well I go back KL and work. U think? U think?

Alrite... Just want to tell you I AM VERY HAPPY TODAY! THANKS FOR SPENDING TIME WITH ME! THOUGH YOU KNOCK MY HEAD WITH YA STUPID SJV 450A FRONT LEFT PASSENGER SEAT CAR DOOR BUT I STILL LOVE YOU!

Hope this is good enough to convince you to give me ang pow! *Evil Laugh* muahahahahaha!

*Sweetovely!*

Uniquely Ronchester Park

A Place To Go!
Ronchester Park!
I bet $15,000 for 80 ppl. And you bet $25,000 for 80 ppl.

I humblely think I will win. *laugh out loud*
I shall say who ever loss,......... Whoever win, will have chance to raise up voice and be demanding. *laugh*
Be gentle and don't offend.

I Love Krish! Nice place and Nice settings.
I hope we can go there soon... :)

-Krishlovely-

Money Money Come!

Happy New Year! Love is in the air!

My back pain due to stress. After meal, feeling sleepy. Everyday been paisaing. This is weird! Too weird to believe!!
Anyway, this is my last weekend here in SG. Next Friday going bek! Woohoo!!!! *love it* need to go see chinese doc. Urgently need a back rub! *pain*

Last nite was a great nite out with Sheila. We went to Blue Jazz and was awesome! *wink*

Random:
Today Glower client call boss and ask abt headline. Adrian told me and I started to panic. I hate this client, they always go to boss before even come and ask me. May be I am not capable enuf or lack of experience or they jst try boss so much until every small thing go to him. *wonder*
Oh well, let them be. I am leaving edi anyway.

Oh! Vibes didnt get Parkway March Sch campaign. CCNP got it! Who is CCNP? *laugh my head off*
I went for intvw last nite, it was CCNP. and guess what.. This noon client email to us and tell us they are going to do this march sch campaign ads. Is this my fault? i suay la! Coz the moment I took over then things become like this. Sure boss gonna say I jinx! Dammit!

Got another angry thing. "If you wan to cheat or lie, please make sure it is throughout and cover nicely." dont half way leak out any secret and your lie or cheat no longer a perfect one. And u know I am going to scream at you like shit! I hate ppl lying or cheating on me!

Anyway, I maybe soft and petit but dont take me for granted. I have my temper and limitation too. I keep quiet dont mean that I give way. Lie/cheat all the way! Jingle all the way! Make sure no hole all the way!

Next week gonna go TT money home and pack my lugage bag and prepare my air tic paper. The toom is too messy until I dont know where and how to clean it. My back pain until I have no mood to clean.

Oh well, time to go to bed! sleepy! Shit! after meal sleepy. Before meal tummy not well. *roar*

Nite.

*Oldovely*

If that's ok with you

The world needs more love than paper work.

I was glad that you talk to me nicely last nite.
But of coz half way u ki siao agn.
I know what I want but i refused to tell you exactly what i dont feel happy with.
Coz I hate talking about the issue and keep repeating it.
I promise not to hide and let you know the details of my sms/everythg. (if you dont mind to read and help to reply sometimes)
If you want to hide, go ahead.
If want to create the suspicious feeling, go ahead.
If you want to talk behind me or sms behind and keep your privacy, go ahead.
If you are trying to make me die-heart, go ahead. *speechless* *zip*

Dont tell me, u hide first so i hide lor. If you want ppl to treat u like this, then go ahead.
I told you everythg and I have nothing to hide. From the first day until now! Never ever!

When someone ask me if he still stand a chance, I was kinda ......

Anyway, I am very sleepy now.
I need $40 to get something.
I want to go stationary shop.
But I have no money to spend anymore.
Therefore i cant buy nice things for my project.

I need to do part time.
If you busy on weekend, then I will take up a part time to work.
I wish you can buy that cafe and I can run it by myself.
I wan a place people can buy things, relax and eat.
Surrounded by a bird theme. - The real bird-talk business aka jiang niao hua.

Let's see.

9 more days later, I will be away for 1 week.
9 more days later, you will be alone and enjoy yr holiday without me.
Well aft 2 months 6 days you sort of get used to everything already.

Do you still think this year i will still get ang pow from you? *wink* *grin*

Anyway, I hope during this brk you will get back yr sleep and enjoy the ghost's food. yuck!!! *laugh out loud*

Muaks

*Lonvely*

What is going on

What is wrong with the world?

It has been a Light day out today. I had a chic-choc crepe @ canele and take away an Aloha pizza home. Since sheila got to rush off to another place. Well, the chic choc crepe was awesome! I wish you could have it! I took a pic with the Aloha pizza. The paper bag and box are big and ppl ard me thought that is cake. I wish!!!

I love my polaroid cam! Now I can do my scrap book easily. I dont need to go out print though this polaroid film is abit expensive. but it is worth it when you see the pictures laying nicely in the book! I Love it!!!

Then online do my work. My aussie fren is coming to SG and ask if I can bring him around. Well, see how. And I did mentioned about this 2 guys who after me. both got rejected. Well i dont need to explain again. Coz I know my stand and I am clear with what I want. So i told them off when I dont feel right.

What puzzle me off is, how can they be so daring? OMG! I have never seen such thick face SGporean here until this week. I was happy that i have grown up.

The second meeting I attended with my colleagues ard 12pm lunch time. So he asked all of us to go lunch together. Well, client ask to go lunch so we agreed. The place was crowded and I know he intended to hold my waist sort of like protect me from being squash. F rite? Where got such rude ppl around? Lucky my colleagues were behind me and they saw his reaction and intention. and saved my life. Since then never join them for Safra meeting edi. *laugh out loud*

Well, where got such thick face ppl ard. I thought sgporean all shy shy one. For me so chor lor one sure turn this shy group off. But I was wrong. OMG! my colleague told me the guy ask her about me how come I never join the following meeting. I went bcoz her boss not around so I be the guard. I dont handle this client. And what the heck he wants to be so open and ask where's Nicole how come she never come!?!?! Thank god my SAM told him I was only there to help out not taking over the account. And stupid thing is he acted out the client's emo face. *laugh out loud*.

The other one flirt like mad cow disease. Which i think he has brain prob. Oh well, both got rejected kaokao jialat jialat. Both face super thick and they still trying their luck!F'king irritating. Lucky I am leaving and they dont have my contacts.

I never liaise with anyone of them until the receptionist passed line to me. I was like shit in the office. She didn't know what happened. That's why she passed the line to me conveniently when client shouted my name. Lucky it was just office phone and not my handphone.

Anyway, just wonder what's wrong with these guys. Funny thing is when they ask Marcus and say "Is all your servicing ppl all so pretty like Nicole? She is pretty and cute hor. she looks bubbly and cheerpy. Is she attached btw?" Wah sai! He dare to ask such thing during their meeting with Marcus. What the hell man! Lucky I dropped this account. Anyway, I am safe once I leave this company.

Bastard!! My ass cute!
Just grouchy when I heard that. anyway, end story.

*Grovely*

The top 3

Maybe... Maybe Not...

I maybe in top 10
but not top 3.

1. U need time for yourself.
(That includes whatever u need,be it desire or routine).
2. Your work.
(No work no money how?)
3. Your family. They are your close one.
(If anything happen, you are the in-charge)

...In the past...
...marry-go-round was big and I was small...
...In the past...
...Xmas trees was tall and I was small...
...In the past...
...My school desk look plenty of space and I was small...
...In the past...
...It was past...


29 Jan 2010 10:05am
I always want to bring you in the past. Everytime I go alone especially new year they will ask where are you....
* Now you don't need to explain to anyone. Coz you keep 'us' under invincible status. *ouch ouch ouch*

... In the past... These 3 words give me sharp pain. *Poke poke poke*
... In the presense...?
... In the future...?

... That's why i feel like a mistress now.
... That's why you are least interested now.
... That's why you refused to know so much so u can have a longer life.

I am not sure if this is so-call a second chance or second patch back. but one thing I always believe, one hand can not clap and life is within our own hand. We have the right to mold it to our desire of how we want it to be.

Be responsible of what you do, what you say, what you think and what you plan. If you continue to live in the past and never want to make the future better, I am sorry. I give up. truly!*

It is hard to compromise when we both are from 2 different country. One has to be supporter while the other be the driver. I am always the supporter and I need you to be the supporter sometimes. Especially during long weekend holiday. I just hope you can give me this privilege, thats all I ask. If happen we get married, don't worry, they will understand. They will let me stay here with you until 2nd day or whenever the visitation done.

All i need is just this simple thing. I dont see my family often, I need long break to go back else it will be too tiring for me. I need you to be with me (i hope) whenever we plan to go home. I seek your understanding! None of my ex can tolerate this and this is a pain for me. They are not supportive at all.

If not, I will just stay single. Since r/s is so troublesome and no one can tolerate and step back. *Sigh*.

*Pain-Lovely*

Mark this day

With KISS.
A memorable one, I think.

I think I am over sensible or rather sensitive. *frown*
Oh well, not sure if I got wrong signal or message. Oh well, again, ignore.

2 more weeks gonna be CNY. Can I still get ang pow?
Seems to me things changed.
Some people say chicken, horse, rabbit, pig will do well in 2010.
I am not being superstitious but they also say cancer (horoscope), no pink nail polish. It will bring me bad luck.

Oh well, what should I believe in then? I think myself, so-call, if he loves u, he loves u.
Yes, we should prepare umbrella before it rains. But don't you think this is too much hassle?

Today I went for an interview. It took me less than 30mins or 20? Long story!
Anyway, long story cut short, I ask question before the interviewer started to talk and I think that's not what I want then I tell the interviewer I am not interested. Then we end there. *Big eyes shine* *Blink Blink*

I have never tried this before and I feel amazingly daring. *Shiver*
Oh well, I guess my heart feels right and I am very clear of what I want and what I need in life.
So, go for it!
Why should you or I waste time on uncertain stuffs and continue to be fooling around?
Life is short. So go for what you think it's right!

Speaking of which, I had a nightmare and woke up extremely tired. I can't remember what the hell was that.
Maybe during my 'aunty visit', I intend to be more emotional.
Emotional this word is in my weaknesses list.
But lucky my independency helps abit.
I think I just can never rely or take thing for granted for 1 minute.

I am tired. I need holiday and rest and love and food and FUN!

I know I have this silly idea that 'might' make people worry about me.
I think I want to go to an island for awhile. I know I can't afford to stop working, I know it was just a dream yesterday. But I wish to have a chance to explore something different. How ar?

I  am probably too old to try new thing? In fact, I know I can't live without a job if I want my family to move to a new place. And I dont have a job now or soon.
Did I make a wrong move? No I think.
No matter what, how, I will still fork out the money. I just got to do more part time and get more jobs in.
As long as I am happy and enjoy every moment. I don't think with lesser salary will make me cry everyday.
I am sure I can always make something out from there.

I need support and love to get me thru this. *laugh*
Do you think human are all selfish? Do you think if one person has no intention on the other, he/she would help? I guess not even your loved one would, coz he/she has his/hers own prob. So who else left to offer help?

*Lovely-who-has-small-feet*

The Magic Word

Yes! I do! *claps*
Yes! I am ready! *blow whistle*
Yes! Let's do it! Yes! Yes! Yes! *uhmp!*

Yes! I am getting married! Yes! You heard me right! I am getting married! *laugh*

I am going to quit my job and prepare my wedding. Yeah! You got it right! that's the spirit!
Feeling great and feeling overwhelmed now. *Wink*

Starting few days need to get myself relax and use to the environment first. I don't need to wake up early and think about what to do first when I get into office. What needs to be done at which hour and what are the deadlines I have for today... *stress*

I can eat anytime, shit anywhere, sleep anyhow. I can bathe whenever I feel hot, I can stare and dream whenever I feel like it. I can pack the house whichever way I think it's nice. I can even do my scrap book when I feel like coloring. *Grin* Life is great!!

Then after atleast 3 days later, sit down and think what wedding theme that we want. Disney? Safari? Garden? Pool Side? Candy? Retro? Kiddy? Dreamy? Need to google for more fun ideas.. Oh yea! Wedding planner? Is it better? How much is the cost? Will they make me more prettier? Sweeter? Lovelier? *Wink*

Since Sentosa is going to have theme park, and they going to have parade with disney characters. What about I be one of the princess for the day? *Smile* I think that would be a very good publicity for us. Maybe we can be famous after that or they will hire me as one of the princess later? *Shiok myself*

Anyway, maybe we should do that before anyone else grab that idea.

After the theme, here comes the dresses and gown part. What type of color and shape suit me? What kind of tux that will make the groom looks more gorgeous? Is A line nice or short one more cute for me? Or should we try a long one with long tail? Still in trend? What color gown that suits me best? I am dark and I can't afford a dull color. So what now? *confused*

I am short and I don't want to wear too high heels. Where to get nice shoes? If the heels too expensive then one time off abit not worth it. So I should go for the normal yet elegant type of heels. Can wear to function or ball or whatever in the future. Just hope it wont spoil so soon. *laugh*

Then, what's next? Wedding photos. Wow! big thing! Google what kind of pictures we want which is something unique and fun! *Smile* Should we wear gown during pre-shoot? Outdoor where should we go? Wedding gown photos in studio? Er....how? I love seeing nice pictures, I need to spend more time on this. Cant waste any money on this but to make it fulfilling. *love*

Oh then wedding banquet. Where? How many guest are we inviting? How should we have it? Typical chinese or western or mix or how? Hotel? Restaurant? Cafe? Beach? *laugh out loud* What about Kallang longkang? Can we do something like beach wedding dinner? Windy and cosy. but if rain hor..*touch wood*  then we will have to think of something. If it really rain on the wedding day, I will definately push all the blames to you. Blame on you that you didn't supply enough and God says you are stingy! Get it? *laugh* so go work on it and set me more budget! *Salute* Yes Madam!

Then wat else? Invitation card? Wedding Car? Hen's party? Bachalor's Party? New house and deco? Are we not going to see each other before the wedding day? Church ceremoney in the morning? ROM venue? Guest List? Wow! catering or whatever idea! *Eyes rolling*.

*Cold sweat* This is enough to keep me busy for awhile. Doing reseach and arranging dates for viewing, food tasting and choosing materials need tons of hours. This is too stressful! I need more budget!!! *scream*. And I need more support and love! 

Sort out paper for invitation card. Printing. Arhh! go home I show you how much research I have done and what materials I have bought. Maybe I can do my own invitation card. hand made should be something unique and memorable. Oh ya! guest book to sign off. Wow! how dare me!

Wow! This gonna make me busy and my tai-tai'ship is so far so good. People around me gonna be jealous!

Alrite. Time to wake up. *Alarm rings*

It's just a dream.

Yawn

AM NOT READY.

CNY is here around the corner. and I am not ready for it.
I am worry it will be a 'come & go' type. I need a longer break.

*Laugh out loud*
I am sorry. I cant help it.
If you know me for long, you should know I cant pronouce V and W and twist my tougue like no body business like the RRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr sound. Lucky I am not Indian, else I will be the odd one. Ah Huh! I am not saying I am not now. I am now the extraordinary one! *Wink*

Anyway, this company is hiring call "Wiz Werx", which has the most F'king Irritating online application ever on earth. If I got the job, I will have bloody hell hard time pronouncing my own company name. So I decided not to apply it. *Laugh out loud*

Well, now adays lots of jobs go thru recruitment agency. Seriously wasting time. *Sigh...* anyway, jst do what I can. Now I am looking for client side job. Guess that's what my heart feels like and I think I will jst work towards what I have planned for this year. A brand exec or any along this line would be fine for me.

I am so looking forward to the long week holiday. I wont get paid but I think I long for one after all incidents happened. It feels like it just happened yesterday.

Alrite. I found something interesting. Will play with it and post it up soon.

Keep a look out for the new invention soon!
Oh yea! got a note from someone. Say my blog's pic very nice. I think this person is froom HK. :D I am glad that ppl do read my blog and I am glad it is still alive. *Yeah*

Keep it up!

Btw, will have more pictures soon. Gonna go travel sooooon..yes! yes! yes!

.Halovely. (Happy+Lovely)

Life cycle

Relieved & Reset & Restart

I tendered this morning. Boss shake head and I grin. Relieved.
141 sercon not taking me. Reset.
This thursday I am going for another interview. Restart.

Life cycles every (average) 2 years.

Time to pick up and go hunt again. The most tiring thing to do in life.
How I wish I am now a primary school student. *Dream*

I am risk taker.
I don't have a job.
There are ppl counting on me.
I am rebelious.
I very tired.
I want a life.
There are ppl counting on me.
I am restless.
I need love.
I want to settle down.
There are ppl counting on me.
I am still a woman.
How I can going out without spending single cent?
How I can be the 'open palm' instead?
How I can be the spoil brad?
How? How? How?

Life is cruel.. I wish I am the youngest and born with a silver spoon.

.Tirovely.

Awesomeness

Life is awesome with you!
Just you alone.

Life is tasty with you!
Just you alone.

Life is sweet with you!
Just you alone.

No others.

24 Jan 2010 6:40am
B ah bb I'm home now. Managed to clear alot of work. Tomorrow or latero no need to go back office. Can sleep in and work from home edi. Sigh miss you. Dunno if we are staying together it would be nice or bad :(

Sorry bb, I know. Even my parents worry and dunno what is happening to me. All I hope is you trust me. I just want a future with good life later. now work hard nvm. Sometimes I think I'm selfishh to wish you will be there when I come home... But then I know you can't sleep well waiting for me so I'll feel bad and cannot work hard also... Sigh

24 Jan 2010 2:51pm
I just woke up. Reading your message again what's the only way for you to stop worrying? Me to leave totally? If that helps than maybe I will do that.

I'm awake fully didn't sleep well cause of what you said. I also feel very far apart from you and it hurts. I got problem now also u dun talk to my friend. I upset with you also I dun share with my friends. You still confide with francis... I'm alone. I worked hard yesterday so today hopefully we can go east coast take picture. But after what you said yesterday I feel down and dunno if I want to ask you out.

Maybe what you say is not clear or maybe I dun feel safe also. Anyway you want to go beach? We can take photo and have dinner there. But must let me so some work at home first. Pick you at 5.

I think there are few things I want to clear here.
Before you think or act futher, please always remember, dont ever act like a kid and dont ever act irresponsible. I'm not secondary and I am not a replacement where you think you can anytime kick me off or call me in. I am a human and I am just a girl who needs love.

1. I will continue to worry about your safety no matter what even if I'm not staying with you, I will still do so.
If you think this will distract you from working hard then sorry. I will just stop. I don't want and I don't mean to interrupt you or draw your attention away. I dare not to sms you or call you when there's no reply coz I worry I will distract you. Let me know what works best for you. R/S is not about you or me alone. It is about US, we both!

2. There is nothing to talk about or complain about to your friends. I hardly talk to them coz they have their own life. Of coz there's need, they will prompt me. If not they will still go bek to you. We hardly meet and everyone knows we have 'broke up'. So what's there to talk about me and u? Max is they will tell me about your new gf. Where you bring your gf to and when you go to your gf's place. This your creation and you should feel proud of what you have created. This is aint fair to me FYI. If one day ppl tell you they see me dating with another guy out there, should you believe them or me? When you make up story, have you thought of consequences? Or unless those things are truth. Let's get over it.
I don't think there's anything I want to complain about us.

3. Working hard to have a better future is a good morale. But who would promise you to bring you a better future or better life in the future if you work hard? Do you know what would happen to you tomoro or even an hr later? Answer is NO. Treausre whatever you have and live everyday like your last day. No matter how rich you are now, you can't bring all treasures down with you. U get what I mean? All I long for is happiness and fullfillment.
When my hearts tell me to do. I follow my heart. That's how I persue my happiness.

4. Why don't you feel safe? You feel something? You feel either you can't give me more or you think I have someone else? The truth is Yes. There are few ppl after me. But I am NOT bloody hell interested. Coz I am still waiting for you.
Remember I told you once during the very first month I shifted out? No matter what do not doubt my love to you. Do you still remember? If you don't remember, please read back my old blog pages. Do not doubt what I say and If I can't fulfill it, I will not anyhow throw out from my mouth. U have my word.

Anyway, this year CNY will be something different. I wish you will have a few days break so that we can go holiday. But I doubt you can now. Just enjoy yourself. I think I will be away for few days. Time to do soul searching.

Enjoy your week ahead.I had a nice night with you though it's just a short hang out.
Be able to kiss you is my pleasure. Kissing you on your lips is something I crave for everyday. I want to feel the tenderness and softness of your lips again.

Well, wish me luck for tomoro's tendering and good news for interview or 141sercon or whichever.

*Lovely*

With me..

Where fun starts here!

I love my new polaroid camera! I think it is worth it coz I am having fun with it now! Old time has gone and now new thing has just arrived.  I am so going to play with it during CNY.

Afterall, I am just not so ...... I know how to keep memory and generate more! Gonna buy a marker to doodle on the photos and start my new sketch book!

Oh ya..what shall I name this cam? Pink and bulky... erm.... Pink Bull?

I am going to name my sketch book, The fun starts here and everyday with more memories.

Awesome I think. *smile*

*Pink Bull-Lovely*

Capture them!

The gadget that I craving for.
Polaroid Camera - The fun that stays in your pocket..


I saw this pamphlet @ my house. And my eye was stuck when I first saw it. I remember when you packed your room you had one. I was so jealous that you can afford to get one when you were young (not sure how old but by judging from the 'kuan' of the cam, it looks old) *grin* Don't slap me! *hands up*

Then I decided to get one since I want to print photos to make the photo book. Not sure if this is worth it not sure how long it can last not sure if I should or the sony printer better or both also don't buy. Without thinking much, I just go for it. Sometimes life dont need a second thought.

Fun is all around. Think twice when you need to spend a big sum, else, why wait?
I wont have second life and who knows what would happen tomoro. Let's capture the fun and enjoy while you can! *stress free*


I know I anyhow. But I need something to perk me up.
I was worry about you at home and not sure if you are doing okay.
Well, if this is going to continue to be like this, I think it is fair that I give you more freedom.

23 Jan 2010 3:39am
B ah bb I'm finally home. Tomorrow 10am must go work again. Sigh. The kids there for me also no use if you aren't there. Anyway I want to go bathe and zzzz. Sorry earlier on very grouchy I turn off my phone and just listen to music while doing work. Muaks. Sweet dreams.

Yes I want to take photos with you. But I want our life to be private cause it's somewhere I can escape and be alone without interruptions and just be with you alone. Good night my lovely. Sweet sweet dreams.

Thank You! You may think you want your life to be private, truely. It may sound 'mistress life' to me. When you need me, you call. When you are busy, let's talk later. God knows what happen to you there. Well, yeah, freedom you were saying. Yea..I know. I will do what I think it is right. I will take care of myself. I will be independent and find solution when I need one. Then how can I fit you into my picture? Arent relationships all about being together and your partner is the main priority?

Yea, you need to work and you need to earn money. No money no life. True! I agree totally. But if money is so important until it over-shadow your life, then think twice. Dont be obsess by money! Money creates temptation. Love is around you to fill your life. Happiness to keep your life moving. Enjoyment is what you crave for daily.

Maybe you are right, I am desperate. Well, I quit without a job, how desperate can I be?

Anyway, take care of yourself and sorry I can't be around you often. You have enough of hassle everyday, I dont want to be your extra burden. and I will take care of myself which I am doing it everyday.

My mom upset because I suffer alone here. She blamed the man who threw me here. Well, I told myself, I am glad to be here. I thank him for asking me to come here. If not I wouldn't know you. I am glad to have you...

Enjoy your day and remember to fill your stomach and keep warm. Dont fall sick!

*Funovely*

Don't Matter

One Hand Slap
Two Hand Clap

I am tired and exhauted. I need a life.
I don't really have working mood so far. The moment I step into the first day of 2010,
I have decided to settle my life down.

I don't force you to think alike. I won't ask you to do what I like. Like I say, no one will do things to please me. None force to do chores and your freedom is yours and no one can grab them away from you.
Money is important. But happiness is more crucial.
Money can't buy everything. But without money is hard to survive.
U just got to know what is your limitation.
I think with my salary, I can still manage.
I chose to have a better life, I spend less if I have tight pocket.
I chose to have happiness, I enjoy the companionship. As long as we are together, no matter what we do, where we are, we will be happy. Because we are together sharing laughter.

Don't Matter.

It is not about the place or people around you, but the partner of yours brings you laughter.
Therefore, I have only one wish for this year. Family. Raj and Maddie is a big sample to me. They dont earn extremely lot but they are happy. They owe more than what we both have. I am sure we can do better than them. Just the matter of compromising.

Since we are not thinking alike, life still goes on. As long as you are happy, then I will be happy too. *grin*

Tomoro i want to go check out the poloriad camera. I always wanted to get one. I think it is time to go for it before CNY. So I can start another album soon! *Yeah!*

Since you dont want to take pic with me, show pic will let ppl know about us...Then I do something else. I dont like the now us. Do I have a choice than accepting it and jst like that?

Life is aint fair after all. No one is going to what I like.
We flirt to have a better day.

Dont Matter.
*Oldovely*

Superman

Let me be the superman you always wish for. Let's dare our dream with dreams.

I LOVE MY INSTINCT.

I am in-love!
with the smell, with the texture, with the touch, with the memory, with the special thought.
I got the superman note!!! But you say only 1 with a proposal note. Where izzit exactly? *puzzled*

I was thinking about superman.
I was thinking about you.
I was thinking about the superman tin can.
I was thinking to pick one and have a better night.
I was thinking how much I miss you.
I was thinking if it is better to stay this way.
I was thinking do you still want me and how much.
I was thinking .......

I don't love the way we are now.

*Lovely*

想要有个家

TIRED.

Realised few days I didnt blog. Don't even have time to eat and shit.
No food No shit! Hassle Free! Go Green!!! *cheers*

Imagine that's the tagline for anti-food. Am sure the impact will be huge. *laugh*

Tired.

I wanna go home.
I wanna have a home.
I deserve a home.
It is time to own a home.
Right time to settle in.

After I quit, I will go on a L.O.V.E.L.Y.L.O.N.E.L.I.N.E.R travel plan.
Time to use up the air-ticket and as planned. but will u be joining? *-_-???*

I just want to relax and rest and enjoy alittle.
I wish I have a home. A home that plays jazz music with dim lights and cozy feel.
A home that feels with love and happiness. A home that you will feel alone.
A home that makes you feel loved and full with passion and curiosity.
A home that filled with laughter and fun time photos.
A home that only 2 of us. Just the 2 of us, with nothing else.

A home that belongs to just both of US - you & me.

^Tired + Lovely = Tirovely^
meaning: A tired lovely, still lovely.

*Giggle* *Laugh* *Burst out laughing* *Laugh out loud* *Laugh* *Giggle* *Smile* *Wink*

我的爱很大

你知道我有好多好多爱

它们从来都不只在一个地方
爱造物主 爱夜 爱书
爱周围需要帮助的人
还有那只猫和路上流浪动物

它们要分给很多人

有时我不明白为什么
你和别的男人不一样
可以用最让我自在舒适的方式
爱我喜欢我
 
难怪我会这么喜欢你

因为你的爱也跟我一样
可以很大很大
因为有你，我的世界才变的更有意义

Give-A-Way or Give-Away

Count me in or exclude me forever.
Count me in from the start. Exclude me from the begining, forever.

I think I started to be pushie again. I am sorry. I push myself to go further in every aspects. Yes, I am having hiccups with the stupid career. Which I am trying hard to crowl over and make it happen again.

I am now planning to run stationary shop and I wish to make it come true. I dont know how to share with you coz you have been bz. and we dont have time to talk. When we talk, i dont want to bored u with business talk agn before i have a more concrete research. That's why i was angry when you always plan things alone. Well, i dun want to nag or complain. This will only worsen the whole situation. I do, sincerely hope things will get better soon.

By saying this, I dont mean to just sit down and ohmmm...till miracle happen. I knw what I want and the main issue is I dont feel I am important to you. Last minute plans and plans that you run all alone! You need time for yourself, ok, go-a-head. Your parent miss you and you need to spend more time with them. Yes! go-go-go! You got lots to do, you need to settle them! Alrite. Let's continue your work.

Then?

No forcing.
Just plain discussion.
I will understand you, your feeling if you share to me more. I did mention to you when i first met you, i dont need alot of freedom. I need someone to control me so i sense your love and care abt me. I am fine if you dont let me go out and ask me stay home. I know you care. Well, thanks for the extra freedom. I will keep them in my superman can, emergency i will use it. I will still behave myself, truely.

And I think you have hard time juggling your time. Your work, your family and something else. I basically not in your plan. *laugh* Why I said so? *laugh-out-loud* Think about it, I dont know. I am just another weekend ascot. *laugh* *laugh* *laugh* Did you make me different from others? *laugh* Ya! I am stupid!
You are right. *laugh*

-miserovely-

Putting on the mask

Not who I am.
I am not real. This is not me.
I am not me. I am like a blind fly.
I am not happy. I am in a mess.
I am so emotional. I am like a safe box, things in hardly out.
I stop complainning. I think world has more things to do and world evolves quickly.
No stop and stare case. Never.

No one is going to please me. No one is going to do what I like.
No one is going to be slave for me. No one is going to love what I do.
No one is force to do chores & No one to be there when I need help.
Coz they are not paid to do so.
Afterall, l.o.v.e.l.y a.l.o.n.e feels l.o.n.e.l.y and be the l.o.n.e.l.y.n.e.r
(funny)

I shall let go coz I think this has been too hard for me.
Whatever have promised in life, all over, all done.
My dream is one step closer now. Thats all I know.
Should I let go my high pay job to do what I like? (I have ppl counting on me)
Or should I persue my dream no matter what happen? (I still have ppl counting on me)
What is the long term deal? what is worth for the wait?
My life has been hard coz I have been living for everyone.

What am I thinking now? Where is my thinking hat?

^Lo.vne.ly^

Let's go to bitch road

Speak out!

I need a shoulder.

Today is a black Friday. Oh well, nothing fun to shout about this, nothing new since the very first day until current moment. So we shall skip this and I keep what had happened today in mind, reme,ber what should I do and what to do best to secure my future.

The more obstacles @ work, the closer journey to my dream. Yes. Thou shall not give up easily. Yes. Definately. But not when I am all alone and without single support. Anyway, I will do what I can and speak out.

Anyway, let's not think about the past. Let's look forward to my new assignment. I need help man!!! I got my assignment at this time and how would I react when I so super tired. I am blank!

My weekend burn just to think about this assignment and office work. Help me!!!! Out of a sudden I just hate my life. *laugh*. I just dont wish to do something so ordinary. I want my dream to come true! Eagerly!
I wish Im only 20 now.

^bitchy-Lovely^

When you are happy

And you know you clap your hands.

Yeah! Last nite send in resume and this morning got call in and ask for interview. It's fast! *brilliant*!
I was surprise that they will call me for interview. 141 Sercon.

I think I have grown up abit but the obstacles are still plenty. But this has never stop me from searching my soul.. I wish I can somewhat settle down this year. Life is hectic when you keep runnng around without a proper place to live in.

*Yawn* Tired life I have since last year Aug. Hope aft CNY things will start to fall at its place nicely. *Smile* Looking forward!

How's my baby doing? Working here everyday after meal sure sleepy and everyday wake up early go work then worry the whole day if there will be anything wrong. And becareful of what I say and it might cause havoc to the whole world.

Very tired of preparing myself to the war. Well, keep my finger cross tight tight, i hope they will consider me and i can learn something new this year. i promise to learn harder and try 101% more than the usual one. Please pray for me.

Tired, sleepy and exhausted. It can never be enough though you have 8 hours sleep everyday.
I want baby to have more rest and I also hope baby can spend more time with me. Contradicting rite? *nod*
Yes! I am. But I just want to tell you.

I love you and never change.

Love you. ^lovely^

Love begins with a single word

I told you so
Suppose I called you up tonight and told you that I loved you

And suppose I said "I wanna come back home".
And suppose I cried and said "I think I finally learned my lesson"
And I'm tired a-spendin' all my time alone.

If I told you that I realised you're all I ever wanted
And it's killin' me to be so far away.
Would you tell me that you loved me too and would we cry together?
Or would you simply laugh at me and say:

"I told you so, oh I told you so
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you had to go.

If I got down on my knees and told you I was yours forever
Would you get down on yours too and take my hand?
Would we get that old time feelin', would we laugh and talk for hours
The way we did when our love first began?
Would you tell me that you'd missed me too and that you'd been so lonely
And you waited for the day that I returned.
And we'd live in love forever and that I'm your one and only
Or would you say the tables finally turned?
Would you say:

"I told you so, oh I told you so
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you have to go.

Will you do so?
Yes I think you did..

But i still love you.

I decided to leave my burden in the office. Finally released and now I am bek to the normal life again. Well, I just got to look for an alternative way to sustain my PR and constant month income for me to spend.
I am glad you love what you are doing for now. I have different view for this year. and you please keep it up!
i wan you to love what you doing! With passion and wisdom! *cheers*

^Lovely^

I told you so

You mean the world to me
Many roads I've traveled down
Many times
But no matterr where I go
It's your face
I see
and so, you see,
I write this down and tell you now
(I just confessed it)
Of all people in the world -
No matter how life spins
and whirls around me
and no matter where I go -
You mean the world
to me

Thanks baby for coming to fetch me.. that's a very nice surprise from you. *love*
Just because you smell the jealousy in me then you come? *laugh out loud*
Poor boy, I am kinda 'xiao qi' rite? *laugh*.
Thanks for the sincerity. Thanks for the initiative. Thanks for your kind gesture & thanks for caring.
I am touched! Really!

I am sorry that my weaknesses still around. No sense of direction, lazy and blah blah blah lots.. I will try to improve one by one. Atleast now I see myself better, slightly. *cough cough*

Really happy that you came last nite. and I am sorry for letting you go off so late. Let me compensate by doing something for you okay? I owe you one!

Love,
^Lovely^

Find a balance

If you never said no to anything, you would be a puppet. If you never said yes, you would be a dictator.In the middle is the give and take of a good relationship, in which you negotiate and persist when something is important to you.

I had a hectic monday. How about you?
I feel old and my back pain since 2 weeks ago. I think i need a proper working place and bed.
Perhaps a good massage would help. I think I need to go look for the chinese doc nearby my house. I eagerly need the medicine.

I am very happy today. Talk to boss abt the City Square Mall campaign. I explained to him about the ideas and the overall research I have done. He was impressed and I told him about the stupid Jeffrey Wong's case. I am disappointed with him and since I have nothing to lose so I went straight to boss and talk to him abt it. I cant just sit there and wait for miracle, and I cant just sit there and wait for ppl to pull down my reputation.
*Praise* Good girl!! Anyway, boss told me he will conduct the meeting tomorrow. *Evil laugh*

After talking to boss, he came out and talk to J.W about the idea sharing tomorrow @ 1pm. Coz J.W told me when i amend the brief and send to him he will see when he can come bek to me for idea sharing. But lucky boss told him tomorrow briefing @ 1pm and he has no say. Then J.W complain to him say my brief not correct though all infor are there. !@#$% *curse and swear*

Then boss told him, my brief is enough and very clear edi, what else he wants. Then he insisted not clear. Well, boss ask him dont like that. Well, I know boss will side him coz he has been working here for very long and he is a come bek kid. (good horse dont eat turn back grass - Chinese always say).

Anyway, I am glad and feeling much released now. I have nothing to lose and I shall do what I think is right. To protect my feeling.

Hate working with this kind of ppl. Well, looking forward to my little shop. I dont want to work for ppl anymore! Thanks for your great offer, I dont mind preparing your meal and cleaning your room. I dont mind doing those for you. I am sure I will enjoy taking care of you and I dont need your shit in return too. *laugh*

I still miss you since yesterday. i was super tired last nite and i think i did say something nonsense. *laugh out loud* When im sleepy, I cant type sms. Please forgive me if I say something stupid or act like alien.

I am still who I am, the ^Lovely^ you used to know and loved.