The Magic Word

Yes! I do! *claps*
Yes! I am ready! *blow whistle*
Yes! Let's do it! Yes! Yes! Yes! *uhmp!*

Yes! I am getting married! Yes! You heard me right! I am getting married! *laugh*

I am going to quit my job and prepare my wedding. Yeah! You got it right! that's the spirit!
Feeling great and feeling overwhelmed now. *Wink*

Starting few days need to get myself relax and use to the environment first. I don't need to wake up early and think about what to do first when I get into office. What needs to be done at which hour and what are the deadlines I have for today... *stress*

I can eat anytime, shit anywhere, sleep anyhow. I can bathe whenever I feel hot, I can stare and dream whenever I feel like it. I can pack the house whichever way I think it's nice. I can even do my scrap book when I feel like coloring. *Grin* Life is great!!

Then after atleast 3 days later, sit down and think what wedding theme that we want. Disney? Safari? Garden? Pool Side? Candy? Retro? Kiddy? Dreamy? Need to google for more fun ideas.. Oh yea! Wedding planner? Is it better? How much is the cost? Will they make me more prettier? Sweeter? Lovelier? *Wink*

Since Sentosa is going to have theme park, and they going to have parade with disney characters. What about I be one of the princess for the day? *Smile* I think that would be a very good publicity for us. Maybe we can be famous after that or they will hire me as one of the princess later? *Shiok myself*

Anyway, maybe we should do that before anyone else grab that idea.

After the theme, here comes the dresses and gown part. What type of color and shape suit me? What kind of tux that will make the groom looks more gorgeous? Is A line nice or short one more cute for me? Or should we try a long one with long tail? Still in trend? What color gown that suits me best? I am dark and I can't afford a dull color. So what now? *confused*

I am short and I don't want to wear too high heels. Where to get nice shoes? If the heels too expensive then one time off abit not worth it. So I should go for the normal yet elegant type of heels. Can wear to function or ball or whatever in the future. Just hope it wont spoil so soon. *laugh*

Then, what's next? Wedding photos. Wow! big thing! Google what kind of pictures we want which is something unique and fun! *Smile* Should we wear gown during pre-shoot? Outdoor where should we go? Wedding gown photos in studio? Er....how? I love seeing nice pictures, I need to spend more time on this. Cant waste any money on this but to make it fulfilling. *love*

Oh then wedding banquet. Where? How many guest are we inviting? How should we have it? Typical chinese or western or mix or how? Hotel? Restaurant? Cafe? Beach? *laugh out loud* What about Kallang longkang? Can we do something like beach wedding dinner? Windy and cosy. but if rain hor..*touch wood*  then we will have to think of something. If it really rain on the wedding day, I will definately push all the blames to you. Blame on you that you didn't supply enough and God says you are stingy! Get it? *laugh* so go work on it and set me more budget! *Salute* Yes Madam!

Then wat else? Invitation card? Wedding Car? Hen's party? Bachalor's Party? New house and deco? Are we not going to see each other before the wedding day? Church ceremoney in the morning? ROM venue? Guest List? Wow! catering or whatever idea! *Eyes rolling*.

*Cold sweat* This is enough to keep me busy for awhile. Doing reseach and arranging dates for viewing, food tasting and choosing materials need tons of hours. This is too stressful! I need more budget!!! *scream*. And I need more support and love! 

Sort out paper for invitation card. Printing. Arhh! go home I show you how much research I have done and what materials I have bought. Maybe I can do my own invitation card. hand made should be something unique and memorable. Oh ya! guest book to sign off. Wow! how dare me!

Wow! This gonna make me busy and my tai-tai'ship is so far so good. People around me gonna be jealous!

Alrite. Time to wake up. *Alarm rings*

It's just a dream.

Yawn

AM NOT READY.

CNY is here around the corner. and I am not ready for it.
I am worry it will be a 'come & go' type. I need a longer break.

*Laugh out loud*
I am sorry. I cant help it.
If you know me for long, you should know I cant pronouce V and W and twist my tougue like no body business like the RRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr sound. Lucky I am not Indian, else I will be the odd one. Ah Huh! I am not saying I am not now. I am now the extraordinary one! *Wink*

Anyway, this company is hiring call "Wiz Werx", which has the most F'king Irritating online application ever on earth. If I got the job, I will have bloody hell hard time pronouncing my own company name. So I decided not to apply it. *Laugh out loud*

Well, now adays lots of jobs go thru recruitment agency. Seriously wasting time. *Sigh...* anyway, jst do what I can. Now I am looking for client side job. Guess that's what my heart feels like and I think I will jst work towards what I have planned for this year. A brand exec or any along this line would be fine for me.

I am so looking forward to the long week holiday. I wont get paid but I think I long for one after all incidents happened. It feels like it just happened yesterday.

Alrite. I found something interesting. Will play with it and post it up soon.

Keep a look out for the new invention soon!
Oh yea! got a note from someone. Say my blog's pic very nice. I think this person is froom HK. :D I am glad that ppl do read my blog and I am glad it is still alive. *Yeah*

Keep it up!

Btw, will have more pictures soon. Gonna go travel sooooon..yes! yes! yes!

.Halovely. (Happy+Lovely)

Life cycle

Relieved & Reset & Restart

I tendered this morning. Boss shake head and I grin. Relieved.
141 sercon not taking me. Reset.
This thursday I am going for another interview. Restart.

Life cycles every (average) 2 years.

Time to pick up and go hunt again. The most tiring thing to do in life.
How I wish I am now a primary school student. *Dream*

I am risk taker.
I don't have a job.
There are ppl counting on me.
I am rebelious.
I very tired.
I want a life.
There are ppl counting on me.
I am restless.
I need love.
I want to settle down.
There are ppl counting on me.
I am still a woman.
How I can going out without spending single cent?
How I can be the 'open palm' instead?
How I can be the spoil brad?
How? How? How?

Life is cruel.. I wish I am the youngest and born with a silver spoon.

.Tirovely.

Awesomeness

Life is awesome with you!
Just you alone.

Life is tasty with you!
Just you alone.

Life is sweet with you!
Just you alone.

No others.

24 Jan 2010 6:40am
B ah bb I'm home now. Managed to clear alot of work. Tomorrow or latero no need to go back office. Can sleep in and work from home edi. Sigh miss you. Dunno if we are staying together it would be nice or bad :(

Sorry bb, I know. Even my parents worry and dunno what is happening to me. All I hope is you trust me. I just want a future with good life later. now work hard nvm. Sometimes I think I'm selfishh to wish you will be there when I come home... But then I know you can't sleep well waiting for me so I'll feel bad and cannot work hard also... Sigh

24 Jan 2010 2:51pm
I just woke up. Reading your message again what's the only way for you to stop worrying? Me to leave totally? If that helps than maybe I will do that.

I'm awake fully didn't sleep well cause of what you said. I also feel very far apart from you and it hurts. I got problem now also u dun talk to my friend. I upset with you also I dun share with my friends. You still confide with francis... I'm alone. I worked hard yesterday so today hopefully we can go east coast take picture. But after what you said yesterday I feel down and dunno if I want to ask you out.

Maybe what you say is not clear or maybe I dun feel safe also. Anyway you want to go beach? We can take photo and have dinner there. But must let me so some work at home first. Pick you at 5.

I think there are few things I want to clear here.
Before you think or act futher, please always remember, dont ever act like a kid and dont ever act irresponsible. I'm not secondary and I am not a replacement where you think you can anytime kick me off or call me in. I am a human and I am just a girl who needs love.

1. I will continue to worry about your safety no matter what even if I'm not staying with you, I will still do so.
If you think this will distract you from working hard then sorry. I will just stop. I don't want and I don't mean to interrupt you or draw your attention away. I dare not to sms you or call you when there's no reply coz I worry I will distract you. Let me know what works best for you. R/S is not about you or me alone. It is about US, we both!

2. There is nothing to talk about or complain about to your friends. I hardly talk to them coz they have their own life. Of coz there's need, they will prompt me. If not they will still go bek to you. We hardly meet and everyone knows we have 'broke up'. So what's there to talk about me and u? Max is they will tell me about your new gf. Where you bring your gf to and when you go to your gf's place. This your creation and you should feel proud of what you have created. This is aint fair to me FYI. If one day ppl tell you they see me dating with another guy out there, should you believe them or me? When you make up story, have you thought of consequences? Or unless those things are truth. Let's get over it.
I don't think there's anything I want to complain about us.

3. Working hard to have a better future is a good morale. But who would promise you to bring you a better future or better life in the future if you work hard? Do you know what would happen to you tomoro or even an hr later? Answer is NO. Treausre whatever you have and live everyday like your last day. No matter how rich you are now, you can't bring all treasures down with you. U get what I mean? All I long for is happiness and fullfillment.
When my hearts tell me to do. I follow my heart. That's how I persue my happiness.

4. Why don't you feel safe? You feel something? You feel either you can't give me more or you think I have someone else? The truth is Yes. There are few ppl after me. But I am NOT bloody hell interested. Coz I am still waiting for you.
Remember I told you once during the very first month I shifted out? No matter what do not doubt my love to you. Do you still remember? If you don't remember, please read back my old blog pages. Do not doubt what I say and If I can't fulfill it, I will not anyhow throw out from my mouth. U have my word.

Anyway, this year CNY will be something different. I wish you will have a few days break so that we can go holiday. But I doubt you can now. Just enjoy yourself. I think I will be away for few days. Time to do soul searching.

Enjoy your week ahead.I had a nice night with you though it's just a short hang out.
Be able to kiss you is my pleasure. Kissing you on your lips is something I crave for everyday. I want to feel the tenderness and softness of your lips again.

Well, wish me luck for tomoro's tendering and good news for interview or 141sercon or whichever.

*Lovely*

With me..

Where fun starts here!

I love my new polaroid camera! I think it is worth it coz I am having fun with it now! Old time has gone and now new thing has just arrived.  I am so going to play with it during CNY.

Afterall, I am just not so ...... I know how to keep memory and generate more! Gonna buy a marker to doodle on the photos and start my new sketch book!

Oh ya..what shall I name this cam? Pink and bulky... erm.... Pink Bull?

I am going to name my sketch book, The fun starts here and everyday with more memories.

Awesome I think. *smile*

*Pink Bull-Lovely*

Capture them!

The gadget that I craving for.
Polaroid Camera - The fun that stays in your pocket..


I saw this pamphlet @ my house. And my eye was stuck when I first saw it. I remember when you packed your room you had one. I was so jealous that you can afford to get one when you were young (not sure how old but by judging from the 'kuan' of the cam, it looks old) *grin* Don't slap me! *hands up*

Then I decided to get one since I want to print photos to make the photo book. Not sure if this is worth it not sure how long it can last not sure if I should or the sony printer better or both also don't buy. Without thinking much, I just go for it. Sometimes life dont need a second thought.

Fun is all around. Think twice when you need to spend a big sum, else, why wait?
I wont have second life and who knows what would happen tomoro. Let's capture the fun and enjoy while you can! *stress free*


I know I anyhow. But I need something to perk me up.
I was worry about you at home and not sure if you are doing okay.
Well, if this is going to continue to be like this, I think it is fair that I give you more freedom.

23 Jan 2010 3:39am
B ah bb I'm finally home. Tomorrow 10am must go work again. Sigh. The kids there for me also no use if you aren't there. Anyway I want to go bathe and zzzz. Sorry earlier on very grouchy I turn off my phone and just listen to music while doing work. Muaks. Sweet dreams.

Yes I want to take photos with you. But I want our life to be private cause it's somewhere I can escape and be alone without interruptions and just be with you alone. Good night my lovely. Sweet sweet dreams.

Thank You! You may think you want your life to be private, truely. It may sound 'mistress life' to me. When you need me, you call. When you are busy, let's talk later. God knows what happen to you there. Well, yeah, freedom you were saying. Yea..I know. I will do what I think it is right. I will take care of myself. I will be independent and find solution when I need one. Then how can I fit you into my picture? Arent relationships all about being together and your partner is the main priority?

Yea, you need to work and you need to earn money. No money no life. True! I agree totally. But if money is so important until it over-shadow your life, then think twice. Dont be obsess by money! Money creates temptation. Love is around you to fill your life. Happiness to keep your life moving. Enjoyment is what you crave for daily.

Maybe you are right, I am desperate. Well, I quit without a job, how desperate can I be?

Anyway, take care of yourself and sorry I can't be around you often. You have enough of hassle everyday, I dont want to be your extra burden. and I will take care of myself which I am doing it everyday.

My mom upset because I suffer alone here. She blamed the man who threw me here. Well, I told myself, I am glad to be here. I thank him for asking me to come here. If not I wouldn't know you. I am glad to have you...

Enjoy your day and remember to fill your stomach and keep warm. Dont fall sick!

*Funovely*

Don't Matter

One Hand Slap
Two Hand Clap

I am tired and exhauted. I need a life.
I don't really have working mood so far. The moment I step into the first day of 2010,
I have decided to settle my life down.

I don't force you to think alike. I won't ask you to do what I like. Like I say, no one will do things to please me. None force to do chores and your freedom is yours and no one can grab them away from you.
Money is important. But happiness is more crucial.
Money can't buy everything. But without money is hard to survive.
U just got to know what is your limitation.
I think with my salary, I can still manage.
I chose to have a better life, I spend less if I have tight pocket.
I chose to have happiness, I enjoy the companionship. As long as we are together, no matter what we do, where we are, we will be happy. Because we are together sharing laughter.

Don't Matter.

It is not about the place or people around you, but the partner of yours brings you laughter.
Therefore, I have only one wish for this year. Family. Raj and Maddie is a big sample to me. They dont earn extremely lot but they are happy. They owe more than what we both have. I am sure we can do better than them. Just the matter of compromising.

Since we are not thinking alike, life still goes on. As long as you are happy, then I will be happy too. *grin*

Tomoro i want to go check out the poloriad camera. I always wanted to get one. I think it is time to go for it before CNY. So I can start another album soon! *Yeah!*

Since you dont want to take pic with me, show pic will let ppl know about us...Then I do something else. I dont like the now us. Do I have a choice than accepting it and jst like that?

Life is aint fair after all. No one is going to what I like.
We flirt to have a better day.

Dont Matter.
*Oldovely*

Superman

Let me be the superman you always wish for. Let's dare our dream with dreams.

I LOVE MY INSTINCT.

I am in-love!
with the smell, with the texture, with the touch, with the memory, with the special thought.
I got the superman note!!! But you say only 1 with a proposal note. Where izzit exactly? *puzzled*

I was thinking about superman.
I was thinking about you.
I was thinking about the superman tin can.
I was thinking to pick one and have a better night.
I was thinking how much I miss you.
I was thinking if it is better to stay this way.
I was thinking do you still want me and how much.
I was thinking .......

I don't love the way we are now.

*Lovely*

想要有个家

TIRED.

Realised few days I didnt blog. Don't even have time to eat and shit.
No food No shit! Hassle Free! Go Green!!! *cheers*

Imagine that's the tagline for anti-food. Am sure the impact will be huge. *laugh*

Tired.

I wanna go home.
I wanna have a home.
I deserve a home.
It is time to own a home.
Right time to settle in.

After I quit, I will go on a L.O.V.E.L.Y.L.O.N.E.L.I.N.E.R travel plan.
Time to use up the air-ticket and as planned. but will u be joining? *-_-???*

I just want to relax and rest and enjoy alittle.
I wish I have a home. A home that plays jazz music with dim lights and cozy feel.
A home that feels with love and happiness. A home that you will feel alone.
A home that makes you feel loved and full with passion and curiosity.
A home that filled with laughter and fun time photos.
A home that only 2 of us. Just the 2 of us, with nothing else.

A home that belongs to just both of US - you & me.

^Tired + Lovely = Tirovely^
meaning: A tired lovely, still lovely.

*Giggle* *Laugh* *Burst out laughing* *Laugh out loud* *Laugh* *Giggle* *Smile* *Wink*

我的爱很大

你知道我有好多好多爱

它们从来都不只在一个地方
爱造物主 爱夜 爱书
爱周围需要帮助的人
还有那只猫和路上流浪动物

它们要分给很多人

有时我不明白为什么
你和别的男人不一样
可以用最让我自在舒适的方式
爱我喜欢我
 
难怪我会这么喜欢你

因为你的爱也跟我一样
可以很大很大
因为有你，我的世界才变的更有意义

Give-A-Way or Give-Away

Count me in or exclude me forever.
Count me in from the start. Exclude me from the begining, forever.

I think I started to be pushie again. I am sorry. I push myself to go further in every aspects. Yes, I am having hiccups with the stupid career. Which I am trying hard to crowl over and make it happen again.

I am now planning to run stationary shop and I wish to make it come true. I dont know how to share with you coz you have been bz. and we dont have time to talk. When we talk, i dont want to bored u with business talk agn before i have a more concrete research. That's why i was angry when you always plan things alone. Well, i dun want to nag or complain. This will only worsen the whole situation. I do, sincerely hope things will get better soon.

By saying this, I dont mean to just sit down and ohmmm...till miracle happen. I knw what I want and the main issue is I dont feel I am important to you. Last minute plans and plans that you run all alone! You need time for yourself, ok, go-a-head. Your parent miss you and you need to spend more time with them. Yes! go-go-go! You got lots to do, you need to settle them! Alrite. Let's continue your work.

Then?

No forcing.
Just plain discussion.
I will understand you, your feeling if you share to me more. I did mention to you when i first met you, i dont need alot of freedom. I need someone to control me so i sense your love and care abt me. I am fine if you dont let me go out and ask me stay home. I know you care. Well, thanks for the extra freedom. I will keep them in my superman can, emergency i will use it. I will still behave myself, truely.

And I think you have hard time juggling your time. Your work, your family and something else. I basically not in your plan. *laugh* Why I said so? *laugh-out-loud* Think about it, I dont know. I am just another weekend ascot. *laugh* *laugh* *laugh* Did you make me different from others? *laugh* Ya! I am stupid!
You are right. *laugh*

-miserovely-

Putting on the mask

Not who I am.
I am not real. This is not me.
I am not me. I am like a blind fly.
I am not happy. I am in a mess.
I am so emotional. I am like a safe box, things in hardly out.
I stop complainning. I think world has more things to do and world evolves quickly.
No stop and stare case. Never.

No one is going to please me. No one is going to do what I like.
No one is going to be slave for me. No one is going to love what I do.
No one is force to do chores & No one to be there when I need help.
Coz they are not paid to do so.
Afterall, l.o.v.e.l.y a.l.o.n.e feels l.o.n.e.l.y and be the l.o.n.e.l.y.n.e.r
(funny)

I shall let go coz I think this has been too hard for me.
Whatever have promised in life, all over, all done.
My dream is one step closer now. Thats all I know.
Should I let go my high pay job to do what I like? (I have ppl counting on me)
Or should I persue my dream no matter what happen? (I still have ppl counting on me)
What is the long term deal? what is worth for the wait?
My life has been hard coz I have been living for everyone.

What am I thinking now? Where is my thinking hat?

^Lo.vne.ly^

Let's go to bitch road

Speak out!

I need a shoulder.

Today is a black Friday. Oh well, nothing fun to shout about this, nothing new since the very first day until current moment. So we shall skip this and I keep what had happened today in mind, reme,ber what should I do and what to do best to secure my future.

The more obstacles @ work, the closer journey to my dream. Yes. Thou shall not give up easily. Yes. Definately. But not when I am all alone and without single support. Anyway, I will do what I can and speak out.

Anyway, let's not think about the past. Let's look forward to my new assignment. I need help man!!! I got my assignment at this time and how would I react when I so super tired. I am blank!

My weekend burn just to think about this assignment and office work. Help me!!!! Out of a sudden I just hate my life. *laugh*. I just dont wish to do something so ordinary. I want my dream to come true! Eagerly!
I wish Im only 20 now.

^bitchy-Lovely^

When you are happy

And you know you clap your hands.

Yeah! Last nite send in resume and this morning got call in and ask for interview. It's fast! *brilliant*!
I was surprise that they will call me for interview. 141 Sercon.

I think I have grown up abit but the obstacles are still plenty. But this has never stop me from searching my soul.. I wish I can somewhat settle down this year. Life is hectic when you keep runnng around without a proper place to live in.

*Yawn* Tired life I have since last year Aug. Hope aft CNY things will start to fall at its place nicely. *Smile* Looking forward!

How's my baby doing? Working here everyday after meal sure sleepy and everyday wake up early go work then worry the whole day if there will be anything wrong. And becareful of what I say and it might cause havoc to the whole world.

Very tired of preparing myself to the war. Well, keep my finger cross tight tight, i hope they will consider me and i can learn something new this year. i promise to learn harder and try 101% more than the usual one. Please pray for me.

Tired, sleepy and exhausted. It can never be enough though you have 8 hours sleep everyday.
I want baby to have more rest and I also hope baby can spend more time with me. Contradicting rite? *nod*
Yes! I am. But I just want to tell you.

I love you and never change.

Love you. ^lovely^

Love begins with a single word

I told you so
Suppose I called you up tonight and told you that I loved you

And suppose I said "I wanna come back home".
And suppose I cried and said "I think I finally learned my lesson"
And I'm tired a-spendin' all my time alone.

If I told you that I realised you're all I ever wanted
And it's killin' me to be so far away.
Would you tell me that you loved me too and would we cry together?
Or would you simply laugh at me and say:

"I told you so, oh I told you so
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you had to go.

If I got down on my knees and told you I was yours forever
Would you get down on yours too and take my hand?
Would we get that old time feelin', would we laugh and talk for hours
The way we did when our love first began?
Would you tell me that you'd missed me too and that you'd been so lonely
And you waited for the day that I returned.
And we'd live in love forever and that I'm your one and only
Or would you say the tables finally turned?
Would you say:

"I told you so, oh I told you so
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so, but you have to go.

Will you do so?
Yes I think you did..

But i still love you.

I decided to leave my burden in the office. Finally released and now I am bek to the normal life again. Well, I just got to look for an alternative way to sustain my PR and constant month income for me to spend.
I am glad you love what you are doing for now. I have different view for this year. and you please keep it up!
i wan you to love what you doing! With passion and wisdom! *cheers*

^Lovely^

I told you so

You mean the world to me
Many roads I've traveled down
Many times
But no matterr where I go
It's your face
I see
and so, you see,
I write this down and tell you now
(I just confessed it)
Of all people in the world -
No matter how life spins
and whirls around me
and no matter where I go -
You mean the world
to me

Thanks baby for coming to fetch me.. that's a very nice surprise from you. *love*
Just because you smell the jealousy in me then you come? *laugh out loud*
Poor boy, I am kinda 'xiao qi' rite? *laugh*.
Thanks for the sincerity. Thanks for the initiative. Thanks for your kind gesture & thanks for caring.
I am touched! Really!

I am sorry that my weaknesses still around. No sense of direction, lazy and blah blah blah lots.. I will try to improve one by one. Atleast now I see myself better, slightly. *cough cough*

Really happy that you came last nite. and I am sorry for letting you go off so late. Let me compensate by doing something for you okay? I owe you one!

Love,
^Lovely^

Find a balance

If you never said no to anything, you would be a puppet. If you never said yes, you would be a dictator.In the middle is the give and take of a good relationship, in which you negotiate and persist when something is important to you.

I had a hectic monday. How about you?
I feel old and my back pain since 2 weeks ago. I think i need a proper working place and bed.
Perhaps a good massage would help. I think I need to go look for the chinese doc nearby my house. I eagerly need the medicine.

I am very happy today. Talk to boss abt the City Square Mall campaign. I explained to him about the ideas and the overall research I have done. He was impressed and I told him about the stupid Jeffrey Wong's case. I am disappointed with him and since I have nothing to lose so I went straight to boss and talk to him abt it. I cant just sit there and wait for miracle, and I cant just sit there and wait for ppl to pull down my reputation.
*Praise* Good girl!! Anyway, boss told me he will conduct the meeting tomorrow. *Evil laugh*

After talking to boss, he came out and talk to J.W about the idea sharing tomorrow @ 1pm. Coz J.W told me when i amend the brief and send to him he will see when he can come bek to me for idea sharing. But lucky boss told him tomorrow briefing @ 1pm and he has no say. Then J.W complain to him say my brief not correct though all infor are there. !@#$% *curse and swear*

Then boss told him, my brief is enough and very clear edi, what else he wants. Then he insisted not clear. Well, boss ask him dont like that. Well, I know boss will side him coz he has been working here for very long and he is a come bek kid. (good horse dont eat turn back grass - Chinese always say).

Anyway, I am glad and feeling much released now. I have nothing to lose and I shall do what I think is right. To protect my feeling.

Hate working with this kind of ppl. Well, looking forward to my little shop. I dont want to work for ppl anymore! Thanks for your great offer, I dont mind preparing your meal and cleaning your room. I dont mind doing those for you. I am sure I will enjoy taking care of you and I dont need your shit in return too. *laugh*

I still miss you since yesterday. i was super tired last nite and i think i did say something nonsense. *laugh out loud* When im sleepy, I cant type sms. Please forgive me if I say something stupid or act like alien.

I am still who I am, the ^Lovely^ you used to know and loved.

Love is us. I love us.

I miss the old us. I love the new us.
I treasure everything about us.

I miss the time we used to lied down and watch show and fall off to sleep.
YES YES! when i lied on your tummy, i felt the familarity. i feel the touch that we used to have.
It's kinda sad. It's another level of happiness. It's new stage of hope.


I love and hate you at the same time.
I love the way we have our new vision.
I love the tinkling, poking and pinching feelings like in my heart.
I love the passion we have to set time to meet.
I love the way we talk to each other.
I love the fun that we are having now.


It is another level of happiness.


I hate how you tease me. I have a low self-esteem.
I hate you stress me out. I want to give the best to you.
I hate how you treated me last time. I lost my confidence.
I hate when you just say say and never action. I look forward to see you again. Therefore, I keep your words.


It is kinda sad.


I love to see you sleep. Though you snore and twitch, it is the same old you.
I love the way you rub your goaty on my face. Pain and rough but I know you are with me.
I love when you try to make me laugh. I know my horse laughters brighten up your day.
I love the way you rub my hand. I feel the warm connection from my finger tip to my heart.
I love the way when you pull me closer to your chest. My heart melts when you stare at me.
I love when you con me. I love when you laugh at me. I love us.
All this moments are meant to be personalize. And they are us, who we are.


It is a new stage of hope.


I love us. I love who we are. I love you and me.

This time we went to Ikea to have meat balls again. But this is kinda diff feeling. Now you have a car, and I am no longer staying with you. I am having LPP and you have MCC back (we just exchanged). Now you have what you used to have, just like the day before we know each other..

Life afterall is a cycle. You chase, I run. You hide, I search. I disappear, you happy! *Laugh* That's what you ask today. If you meant it, i will do. So tell me, if you do mean it.Love,
^So-lovely^

What if...

Do you know...
Wonder why...

Do you know I worry about you?
Wonder why you hate worrying about me and yet you make me worry so much abt you?
Do you know I hate when I call you and you never pick up?
Wonder why you never even return call when you see missed call?
Do you know this makes me helpless?
Wonder why you are such cruel and never bother?
Do you think you want me to 'taste' the old me?
Wonder why if you think I never learn my lesson and still want to punish me?

All I want is just that little attention to make my heart at ease.
Well, am i asking too much? *Maybe

If this is all you could do, after 3 missed calls and 2 sms, and all you did was just a short sms say sorry and will call me soon. If this is all you could do, should I claim that I am not important than your work or at all? BTW, i feel left out.

Yes, I deserved this punishment coz I dont know how to treasure you but I do appreciate what you did last time. I dont need you to quit your job just to show how crucial this r/s is, all i need is just this little attention to show you are still concern and care about this r/s.

I remember there was once I call you and you didnt pick up. You didnt even return call, at all. I never send you sms or call again. I was sad, totally upset about this. Well, if im too much and you think this is annoying then i shall just cut this off. I dont want to make you feel irritated or 'fan'.

Im open and you have your options. If you think this is too much, please tell me. If I have no right to do so, pls do share with me. I just want to know what is in your mind. If this is not what I should do, then forgive me and please let me know.

I know I worry abt you especially the moment when you get your new car. I worry even more when you on the road. Sorry to say, I dont think I will stop worrying about you even if you ask me so. Maybe I would cut down slowly. If you tell me stop worrying about you then i guess i know your point.

I think when you love a person, you will constantly worrying about your loved one.

Proof me wrong.

^Not-too-smart-lovely^

Precious

Spending time together again.
Saturday morning was great! I had fun and enjoyed every moment i have with you.
*laugh out loud* I know I was alittle lame but this is me. *faint*
Sorry if this turn you off or irritate you but i like doing this to see people's reaction. *laugh with tears*

We only meet once a week and we hardly share and talk during weekdays about our life.
This make me feel far apart and disconnected. Well, i understand you busy working during the day and you need more rest when you are home. Just that this makes me feel sad that i can hardly spend time with you.

Last time we can go work together, go home together, then we share the same room, we get to hug each other to sleep at nite even we dont see each other during the day and now all disappear. and I am all alone with myself.

but I am glad atleast this make me know how to treasure you more and appreciate the time with you together. Thats nice!

Looking forward to have more fun with you soon..

Love,
^Lovely^

见好就收

Lack of confidence.
Pissed.
Unhappy.
Upset.
Disappointed.

Time to move on and pack thing home.

I hate these ppl who play politics in the office.. I cant take this kind of attitude..
Since there is nothing I can do to change their attitude as this is born within them, I shall move on.
Yes. I am soft and easy to be bullied. Because I dont want to create problem.

Sigh.. I give up!

Well, this year meant to be something different. Maybe this is the start of it.. Is this the sign? muahaha! shiok myself! *Laugh out loud*

I do really hope something different for 2010. If this is the sign, then i shall very soon get wat i want.
*wink*. Now i can put more effort in the shop and plan more things for this shop. Do wat i love to do, do what i have plan to do long ago.

Dont worry. You will have what you have planned all this while. You got your job and you enjoy it alot and I wish you have a good success and get more business.. And hope one day this company will be yours. *wink*

Before I leave my job, i will try to get this project done. and i decided not to join agency anymore. Let's see..
Anyway, I will stick to my dream and will continue work towards it.

And I am so glad for your new SJV450A. *cheers*. Your new wife! yea!!! Man either money or woman. I think yours is money and car. Woman is more than what you can get. *laugh*
I am thankful for your special invite, and I hope when you fetch me, you wont bring me to petrol station. *laugh*. Although there were things that i was upset about but i am still grateful for you for your new wife! Bastard sia you! Ask me to read your car number plate and laugh at me out loud over the phone. So kind la you evil!!! *sweat*

7 Jan 2010 8:16pm
Then shall we go there one day again? I haven't been going out much feel like a turtle. i feel the same way too when i go out see all the places we used to go then miss you more. U go enjoy good la. i go home eat ee-min.

Yes yes! we should. I feel the same way and I told tippie about this, he say im too in-love. *love*.

For now we only meet once a week and that once is limited time. I know I shouldnt talk abt work but us during the meeting time. But I seriously need your help for input abt the brief. not so much abt the ideas for the work. thanks thanks. I will reward you with whatever you like later.. *wink* petrol vouchers!!!

Okay, want to go rest!

Drive safe all the time! no speeding! no talking or sms when you drive!!!
I dont want to keep worrying abt you, if like this I shall ask yr parent not to let you drive. Ya. maybe you are right, when we staying apart and you dont know abt what happen to me, u have less preasure. less worry abt me.

Love,
Lovely*

Let's celebrate!

Happy Anniversary!

This is the 101 post! woohoo! After 2 years of 'hard work', now has come to a day that worth celebrating for.
Happy 101 Anniversary!

Anyone who tag this or leave any comment on this page will get yourself a big hug*.
*T&C apply.

Well, on top of this, today also another day to celebrate my sollowness. *Sob sob*

I wonder how can human be such selfish...
How could you ever neglect my feeling when it involves me, my soul, my body, my mind, my flesh?
When you claim that I am your partner, you should atleast consult/inform/buzz me or share with me your idea.
This is call partner. If not then why would you chose me as your partner? 

A partner is for sharing and doing things TOGETHER, IN PAIR!
You need not a partner when you are walking alone, doing things alone.
I feel disrecpectful, disgrace and dishonour. And this is hurting me badly! OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!

I am thankful for you for sharing with me the outcome, the final result and the happiness.
I feel good for hearing the good news from you and be part of the audience or one of your listener.
Since you have called me, your partner, I feel insulted. I am not too sure how to react when you shared with me your happiness. YES! of coz I am happy for you. But we didnt work together to get this happiness. Therefore, I ask myself, if I should be happy or proud for being your partner. NO!

Let's simplify it. I am not here just to share your happiness but to be a part you. From 1-10 that has my sweat, tears, hard work, screams, laughters, cheering, cursing and swearing. I dont want to hear about your happiness but laugh together with you along, to & from the start till the end of the journey. IF you call me your partner. IF you still do call me your partner! 

Yes, we were on our own way for awhile. We were disconneted and since you, again, claim that I am your partner, please help to act like one. I have no idea what is your 'partner' means. Do you mean only when you need me? Do you mean we are partner for certain things? Do you mean you can have other partner not just me alone? Tell me. Please make it clear.

This feels like a huge big tree trunk falls on my toe. It is painful and yet I dont know how to scream for help. Maybe I care about your feeling too much. But what about me? I am angry, I am sad, but do you think I can say it out? I am sure you will get upset later or even started to be defensive. I dont mean to hurt you or shut you off, I am just trying to work things better for both of us as a partner. Please try to understand my feeling coz I am one of the human too. 

I know those past hurt you alot and you need time to recover from that. But if you could just let go the pass and start looking forward to the future, it will be grateful for both of our lives. I mean, only when you think that is neccessary.

I am sorry that you might think I am a little too thick face. But to avoid misunderstanding, I hope we can make things clear. I do care about how you feel, if not I would have tell you off immediate during your sharing moment. i am sorry that i dont know how to beautify them in a nicer manner. But I do hope you take a few second to think about my feelings.

From 1 -7 you were all on your own, you inform me @ stage 8 then stage 9 then I see soon stage 10 which is also the final stage. From the process of 1-7, where were I? Did you call me? Did you think about me? I dont mean to be harsh but I just hope you give a little bit of thought to it. 

Anyway, I am glad and happy for you. But Im helpless for now. I cant laugh with you too.
But I sincerely hope you get my meaning. If not, pls ask. If you are not interested, nvm. Thanks for everything.

^Lovely^

孤单好吗

When there's not enough TLC...
Once a month...
CrampLah!!!


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My back PAIN like kena hit. Stomach CRAMP like hell. CrampLah.


.

当我们同在一起....叫永远

Sweeter than my lips
Loving than my name

Thank you for asking if i am okay. Yes. I am much better now.
Age matters. Every month i suffer more, IF i have a chance to be mother next time, i think i will ask for the injection. *ouch ouch ouch*

Thank you for being so concern and it really feel nice. *smile*

I am sorry that I cant read you fast and I am sorry to irritate you again. I shall not find any excuse to explain coz im always like this. Not once that i can be smarter. I know this is my weakness and i will try to make it better. *Sad* I aware I shall not talk to you about my problems when you just reach home with hot sweaty body. Am really sorry. *bow* forgive me, please!

I dont get what you mean by soon we or I will have fun. When I ask to explain simply I didnt get it and it was unclear the message. Well, I am sorry for being so stupid and slow. I guess this is why i irriate you so much. I feel bad and I really feel like crying. It hurts and it really hurt when you talk to me with harsh tone. *Wet eyes*

Since we hardly share about our work life, I shall not talk abt it so much. But I dont mind if you want to share with me about your work. I want to learn and I dont mind hearing them. It is part me getting closer to you. *Smile*

I am sorry that my work really bothers me alot. But dont worry, i will settle it myself and yes, i know what i want in my career but i doubt i can achieve it.

Anyway, this is a brand new year, the old chapters are now closed and done. Sun that rises to another day that is brighter than the last. I know I have to be positive and the changes and decisions that have made only there to help to make me stronger. Oh yes, just now i watch "Together" this show, I almost cry. Well, i think i learn something new last year. "Appreciate". I felt that, that is in my blood now. My eyes were wet during few touching moment in the show. I know I am abit too silly to cry. *Shy*.

I am glad that you enjoy your work and clear of what you have. Keep it up okay! No matter where you are, what you doing, enjoy every moment you have!

I have 365 days to play/work/do what I can to determine my next year 2011. Time gonna fly very fast this year and it makes me worry. Well, i live with what I can and within my strenght. I am still learning, learning to be smarter... *laugh out loud*.

Enjoy and continue to seek your dreams.

Be Happy!

^Lovely^

Kiss me at midnite

Hug me when there's storm.
Miss me when I am not around.
Love me so we can always be together.

Baby, i couldnt find any word to replace what's in my heart now.
*tears rolling in my eyes* I feel touched and I am speechless. I guess this is just like when you were young and you got bullied, your admirer was there to rescue you. Or just like when you first know what is love, your little finger touches hers and the spark just connect from yr finger to your heart and make your heart beat fast and your face blush. Or ..... arghhhhh... i dont know.. I jst cant find the word to tell.... *slap*

This is too sweet to describe and too hard to replace with words.. *love*

4th Jan 2010 9:00am
Last night wind keep howling then i work up looking if you were ok.
Always remembered that when got strong wind you scared...

This is more than jst touching.. This is more than love. This is more than word. This is more than a gift. This is more than ......... This is just.... so sweet. This feeling been staying deep inside my heart since the moment i received your sms, meaning which from 9am till now.. nv change. Still so loving and sweet.

Feel like the very first time fall in love!

I feel thankful for having you in my life.

Can I call you if there's strong wind tonite? Can I have you by my side when the strong wind comes again? Can you stay with me and dun go? Can you? Can I use your palm to cover my ears when the howling noise too loud? Can you hug me tighter by then? Can I sqeeze under your arm and sleep tonite? Can I have more of you? Can you pat pat me to sleep? Can I rub you until i fall asleep again? Can I? Can U?

Can you love me more each day x100 years?

*Lovely*

Love is a gift.

To love is to give. And Love is a gift.

3rd Jan 2010.

I met you again. It was so nice and it was a suprise that you wanna come down my area to see me.
Thank you dearest! You are such sweet one! *In love*

This 2 hours has drawn us closer. *cough cough* Not sure about you, but for me, it's definately a  YES YES. *Wink* Looking forward to have more and hoping to get closer to you each day.

I ask you about coming over for CNY. i was actually quite disappointed when you didnt have the intention to come. Well, up to you. My family members always welcome you and if you dont wish to come, that's ok. i know i say ok but i am actually not ok in my heart. Well, i will be fine later. Dont worry.

Just wanna tell you, i hope you can come and I hope we can stick together. If I dont mean anything to you or you are not ready or u dont see a future with me, i totally understand. Be happy k! *Cheers*

and I am not stressing you hor.. Please stop smoking if you can, sincerely!

Alrite.. it is bed time.

Tomoro gonna be a stressful day.

Love,

^Lovely^

Let it go

Life Changing

*Argh*... grouchy mood yesterday morning. Because i couldnt find EPF contact number. internet was !@#$ slow. then i throw tantrum on my mom. I am so so so sorry. I didnt mean to be that but i was just unahppy and disappointed with the services. I wanted to get things done and settle before i go back and I dont want to keep worrying about things here.

I guess I can never be dependent and expect people to help me to run errants. I give up. I will do myself.

Sorry about sharing and telling you about things and make you unhappy. Im really sorry. It will not happen anymore. It will only be happy things.

I feel like screaming and venting out my anger. Maybe because my aunty is coming soon. Sometimes I just want to be me. Sometimes I just want to give up on certain things totally. Sometimes I just want to walk away and disappear. Sometimes I feel like slapping my own face and ask myself to wake up. Sometimes I just hope people would change not only me. I try to be better but they take things for granted. I learn  what is priority and practise it. But i got more disappointment instead.

Well, forgive me for talking rubbish. This page is meant to be a venting page. I give up in expecting things from people. If you want to give, you share. In order for me to keep pushing and telling what I want, what we need and what should we have to make things better, just go ahead with what you think it is right.

I am not young anymore, I dont want to our waste time. I dont think this is the right thing to do and pro-long my pain. So forget about it and let's let it go. and i am not getting back what i have expected and you are not gainning anything but headaches.

Talking to Tippie and found we have grown up alot. And he realised I have changed. *WOW* this is what close friend can spot though we only call and meet once or twice in a year. Anyway, i dont used to share things directly with my partner. We both feel thankful for each other as good friend since we cant be gf/bf. *laugh* the reason was real stupid why we cant be one.

Anyway, he spotted a few things. We also shared how to make a r/s better and our partner feel more comfortable. It feels nice to be his gf only when the girl is not a blur-sotong. Everyone has their POV towards a certain statement. One thing he commented and makes me feel so proud is -my future husband will feel very happy to have me. *Laugh* He always think there are lots of flies and bees around me.

*Laugh* I think I know what a guy want from a girl to make his life easier (*cough* Not everything la. I am not god) and I know how to be more open. Of coz he is kind enough to help the gf to gain back her confidence and be more extrovert.

This believe is not only we know but those who take things seriously in r/s will trust this magic : If you want ppl to respect you, you must first respect ppl. If you want ppl to treat you good, you must first love others. This is a powderful way.

Well, I dare not to say my future husband or partner will feel proud of me, because he said it based on what he has seen and heard. But I will try to give the best and I hope in return he will treat me good too. That's what life all about.

But when we touched abt 'family trip or family visitation' I feel sad. I am not here to put blame coz i didnt do a good job, but i hope there shall not be any revenge in heart at the first place and i seek understanding for future respect. Oh well, dont worry. Things over and I am done with all unhappy things. I promise to improve, i will respect what decision has made and I will try to make it work. The rest not up to me to plan and decide and I shall let is go.

Thanks for spending so much time with me and thank god to have you to teach me what is love and relationship. And now im good to go.

Life still goes on and happy can edi... YES!!!

Alrite.. going to pack and time to go bek to the reality and no more fooling around.

^Lovely^

Journey to the North

The process &Progress

None would expect time flies this fast.

None would expect 1st Dec and 2nd Dec gone by like this.

My travel partner for this trip, *claps*

MCC - Min Chao Chao (direct translate - Face Black Black)

Always an emo kid. But he's good enough to spend time with me in travelling to places. I guess he's cursing and swearing for 5 hours journey.

Don't ask me if I bought 2 seats' tickets or 1. He is simply my priority during travelling. Unless LPP (his partner) around, then guess he wont mind to sqeeze in the bag for 5 hrs.

This is just a normal VIP bus. But I have to provide Super Duper First class VVIP service.

*nod* Yes Yes! He is my King - Jr.

*Laugh* Opps.. He even has the first priority to be in my hand bag. Yes! Dont be jealous!

" Okie my majesty! My bad to sqeeze you like a lemon.!"  

The sick slave!

2nd Dec

I finally can have my paddington pancake in One Utama.

"Oh Gosh! I miss it so much!!" *Warm*

Paddington Pancake, the man/waiter kept staring at me during the whole 1hour.

I wonder what's he up to.

The sause that's simply fantabulous!!! If you dont know how to eat, it might taste like 'Ah neh' smell to you. But after all, it's something nice to try. *Heart warming*. Just that mom say not worth for the price.

*Slurp* I'm going bek home to make! This weekend breakfast! Onz!!!

This year solution - Cook more and make more nice food.

Aint he cute? *Laugh* He is naughty but he is smart.

Tell you, he can play 'Cooking Mama' pretty well!! *Thumb Up*

My first ever branded bag! DKNY!

Ya i know, it cost RM699! I know, it doesnt come with fantastic pattern. Coz i like it simple.

I know the color is bright and not all dare to carry. Yes. I like it to be stunning.

I know it is big not lady-like at all. Yes Yes. This is so me! I like my bag big big.

 

First time in my entire life!

Spent RM700 with one swipe at one time on one bag.

Being a rich tai-tai not easy. Feeling like one is far different from what I thought.

I settled my first wish - get myself a nice bag.

A good start of the year! woohoo! *cheering!*

In conclusion,

When I saw this bag, i couldnt make up my mind. I was so dependent and i pick up my phone and call you. I was not very sure if you were stl sleeping or busy or wat. All i know was, call you and check with you if I should buy. I didnt mean to disturb you or be so childish. I just want your opinion and I was hopping i can mms you to show you all the bags in the shop. So when you tell me which one is the best, i would have buy that.

I know I was so dependent. I respect your decision and I love hearing your ideas and thoughts. Well, for you, i can. I can be so dependent. Simply because I trust you.

Today you ask me:

2 Dec 2010 15:16

Cheh I am okie la take my time walk and listen to music mah. Same as cycling... You scared I lonely or I kao lui? Haha

Here my explaination. I chose to let go coz I was done with it on my last day of 2009.

YES *Firmly* I scared. I have no faith and i have phobia in that. I am not sure if you aware, if you dont, that's okay. I did mention to you not once but few times abt it. I appreciate that you listen but I was sad that no extra explaination and action taken on this. *Disappointed* But no forcing. *Give until it hurts, coz real love hurts*. Life is quite fair in certain way/time. I missed certain part and now time to pay them back.

o... There's this phone call from sg to my sg line. A woman called me said she's Jeffery's wife. And she told me she know I've been hanging with him very often and she's not going to get angry but wanted to talk to me. I was like, "WTF" okie.. But I kept asking her which jeffery she was refering to. My office got 2 and other than that I dont have any fren call Jeffery. One is gay and One is half single half attached. and I am either close with any of them and I hate that half single half attached one. The gay one is my boss. *boo...*  I was confused. Thats not my main point. Guess life has many many "first time". This's my first time receiving such call and remind me on something.

Well, dont want to think about sad things. As long as i know what am i doing and I think it is worth to do, then I will do. Life is short. I treasure every single minute I have in life with meaningful work.

Most importantly, Happy can edi. I wish you happy here.

I met tippie, xter and ah nam just now. Xter and Ah nam jst a quick one. Had an hr chat with tippie. Finally I realised we have grown up... Life is actually quite simple and i know him since 13. We dont meet often, we dont talk often, we dont call everyday, we meet once or twice in a year, but we still know each other well. Perhaps we are different. When things dont work out your way, stop and go away. When things go your way as wat you have planned, go ahead and leave the rest behind.

Good nite and take good care.

Love,

*Lovely*