怎么会狠心伤害我

Pain.

Where have you been yesterday or last night?
Tell me.
YES please, tell me the whole thing.

Please.
This is important to me.

Thank you for offering and asking me if I will move back with you.
You told me you had nightmare and you were scared. That's so sweet.
But "what if" there wasn't any? Tell me what would happen to us?

You say, since I have changed, so should be okie.
but "what if" I never? Tell me what would happen to us?

I told you, you will need to consider few things.
I don't mean to put you down, but I was hurt bcoz of last nite.
I told you, you are irresponsible.
And you replied me say, if we were to stay together again, you will be like last time.
but "what if" we never? Tell me what would happen to us?

Can you see the whole picture? It is all about me. That's me. And only me.

Yes, you need to see my action before you start your plan and be who you are and start giving.
but "what if" I think the same way too? Wait for miracle to happen? Does that mean both will never see any good result turn out?

Yes. There is no "what if". There is only possibility, yes or no.

I try not to be defensive and rude. I try to use better words so that we both won't get upset or make the whole r/s worse than before. I try to speak straight to the point until im speechless and I am blank.

You need assurance, you have fear, you lack of confidence, i offer to be the leader to boost up what you need. And I will deal with mine behind.

Life isnt fair. Yes. I wish in a r/s you will love me more.

but i don't feel appreciated and neglected during this few months.

Im not blaming you. Dont get me wrong. I just want to share with you few things then im all done.

I hate being in such situation. All of your friends think we are no long together. Coz you behave that way. And you told them you want me to move out. That's hurt from the very first day until today. Yes. you gave alot. but does that mean you can kill my heart like that? This is the very first thing draw us away and this is the very issue that disconnect me from you. This is a shame to me.

Secondly, you told your close friend about us. And being so secretive until the whole world say you and her. It is not that I don't trust you. Again, you behave as such. How could I believe 100%ly? You never bother to explain and this make me hanging and i feel useless and hopeless. This is hurt. This took me months to overcome.

third, moving out is your choice. You never share with me what's your plan. I would love to hear from you and always so. I pick up myself from no where and I was like an idiot keep waiting for you. I cried, almost everyday. Coz i feel hurt. even now. I have dealed with my fear and nonsense, dont worry.

I have never restrict you from hanging out with your friends. Since you ask me to repect you, your privacy, I give it all to you. You changed your password, you went out with your friends never tell me until the very last min (thats ok coz you never bring me with you), you have plans during weekend and you ask me if we shld meet up at night.

Share me your thoughts, how many times you told me we meeting and ended up nothing? Dont say say or bring it thru even if you have no intention of doing it. Please. Help me with this. I sincerely hope that nothing goes wrong anymore. i love you and how you are the most important person on the earth to me. But something you do sometimes makes my heart soft of go away.

All i need from you is be more responsible. Commitment is not easy to handle. Once you say yes, I shall trust you in handling them nicely, coz you are the man of the house and in us. I love and value so many things about you.

I love the effort that you put in and the time we have together means alot to me, and your lateness robs me of what I really desire - to have good time with you. Do you mean there's nothing can motive you anymore? Seeing me is something so boring? *laugh* perhaps not boring but irritating.. Tell me, i dont mind. I hope we can clear away all doubts and misunderstanding and move on together.

I always love to stay with you stick to you and be with you. You may want to take those things into consideration. 1, you friends will know about this. I care what they are thinking. Coz i hate being judged and I hate rumours. I need to protect our reputation and i want us to be the perfect sample for all of them.

2, Your privacy. Again, you need to make it clear what can be shared and what not. You know the taste of living together. Im not pushing you, I just want you to understand if you are ready for it. I don't want to irritate you and ended up not happy and ask me to move away again. And during this season, all you need is plenty of supports for your career. I refuse to be anyone's burden. I love to have you but if this is too much for you, i will step back.

3, Responsibilty. This is the most biggest commitment in a r/s. This include delivery of promises, willing to commit in a r/s fully until the extend of giving up being who you are, sacrifices and to change to suit the environment and your partner.

Tell me share me your most inner thoughts. I am always here for you, 24/7 x 365days x 100 years.
When times are right, everything will start to fall at its place nicely.

I am sorry to write you such long nonsense. There are things i seriously dunno how to speak out. I scared I might hurt you or cry infront of you. This is why i chose to ask you to go sleep last nite. Forgive me my stupidity.

Love you always & happy boxing day.

- lovely -