Give away 2009, Take the new leads

One stop solution: Give & Take

None walking around resentful & depressed


I had a nightmare. I cursed & sweared wen i woke up. *shiver*.
I will never want that kind of life. Disgusting, lonely and shit!!! *pui! pui! pui!*
Dont wan to talk abt it. Let say my last word before i depart my journey to the north & welcome 2010.


2009, a joyful first half year & a much depressing year end rather.


- Feb - We went back to CNY. I was like.. oh shit.. few days without and the moment i had to say goodbye from the gantry gate, i was like... I dont wanna leave u... depressed.heart pain. but i really got to go... *sob sob* Well, very fast will see you again. but that few days without you was HELL. then we went frasers hill. We gamble and you won the most. U cheater. *laugh out loud* and everyone trying to win your money but you were just so damn lucky bastard.. *laugh*. And i got myself a scarf from you. and those were part of my money too.. *evil laugh*


Then we went bek to kl on and off. We hunt for toys. My mom keep scolding me for buying toys.. always say: still small ar? *eyes rolling* Well, we enjoy playing with it.. now im looking for money. Thinking to make my own mini store unique coins. *Cheers* woohoo!!


We didnt travel much this year coz both of us were jobless for a moment and no money. And time fly very fast.. I screwed up the r/s and i irritate you alot. Until the day my uncle passed away you scolded me badly. My heart was totally broken into pieces. I cried until my head pain and sunk to the bottom of my toes, and that's when i decided to tear away the first getaway tickets i bought and put back the clothes i packed.


I drank for the few days. i hate being alone and i hate being mind-free. I squad in the toilet and cry. i covered up so that no one could hear me. Midnite i stood near the window cried and drank. I know I gonna have gastric if i keep drinking like this, but i dun care. I even feel like commiting suiside at a point. *crying out loud* and then i understood why ppl make up their mind & finally jump from high floor or kill themselves with drugs. In one night, i lost everything.


Everyday i go to work & i work hard. Whenever i have chance to drink, i drink. i hardly eat. One meal per day. And my stomach just so guai.. I must say she didnt give me any problem during the low season. i work and work and work. i hardly call home coz everytime i call home, my mom cry over the phn. And you are right, I will start sobing at the other corner. i dont knw what to say and what to do to make them at ease. If she cant reach me or i didnt reply her sms, she starts worrying. Now atleast better.


*laugh* Everyone saw my FB msg during that period, they thought what happen to me. Well, no one knows how badly i was hurt and how much i feel like dying.


Thank God im still alive. I picked up myself with few supports beside.


I plan to buy a bigger house in KL. Once my bro graduates frm school, he can get a job and pay the car loan. then i shall just bear my study load and house loan. Everyone stay together and everything will be save. i still insisted to get my dream house which cost min RM1.8mill. What the heck lor.. Whatever I like, all superb!


Here comes the air tickets thingy. thought if everything goes well, we could have go honeymoon soon. Well, I always guess wrongly. just not my luck. I did my research for next year travelling plan, since this year we didnt travel much, so decided to give you a surprise. I call this, the path for 2 souls 4 hands 2 legs.


Well, since this is no longer a surprise, coz xter knows abt it long ago. She was over excited and she keeps asking me to send her pictures later. she anticipated for my latest blog soon. but well, i put her down.


And given 2 choices. In April i will get my diving license first. so wherever we go, if you like, we can do diving. Feb will start my theory. then mid year will be a short break. So we can save more money for year end long vacation. Innitially we plan to go Japan, korea and other asia country. Given a choice, I would rather explore somewhere not-so-easy to access.. I mean if my pocket allow la..


We either fly to SG - Japan - Taiwan - China - then another country god-knows-where - SG. Do an Asia league tour.
or
SG- Bangkok - (Turkey) -Oslo- small places ard there - SG.. (Which i have more or less argeed. Coz I think Oslo is a damn cool place..) If i could go to these kind of antic places with my loved one, I dont mind to get a short life. Which i think worth it! Of coz if my family can come along, then i choose to die for everyone. Die 100x also no prob.. *laugh* *cough cough* I am not cat lor anyway...


Wedding theme, house decor, kids' name, which month to make baby so that the kids will share the same birthday month with daddy. During pregnancy, i want to take pic. Thats so art and I would love to have an album just showing the progress of the tummy sizes. Of coz taking artistic photos with daddy together. So art neh!!!


Photo theme i also thought about it. Erm.. let's do something uncommon and something fun. I think more like us. *www.oneeyeclick.com* i been searching and keeping photos samples. but well, i thk those things no in need anymore.


Well, all done.


Let's bury them from now on and start fresh... Bury the past unhappy things. Bury that stupid ideas and bury the sadness and misunderstanding and bad experience. Bury the unwanted love. Bury the stupidity, Lies, cheats, beat ard the bush character, easy to get hurt, speak without brain, jealousy, bad time management, attitude problem, bad mouth, insensitive, over sensitive, bad healthy, bad breath, timid heart, unloved feeling. Bury them and... (but i want to thank the above listed for making me a better person today, but i hate having them beside me! *shooo!!boh!!!*


Grant us: more patience, more fun-loving, more sweet tooth, more brain, more good cheeky ideas, sensitive towards ppl's feeling, kind, joy, good health, pretty and handsome, forever young @ heart or out-look, tougher to dig $$$ and wisdom!!!


Dont even think about it and dont bring forward to 2010.
Still got few hours then 1st Jan 2010! Woohoo! Hooray!! hooray!!!
Let's cheers for 2010 and have a better year! *Cheers*.


This year is a bad year for everyone, i hope next year we can watch the last sunset and first sun rise together. I think that's meaningful. FYI, i only do this with my loved one. Not anyone or everyone okie? I will want to spend this meaningful night with you. You might have did it with someone else, but i dont care, that's past and i cant change it. but future, i want to make it better. If you going to do this with someone else while i am away, then pls inform, so that i know I am not that someone special to you anymore. I will be sad but I will be glad that you break my heart in 2009 instead of 2010. I am hoping for a better 2010 to be with you.


Alrite, time to go.. 5 hours journey to the north and time to go home to settle things.
1. Loans, clear bills and debts. money money money...arghhh... forever!
2. laywer doc (this one take forever)
3. Time to go explore shopping mall in kl to see the decor.
4. Check out KL's fireworks! They are always nice and charming but what abt this year? Gonna spend it at the balcony with a nice cold drink. *love it*. but too bad, darling wont be ard.


Love you always & Happy New Year to you and your family, may everyone of you healthy, properous!




^Loving - Lovely^